lifeaftr | The Saddening

Entry tags:

The Saddening

Who: Prompto, Chocobros, OTA
What: Event catchall for Prompto stuff
When: Over the duration of the event
Where: Mostly around the chocobro house
Warnings: Angst, pain, sad saps, sickness, potentially very poorly done confessions to girls. Dates may vary depending on what happens over the event.

August 6~7 - Running off - Chocobros
Prompto messily scrawled the words on a piece of wood using chalk from the noticeboard.

"Going to help unbury people. I'm fine."

The piece of wood was left at their house when no one was there and he snuck off. As soon as he started showing symptoms he knew he had to do something. He couldn't get Ignis or Gladio sick, but he didn't want them to worry about him. He couldn't live with himself if something happened to the guys because of him.

At first his intentions were true. He figured he might as well go help with the new people. That changed quickly as his symptons worsened. It felt like he was getting hit by a fever, and he decided to take a detour instead, looking for some small bit of cover that he could hide under and curl up. He'd really rather be snuggled up in a bed. His mind wandered off, thinking of all the cozy hotel rooms they used to stay in, all curled up in blankets. The best he had for now was his winter coat, which was at least warm if nothing else.

August 10~11 - Confessions - Chocobros
After being dragged back home and spending much of the time trying to become one with the few scrappy blankets they had, they had eventually learned that honesty was a cure. How did that even work? He half wondered if it was a bad joke. He didn't really think of himself as dishonest. He might put up a front or hide, but he was just trying to help his friends. He wasn't trying to be bad.

There was a lot he hid, of course, and he didn't even know where to begin. What would he have to say to make the sickness go away? Rather than sit up, he stayed curled up on the ground of their 'living room' of sorts, using one of the pillows they had from the tent as a headrest. He wasn't the big tough guy. He handled illness like a big baby - but at least a mostly quiet one. If he had a plush he would have happily been hugging it.

His eyes lazily followed the going-on's while he remained mostly silent, until he finally confessed quietly, "'m glad I'm home."

August 12~15 - Confessions - Girls
Sitting out by the water, Prompto half wondered if it would be easier to stay quiet and die rather than be open and honest to everyone. On the best of days he had trouble talking to girls, and they tended to travel in packs which was scary and intimidating. In his mind it was so easy - just tell the girls that he thought were pretty that he thought they were pretty. In practice he might have an easier time trying to digest a pile of dirt. Rejection was a lot more tolerable when he didn't take it seriously.

It didn't help that he found most girls his age attractive. It wasn't as if he even stuck that strictly to his own age - Iris had been 16, and Aranea had been 30. It wasn't his fault all girls were so damn pretty. It was unfair! The odds were stacked against him from the start.

He noticably tensed whenever a girl neared him, fearing confessing to them more than death itself. Moreso than usual. If he was rejected this time, it was really him they'd be rejecting. He couldn't dare to actually approach, so he sat by the water, choking back the symptoms of the illness while he skipped some rocks.

August 12~15 - Confessions - OTA
Prompto tended to keep negative feelings to himself. He didn't like to insult people, didn't like confrontation and didn't like to hurt anyone. Even when he was in pain he resisted. He wasn't the type to lash out.

Which made the whole honesty thing that much harder. He might end up burning a few bridges. Because of hurty limbs and overall aching, he stayed near the house with his back pressed up to a wall. He stayed mostly reserved, but he wouldn't ignore anyone who approached.

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Prompto could only respond with confusion, unburying his face for a moment to give Gladio a perplexed look.

"Huh...? Why would I want that? Did I do something?"

Though Iggy couldn't see it, he turned his head back towards him, looking for answers. Iggy would surely know what happened. Already concerned about not being good enough for the guys, now he was worried that he did something to upset them, and the only thing preventing him from being more spastic in his movements were the damned vines.

