lifeaftr | The Saddening

Entry tags:

The Saddening

Who: Prompto, Chocobros, OTA
What: Event catchall for Prompto stuff
When: Over the duration of the event
Where: Mostly around the chocobro house
Warnings: Angst, pain, sad saps, sickness, potentially very poorly done confessions to girls. Dates may vary depending on what happens over the event.

August 6~7 - Running off - Chocobros
Prompto messily scrawled the words on a piece of wood using chalk from the noticeboard.

"Going to help unbury people. I'm fine."

The piece of wood was left at their house when no one was there and he snuck off. As soon as he started showing symptoms he knew he had to do something. He couldn't get Ignis or Gladio sick, but he didn't want them to worry about him. He couldn't live with himself if something happened to the guys because of him.

At first his intentions were true. He figured he might as well go help with the new people. That changed quickly as his symptons worsened. It felt like he was getting hit by a fever, and he decided to take a detour instead, looking for some small bit of cover that he could hide under and curl up. He'd really rather be snuggled up in a bed. His mind wandered off, thinking of all the cozy hotel rooms they used to stay in, all curled up in blankets. The best he had for now was his winter coat, which was at least warm if nothing else.

August 10~11 - Confessions - Chocobros
After being dragged back home and spending much of the time trying to become one with the few scrappy blankets they had, they had eventually learned that honesty was a cure. How did that even work? He half wondered if it was a bad joke. He didn't really think of himself as dishonest. He might put up a front or hide, but he was just trying to help his friends. He wasn't trying to be bad.

There was a lot he hid, of course, and he didn't even know where to begin. What would he have to say to make the sickness go away? Rather than sit up, he stayed curled up on the ground of their 'living room' of sorts, using one of the pillows they had from the tent as a headrest. He wasn't the big tough guy. He handled illness like a big baby - but at least a mostly quiet one. If he had a plush he would have happily been hugging it.

His eyes lazily followed the going-on's while he remained mostly silent, until he finally confessed quietly, "'m glad I'm home."

August 12~15 - Confessions - Girls
Sitting out by the water, Prompto half wondered if it would be easier to stay quiet and die rather than be open and honest to everyone. On the best of days he had trouble talking to girls, and they tended to travel in packs which was scary and intimidating. In his mind it was so easy - just tell the girls that he thought were pretty that he thought they were pretty. In practice he might have an easier time trying to digest a pile of dirt. Rejection was a lot more tolerable when he didn't take it seriously.

It didn't help that he found most girls his age attractive. It wasn't as if he even stuck that strictly to his own age - Iris had been 16, and Aranea had been 30. It wasn't his fault all girls were so damn pretty. It was unfair! The odds were stacked against him from the start.

He noticably tensed whenever a girl neared him, fearing confessing to them more than death itself. Moreso than usual. If he was rejected this time, it was really him they'd be rejecting. He couldn't dare to actually approach, so he sat by the water, choking back the symptoms of the illness while he skipped some rocks.

August 12~15 - Confessions - OTA
Prompto tended to keep negative feelings to himself. He didn't like to insult people, didn't like confrontation and didn't like to hurt anyone. Even when he was in pain he resisted. He wasn't the type to lash out.

Which made the whole honesty thing that much harder. He might end up burning a few bridges. Because of hurty limbs and overall aching, he stayed near the house with his back pressed up to a wall. He stayed mostly reserved, but he wouldn't ignore anyone who approached.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Gladio looked from Prompto, who seemed like he was dying, to Ignis, who was trying his damnedest not to seem like he was dying and finally sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"Talking's probably a good idea. I doubt Connor'd have said it if he didn't have some evidence that it at least helped and we aren't getting anywhere on our own." There's a pointed look at Ignis to go with that last bit and enough frustration in his tone to make it apparent even when Iggy couldn't see it. "You both need to rest and your bed isn't big enough for all of us, Prom."

Which is Gladio for no it's not awkward and he doesn't see why it would be. It's just practical. And unless Prompto's going to protest that bit of logic Gladio is going to lean down and scoop the blond up to relocate him to the bedroom. The obvious implication, of course, that Ignis should follow.