Leo comes to him and Gladio immediately buries his hands in thick fur, clinging because Leo doesn't mind, Leo doesn't worry about what he's going to do.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, Prom." He shakes his head, nudges Ignis even though he can't see the Look Gladio habitually flashes at him. For a moment he's quiet, burrowing into his lily for reassurance since he can't touch either of them, not right now.

"Was I really that bad?" He doesn't remember it like that. It was always supposed to be playful and fun and Prompto's reactions were so over the top he just... always thought of it as him playing back.

"I... didn't mean to be an asshole, y'know. Most of the time." There were definitely some moments where he was straight up being a dick. But...

"Fuck, Prom, it's like you expect me to do something mean every time I touch you."

For a moment, Ignis is sorely tempted to grab both of them by the ear and knock their heads together until they stop being so thickheaded. What did he just say about not assuming the worst? Still, the urge is fleeting since he knows it takes more than one statement to undo years of worries about what another person thinks of them.

"Please, just stop this. Stop dancing around the issue and say it. It's not going to help either of you if I say it for you," Ignis has no question about this. This secret is not his to tell. It's not what is hurting him. It's what's hurting Gladio; it's what's twisting those vines ever deeper into his body. "Gladio, just tell him why that bothers you so much. Prompto, just listen and stop assuming you did everything wrong."

His tone is short by the time he finishes, but it's not because he's angry. Ignis is worried and frustrated. Not to mention tired and in pain. He just wants them on the road to mending their hearts and minds before he rests. It's just hard with his own secrets feeding the plague inside of him, tearing him apart even as he struggles to put them back together.

Moving around hurt him, but he let go of Ignis to push himself up slightly. He really wasn't sure what was going on because he didn't think he said anything bad to Gladio. It was hard to stop wondering what he did, even if Ignis said he didn't do anything.

"What...? I don't think you're going to hurt me," he sounded more exasperated than he meant, just because breathing was difficult. "Dude. I trust you with my life."

And it was true enough. He knew Gladio would die for all of them, even if Noct was the main event. Breath still a bit heavy, he murmured softly, "I mean, the pushing isn't cool, though..."

It was something he never really brought up for various reasons. One, he just wanted the guys to get back together and stop fighting. Two, Gladio could be kind of intimidating, especially when he was mad. Three, he would've felt weak complaining about something like that. Crownsguard didn't whine about getting shoved. He didn't want people to look down on him.

"Thanks a lot, Igs." Grumbled under his breath and another nudge, this one genuinely annoyed.

"Yeah with your life but nothing else." And he sighs too, squeezing a little too hard, making Leo sit up and reposition himself a little. "Sorry, buddy."

"I put my arm around your shoulders and you flinch, dude. It's like you constantly think I'm going to put you in a headlock or give you a noogie." Which he'd done plenty, sure, but not every time. "Like you think you can't come to me with any of the serious shit because I'm going to be an ass about it or something. So yeah it's all well and good you trust me in battle but you don't outside of it. and..."

"Well yeah, that fucking hurts. Hell I carried you in here and you immediately pulled away so you could cuddle Ignis instead. So it kinda seems like you'd rather just talk to Iggy and I'm in the way of you feeling better." He sighs heavily, leaning on Leo more than cuddling him now, one hand still busy sliding through the lily's fur, stopping himself from gesturing too much or tensing up too badly. There's more to be said, there's that push to be acknowledged but he has to take a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I know the pushing wasn't cool. I still feel bad for that. You didn't deserve it. But you were an easier target than Noct and I was pissed off and so jealous of you I couldn't bear to fucking look at you."

Gladio's annoyed grumble hurts more than Ignis anticipated, but he pushes the pain away even as it tries to grow heavy in his chest. He doesn't like that he had to push so hard, but they are talking now and he would rather they be angry at him and alive than the alternative. Sending Leo to sit with Gladio had possibly been a bad idea, though, because once Prompto pulls away and he and Gladio begin talking in earnest, Ignis suddenly finds himself feeling adrift and alone, no longer part of the group. His work is done; he's not needed here anymore.

Was this how he felt on the train? An outsider? For a different reason, of course. Newly blinded. A liability to the team. His sacrifice leading to splintering of his little family instead of keeping it together.

Now, he's the only one who hasn't lived this moment. Oh, Ignis has heard enough about it now that he can almost imagine he has, but he hasn't and it separates him from Gladio and Prompto. Still the farthest behind. Still unable to do anything despite that.

He doesn't realize it, but at some point Ignis falls completely into his own mind. He stops hearing the conversation. Stops feeling when Gladio and Prompto shift positions. Stops knowing either of them are even there, really. It's only when he feels sharp pains through his hands that he realizes he's balled them into fists and the disease ridden joints are protesting.

Hoping neither Prompto nor Gladio have noticed his little slip, he flattens his hands again, forcing himself to relax, head turning slightly back and forth to at least give the impression he's listening and following along. It's taken so much to get them talking that he won't forgive himself if he does something to distract them.

He pursed his lips. So he did do something wrong. He hadn't meant any of it, just reacting in the moment without thought.

He was never as forceful when it came to self-defense, so he hesitated. Really, he just wanted Gladio to know that he didn't mean it like that.

"I didn't think Ignis would care if I snotted on him... Not that I thought he'd like it, but I thought he wouldn't mind as much..." Taken off guard, he didn't know what to say in response. He hadn't been trying to hurt anyone. If anything, he wanted to avoid making himself a burden, and tried to lessen how detrimental he was. He didn't know how to answer any of this that didn't sound like arguing. He eyes turned down, brows furrowed as he shook his head before finally reaching over Iggy.

"Damnit." He nearly whispered the word, frustrated. "Just get over here."

If Gladio thought he was scared, maybe the best way to show him he wasn't was just to be close or something. It ached to stretch his arm that far, and hindered him from reaching all the way over while he carefully balanced on an arm to keep from falling on top of Iggy.

Iggy's quiet, which is worrisome, but Prompto is just... confusing and he's still trying to figure out what the hell that even means. He shifts a little and Leo gets fed up with the lot of them and their moving and tugging and slinks off the bed like the drama queen he is. He does lay his head on the mattress on Ignis' far side, slowly licking at one clenched fist. If he has to he will move up to mouthing at his hand.

It's a sign. It's one Gladio should catch.

He doesn't.

Not when he's shimmying over to shove himself in against Prom's other side, offering his arm for the blond to be able to curl in against him if he wants. And whether he cuddles into him or not Gladio still strokes a hand over his hair and leans over to drop a light kiss to Prompto's head. "Just worried about you, dude."

If there's nothing for him to fight then clearly he needs something to else physical to do. Just let him hold you Prom.

When Prompto leans over him, Ignis gives his arm a gentle squeeze of encouragement. A small smile breaks up his stern expression, but there is a strange distance to it even as he softly speaks, "See now. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

It sounds like one of his normal jokes, but much like the smile, there is something just slightly off about it. No one really catches on, though. No one aside from one well-trained--perhaps too well-trained in Ignis' opinion--tigerlily. He relaxes the hand that Leo's licking, stretching sore fingers to brush over the fur on his snout. When that doesn't seem like enough, he slides back a little from Prompto and Gladio, preemptively gathering Leo's head into his lap before someone picks up on the signals.

If it gives him an excuse to add physical distance to mental, well no one needs to know that. No one besides he and Leo.

"Rather a cute ending, isn't it?" Ignis whispers the words into Leo's ears as he ruffles them and attempts to ignore the sudden empty drop in his stomach. No one else will be able to hear the comment, but Leo makes it clear he's not entirely pleased with how sardonic and sad the words are by rumbling lowly before setting his tongue to work on Ignis' face.

Ignis bites back on the soft, startled sound caused by the sudden onslaught. He pushes Leo's head away for a moment, only to sigh and settle back against the tigerlily a few seconds later.

"Hush, lets not bother them. They have a lot to work out."