A frown crosses Ignis' face when he hears the sounds of Prompto's efforts--as weak as they are--to move toward him. The blonde should be resting, not trying to move and he's about to say as much when Gladio solves the problem for them by scooping Prompto up and carrying him toward the bedroom. Ignis has no issues with them using the bed, and he's well aware of the fact that Prompto and Gladio have much to talk about, especially after all that happened at the beach party.

They have things to talk about. Ignis isn't sure he has a place in that conversation, honestly, and as a result, doesn't make any effort to get up from the floor right away. He strongly suspects that Prompto will find it easier to be honest with fewer people around, but at the same time, the blonde had seemed very insistent about them all talking--enough that he was trying to move despite how much it hurt him.

With a sigh, Ignis pulls himself back to his feet, wincing when his knees make it clear they are already becoming affected by the flowers' growth. It's probably a good thing Gladio's not here to see him try to stand. When he comes back to finish sorting the supplies, he's going to have to find some different way of positioning himself lest he find himself the next person Gladio is carrying around.

When he finally makes it into the bedroom, he settles with his back against one wall and then waits for either Gladio or Prompto to begin.

There was a sharp, pained gasp when Gladio initially picked him up. It wasn't Gladio's fault, not really. The flowers made things difficult, and being swept up suddenly made his gorge rise. Through deliberate concentration on his breathing he managed to swallow it back down, but it broke up his conversation. It was hard to concentrate when he felt like puking up his stomach.

"...Thought you two would've wanted to be together," he finally mumbled out weakly. No anger. He just didn't want to be in the way. He stayed silent until he was laid on the bed, laying his arm over his eyes while he caught his breath.

"This whole thing is so fucked up."

The sound Prompto makes when he lifts him tugs at Gladio's heart and he can't help tilting his head to press a soft, reassuring kiss to Prompto's temple. It hurts, seeing him in so much pain, especially Prompto who is usually so energetic, full of laughter and joy, brightening their lives in ways they never knew they needed before him.

"I know, I'm sorry." A quiet murmur as he tries to get the blond settled as comfortably as possible, tucking him into the corner on the bed. They don't have many pillows but he does what he can to cushion the blond and when Iggy finally joins them he clicks his tongue, coaxing Leo to follow so Ignis has something soft and warm to lean against instead of just the hard wall at his back. Only once they are settled along the wall does Gladio gingerly perch on the edge of the bed, testing it briefly, unsure if it will support all the extra weight.

It squeaks a little, bamboo rubbing against the hold of the sinew, but it holds and once he's sure it'll take his weight he stretches out on the bed, propped up on his elbow near Prompto's hip, legs nestled up against Ignis.

"It is... but you know we're here for you Prom." He looks back at Ignis, wiggles his toes gently against one thigh, encouraging him a little. Hopefully. "Just because we're together doesn't mean we're not still here." And he reaches out with the hand not holding him up to hold Prompto's hand in his.

This whole thing is so fucked up.

Though he doesn't say anything aloud, Ignis can't help but agree with Prompto's words completely. It's one thing to be expected to share stories every month. That is an expectation and nothing more. The Storyteller has always given them the choice. This disease gives no choice. It is share all your deepest secrets or else.

Considering what 'or else' is, Ignis should probably be a lot more worried than he is that he's going down that road. Instead of thinking about it, though, he just focuses on the others and helping Prompto specifically.

He can't say he's surprised when Leo suddenly joins him. With a fond sigh--one just as much for the tigerlily as it is for his master--Ignis settled against Leo, his body soaking up as much of the creature's soothing warmth as it can.

"Indeed. There has been a shift in the bond between Gladio and me, but that doesn't mean you are no longer important to us. You are as important as you have ever been, and in case you've forgotten, you have always been very important."

"Yeah... Sometimes, it's just hard to know where my place is anymore," he lamented softly, but realizing how that might sound he added quickly, "Not that you guys did anything wrong! It's just... we were only hanging out 'cause I was friends with Noct. Sometimes I wonder when you guys will get tired of me."

For all the time he hid his feelings, he was capable of expressing them when it got down to it. Once in a while he had a serious, quiet moment with someone he trusted.

Now next to Ignis, he was able to finally finish his journey, pushing himself over to quietly rest his head against Iggy. He wasn't really used to being taken care of while he was sick. He got medicine and all that, but his parents were usually busy and left him to rest at home by himself. For a bit, he wanted to be close to someone.

Even trying to set them up so everyone was touching a little, or could easily, Prompto still took the extra effort, no matter how much pain he was in to cuddle up to Ignis. He'd be lying if he said it didn't sting a little. They were closer, they'd always been closer.

He brings his hands back to himself, not pushing for contact with Prompto if he didn't want it, no matter how much it hurt. Just as he was going to ignore the fact that doing so makes his chest ache in a way it hadn't before, like the tension in Prompto's joints and the tightness in Iggy's chest.

"Kinda... waiting for you two to get tired of me." A soft chuckle, rolling one shoulder. "Or I guess get pissed enough at me that you don't wanna deal any more."

It wouldn't be the first time. "Noct held us together, he was our common ground but... I think we're finding how we fit together? Better, this time anyway." Probably because he's older now and therefore not as much of an angry asshole.

Ignis doesn't respond right away. Instead, he waits silently for Prompto to settle against him and then begins running his hand lightly over the blonde's hair. As much as has been said, so much more has been left unsaid, but how does he get them to speak those things aloud so that they can actually help instead of remaining hidden and feeding the plague that has beset them?

"Perhaps, the first thing we need to do is stop expecting the worst of each other? There are things that have happened or will happen back home because we made bad choices, but here is different. We have the chance to reach out, trust, and bond like we didn't before when Noct's fate was pushing us forward. It's true he brought us together, but we are more than that. We always have been, even if we've not seen it before."

That's as close to admitting anything as Ignis comes because that part definitely applies to him, but it's not just him. Gladio is more just the Shield; Prompto is more than just the Friend, and if they are going to really bond together, they all have to get passed those limited notions.

He let out the softest sigh, because it hurt to breathe deeply. If he could just stay in place for a while it wouldn't hurt so much.

"All of this has been too much like Niflheim," he murmured. "The whole... 'infection' type of stuff. Just numbering people and locking them away. Little kids... You can't just brand little kids and talk about them like they're not a person."

A lot of it was reminiscent of what happened after the train. So much so that he found himself holding back the sniffles. It gave him a headache thinking about it. It was much easier to just bury his face against Ignis.

"Hey..." Soft but insistent and he scoots a little close, reaching out to brush his fingers over Prom's arm. But he stops himself from lingering too much, doesn't push for more. "It's a shit situation, those people deserved better."

A pause and his breath wavers slightly, the faintest wheeze of debris in his chest, because it just... hurts so much to stop himself from reaching out. It's not a lie, there's no words, but it's still stifling. "You deserve better than that, Prom. You're more than that, dude, you always have been."

He has to stop there, clearing his throat slightly, forcing a cough even though nothing wants to come up. His fingers reach out to settle over Ignis' leg, curling in his pants, scared and uncertain. If he can't be the strong one, be their comfort, their protector... then what is he even doing here, intruding on things?

It's not him Prompto wants reassurances from.

"Look if you just... wanna talk to Iggy about this-" He coughs again, for real this time, shakes his head, trying to dismiss it. "It's okay, Prom. I can... get out of your hair." He even tries for making it sound teasing, playful, easier to dismiss. Because it doesn't matter if it hurts or makes him uncomfortable, what's more important is what will make Prompto feel better.

"Gladiolus..." Yes, there is a scold in Ignis' tone, but there is also worry and concern. He's far too familiar with the way this little plague of theirs works--he feels it working on himself hour by hour when he doesn't keep himself busy enough to ignore it--to allow Gladio to walk away now. Not when he's already showing signs of feeling worse from how hard he's burying things inside.

And not when there is that uncertain tug on his pant leg.

Not wanting to move away from Prompto who has so completely attached himself to his side, Ignis nudges Leo until the tigerlily uncurls from his position near him and moves to settle in Gladio's lap instead.

Stay. No leaving.

"Tell him."

Prompto could only respond with confusion, unburying his face for a moment to give Gladio a perplexed look.

"Huh...? Why would I want that? Did I do something?"

Though Iggy couldn't see it, he turned his head back towards him, looking for answers. Iggy would surely know what happened. Already concerned about not being good enough for the guys, now he was worried that he did something to upset them, and the only thing preventing him from being more spastic in his movements were the damned vines.

Leo comes to him and Gladio immediately buries his hands in thick fur, clinging because Leo doesn't mind, Leo doesn't worry about what he's going to do.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, Prom." He shakes his head, nudges Ignis even though he can't see the Look Gladio habitually flashes at him. For a moment he's quiet, burrowing into his lily for reassurance since he can't touch either of them, not right now.

"Was I really that bad?" He doesn't remember it like that. It was always supposed to be playful and fun and Prompto's reactions were so over the top he just... always thought of it as him playing back.

"I... didn't mean to be an asshole, y'know. Most of the time." There were definitely some moments where he was straight up being a dick. But...

"Fuck, Prom, it's like you expect me to do something mean every time I touch you."

For a moment, Ignis is sorely tempted to grab both of them by the ear and knock their heads together until they stop being so thickheaded. What did he just say about not assuming the worst? Still, the urge is fleeting since he knows it takes more than one statement to undo years of worries about what another person thinks of them.

"Please, just stop this. Stop dancing around the issue and say it. It's not going to help either of you if I say it for you," Ignis has no question about this. This secret is not his to tell. It's not what is hurting him. It's what's hurting Gladio; it's what's twisting those vines ever deeper into his body. "Gladio, just tell him why that bothers you so much. Prompto, just listen and stop assuming you did everything wrong."

His tone is short by the time he finishes, but it's not because he's angry. Ignis is worried and frustrated. Not to mention tired and in pain. He just wants them on the road to mending their hearts and minds before he rests. It's just hard with his own secrets feeding the plague inside of him, tearing him apart even as he struggles to put them back together.

Moving around hurt him, but he let go of Ignis to push himself up slightly. He really wasn't sure what was going on because he didn't think he said anything bad to Gladio. It was hard to stop wondering what he did, even if Ignis said he didn't do anything.

"What...? I don't think you're going to hurt me," he sounded more exasperated than he meant, just because breathing was difficult. "Dude. I trust you with my life."

And it was true enough. He knew Gladio would die for all of them, even if Noct was the main event. Breath still a bit heavy, he murmured softly, "I mean, the pushing isn't cool, though..."

It was something he never really brought up for various reasons. One, he just wanted the guys to get back together and stop fighting. Two, Gladio could be kind of intimidating, especially when he was mad. Three, he would've felt weak complaining about something like that. Crownsguard didn't whine about getting shoved. He didn't want people to look down on him.

"Thanks a lot, Igs." Grumbled under his breath and another nudge, this one genuinely annoyed.

"Yeah with your life but nothing else." And he sighs too, squeezing a little too hard, making Leo sit up and reposition himself a little. "Sorry, buddy."

"I put my arm around your shoulders and you flinch, dude. It's like you constantly think I'm going to put you in a headlock or give you a noogie." Which he'd done plenty, sure, but not every time. "Like you think you can't come to me with any of the serious shit because I'm going to be an ass about it or something. So yeah it's all well and good you trust me in battle but you don't outside of it. and..."

"Well yeah, that fucking hurts. Hell I carried you in here and you immediately pulled away so you could cuddle Ignis instead. So it kinda seems like you'd rather just talk to Iggy and I'm in the way of you feeling better." He sighs heavily, leaning on Leo more than cuddling him now, one hand still busy sliding through the lily's fur, stopping himself from gesturing too much or tensing up too badly. There's more to be said, there's that push to be acknowledged but he has to take a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I know the pushing wasn't cool. I still feel bad for that. You didn't deserve it. But you were an easier target than Noct and I was pissed off and so jealous of you I couldn't bear to fucking look at you."

Gladio's annoyed grumble hurts more than Ignis anticipated, but he pushes the pain away even as it tries to grow heavy in his chest. He doesn't like that he had to push so hard, but they are talking now and he would rather they be angry at him and alive than the alternative. Sending Leo to sit with Gladio had possibly been a bad idea, though, because once Prompto pulls away and he and Gladio begin talking in earnest, Ignis suddenly finds himself feeling adrift and alone, no longer part of the group. His work is done; he's not needed here anymore.

Was this how he felt on the train? An outsider? For a different reason, of course. Newly blinded. A liability to the team. His sacrifice leading to splintering of his little family instead of keeping it together.

Now, he's the only one who hasn't lived this moment. Oh, Ignis has heard enough about it now that he can almost imagine he has, but he hasn't and it separates him from Gladio and Prompto. Still the farthest behind. Still unable to do anything despite that.

He doesn't realize it, but at some point Ignis falls completely into his own mind. He stops hearing the conversation. Stops feeling when Gladio and Prompto shift positions. Stops knowing either of them are even there, really. It's only when he feels sharp pains through his hands that he realizes he's balled them into fists and the disease ridden joints are protesting.

Hoping neither Prompto nor Gladio have noticed his little slip, he flattens his hands again, forcing himself to relax, head turning slightly back and forth to at least give the impression he's listening and following along. It's taken so much to get them talking that he won't forgive himself if he does something to distract them.

He pursed his lips. So he did do something wrong. He hadn't meant any of it, just reacting in the moment without thought.

He was never as forceful when it came to self-defense, so he hesitated. Really, he just wanted Gladio to know that he didn't mean it like that.

"I didn't think Ignis would care if I snotted on him... Not that I thought he'd like it, but I thought he wouldn't mind as much..." Taken off guard, he didn't know what to say in response. He hadn't been trying to hurt anyone. If anything, he wanted to avoid making himself a burden, and tried to lessen how detrimental he was. He didn't know how to answer any of this that didn't sound like arguing. He eyes turned down, brows furrowed as he shook his head before finally reaching over Iggy.

"Damnit." He nearly whispered the word, frustrated. "Just get over here."

If Gladio thought he was scared, maybe the best way to show him he wasn't was just to be close or something. It ached to stretch his arm that far, and hindered him from reaching all the way over while he carefully balanced on an arm to keep from falling on top of Iggy.

Iggy's quiet, which is worrisome, but Prompto is just... confusing and he's still trying to figure out what the hell that even means. He shifts a little and Leo gets fed up with the lot of them and their moving and tugging and slinks off the bed like the drama queen he is. He does lay his head on the mattress on Ignis' far side, slowly licking at one clenched fist. If he has to he will move up to mouthing at his hand.

It's a sign. It's one Gladio should catch.

He doesn't.

Not when he's shimmying over to shove himself in against Prom's other side, offering his arm for the blond to be able to curl in against him if he wants. And whether he cuddles into him or not Gladio still strokes a hand over his hair and leans over to drop a light kiss to Prompto's head. "Just worried about you, dude."

If there's nothing for him to fight then clearly he needs something to else physical to do. Just let him hold you Prom.

When Prompto leans over him, Ignis gives his arm a gentle squeeze of encouragement. A small smile breaks up his stern expression, but there is a strange distance to it even as he softly speaks, "See now. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

It sounds like one of his normal jokes, but much like the smile, there is something just slightly off about it. No one really catches on, though. No one aside from one well-trained--perhaps too well-trained in Ignis' opinion--tigerlily. He relaxes the hand that Leo's licking, stretching sore fingers to brush over the fur on his snout. When that doesn't seem like enough, he slides back a little from Prompto and Gladio, preemptively gathering Leo's head into his lap before someone picks up on the signals.

If it gives him an excuse to add physical distance to mental, well no one needs to know that. No one besides he and Leo.

"Rather a cute ending, isn't it?" Ignis whispers the words into Leo's ears as he ruffles them and attempts to ignore the sudden empty drop in his stomach. No one else will be able to hear the comment, but Leo makes it clear he's not entirely pleased with how sardonic and sad the words are by rumbling lowly before setting his tongue to work on Ignis' face.

Ignis bites back on the soft, startled sound caused by the sudden onslaught. He pushes Leo's head away for a moment, only to sigh and settle back against the tigerlily a few seconds later.

"Hush, lets not bother them. They have a lot to work out."

Curling up wasn't going well for him at the moment. Instead, he fell backwards with a thud, lying facing the ceiling. A soft huff escaped his lips. The less he tried to work his limbs the better. Maybe he was feeling a little bit better, but it still hurt. His eyes closed lightly when Gladio dipped in for a kiss to the forehead. A little weird. His parents hadn't even really done that, but he wasn't complaining.

"You don't have to worry about me so much. I'm not, like, mad at people."

He usually wasn't. Even if he was upset it didn't tend to go outwards. When he was mad at someone, it usually meant something extremely serious had happened. He had good reason to be wary of Ardyn. He had good reason to be mad at Laurent before. None of it had been petty.

Using Gladio's arm as a pillow, he pulled his arms up to rest on his stomach, trying to get comfortable.

"I guess it's been a little weird. Iggy and I have been out here so long together... We've been waiting to have everyone back together again, but I don't think we ever thought it would happen like this. Everyone from totally different times..." he frowned a second. "Maybe different worlds? ...But, even if we are, I still wanna be friends."

He hesitates for a moment, looking down towards the foot of the bed, Leo's behavior, even with Iggy murmuring at him, was unusual and it made him worried. And then Prompto is flopped over on his arm and Gladio just... wraps himself around the blond. His own hand rests on Prom's belly, just below his arms, lazy casual touches, just having the reassuring contact of Prompto against him eases so much of his worry.

"That's like telling me not to worry about Noct." He sighs softly, lets his hands drift to the side to poke playfully at Prompto's side. "I wanna keep you safe just as much as I do Noct and Igs... maybe more cause you weren't born into this shit, you chose to be here. And if anything being from different times, being from... so far back in the story just... makes that urge stronger."

His arm curls around Prompto, tugging him a little closer, squeezing him lightly. "Things go so bad... I can't stop that... but I dunno maybe here I can make sure neither one of you have to go through the same shit."

He didn't fight, letting himself be enveloped by a mountain. His stomach twitched slightly in response - he wasn't used to being touched there - but he otherwise mostly stayed in place and seemed to be trying to relax now that things were finally calming down.

"...We wanna stop shit from happening, too. 'm not sure how. I still had toget get back to you guys, back home, but once I do that, we could always change what we do."

It took him back to those days. Around a year ago now. Ready to drive through the snow to get back to them, and get away from that godforsaken facility. Unconsciously he rubbed at his wrist to double check for the bracelet he'd been missing while he was there.

"Don't worry." His hand settles over Prompto's on his wrist, stilling the nervous habit, idly wondering if he shouldn't ask Leo to start doing that to. "We'll always find you, Prom. I swear it. We'll always come back for you."

He's not sure if he should tell Prompto what happens, how messed up things get. He doesn't even know the full details of how he got to the Keep. But telling him that now would only make it worse wouldn't it?

"Just remember that, okay?" And he leans in again to nuzzle Prompto's hair. Probably crossing so many lines into uncomfortable territory but he also can't stop himself from being affectionate with him while he has this opportunity.

It was the most intimate he'd ever been with Gladio - or anyone, for that matter. Maybe Iggy and Noct were pretty close, but there hadn't been a lot of nuzzling into his hair. He pushed aside wondering if it was strange and let himself melt into it a bit. He was already feeling bad enough without getting panicky over everything, he just wanted to relax a while.

"...Thanks." It was a relief to know that he wouldn't be abandoned. He stilled his nervous hand and just let it be. "Did... Did I show you guys? When I got back?"

He was no Light Yagami. He couldn't predict what his actions would be for weeks to come. He hardly even planned five minutes ahead. Though he planned on telling them the truth, he had no idea whether or not he'd have shown that off.

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