Curling up wasn't going well for him at the moment. Instead, he fell backwards with a thud, lying facing the ceiling. A soft huff escaped his lips. The less he tried to work his limbs the better. Maybe he was feeling a little bit better, but it still hurt. His eyes closed lightly when Gladio dipped in for a kiss to the forehead. A little weird. His parents hadn't even really done that, but he wasn't complaining.

"You don't have to worry about me so much. I'm not, like, mad at people."

He usually wasn't. Even if he was upset it didn't tend to go outwards. When he was mad at someone, it usually meant something extremely serious had happened. He had good reason to be wary of Ardyn. He had good reason to be mad at Laurent before. None of it had been petty.

Using Gladio's arm as a pillow, he pulled his arms up to rest on his stomach, trying to get comfortable.

"I guess it's been a little weird. Iggy and I have been out here so long together... We've been waiting to have everyone back together again, but I don't think we ever thought it would happen like this. Everyone from totally different times..." he frowned a second. "Maybe different worlds? ...But, even if we are, I still wanna be friends."

He hesitates for a moment, looking down towards the foot of the bed, Leo's behavior, even with Iggy murmuring at him, was unusual and it made him worried. And then Prompto is flopped over on his arm and Gladio just... wraps himself around the blond. His own hand rests on Prom's belly, just below his arms, lazy casual touches, just having the reassuring contact of Prompto against him eases so much of his worry.

"That's like telling me not to worry about Noct." He sighs softly, lets his hands drift to the side to poke playfully at Prompto's side. "I wanna keep you safe just as much as I do Noct and Igs... maybe more cause you weren't born into this shit, you chose to be here. And if anything being from different times, being from... so far back in the story just... makes that urge stronger."

His arm curls around Prompto, tugging him a little closer, squeezing him lightly. "Things go so bad... I can't stop that... but I dunno maybe here I can make sure neither one of you have to go through the same shit."

He didn't fight, letting himself be enveloped by a mountain. His stomach twitched slightly in response - he wasn't used to being touched there - but he otherwise mostly stayed in place and seemed to be trying to relax now that things were finally calming down.

"...We wanna stop shit from happening, too. 'm not sure how. I still had toget get back to you guys, back home, but once I do that, we could always change what we do."

It took him back to those days. Around a year ago now. Ready to drive through the snow to get back to them, and get away from that godforsaken facility. Unconsciously he rubbed at his wrist to double check for the bracelet he'd been missing while he was there.

"Don't worry." His hand settles over Prompto's on his wrist, stilling the nervous habit, idly wondering if he shouldn't ask Leo to start doing that to. "We'll always find you, Prom. I swear it. We'll always come back for you."

He's not sure if he should tell Prompto what happens, how messed up things get. He doesn't even know the full details of how he got to the Keep. But telling him that now would only make it worse wouldn't it?

"Just remember that, okay?" And he leans in again to nuzzle Prompto's hair. Probably crossing so many lines into uncomfortable territory but he also can't stop himself from being affectionate with him while he has this opportunity.

It was the most intimate he'd ever been with Gladio - or anyone, for that matter. Maybe Iggy and Noct were pretty close, but there hadn't been a lot of nuzzling into his hair. He pushed aside wondering if it was strange and let himself melt into it a bit. He was already feeling bad enough without getting panicky over everything, he just wanted to relax a while.

"...Thanks." It was a relief to know that he wouldn't be abandoned. He stilled his nervous hand and just let it be. "Did... Did I show you guys? When I got back?"

He was no Light Yagami. He couldn't predict what his actions would be for weeks to come. He hardly even planned five minutes ahead. Though he planned on telling them the truth, he had no idea whether or not he'd have shown that off.

He had a duty to Noctis and part of that was pushing him, not letting him laze around and put off what he needed to be doing. That meant not coddling him. Ignis was loathe to let anyone see him be weak and that was as much true now as it had been when they were kids, when he'd been a shoulder to lean on when the job threatened to be too much. He'd never had time to really be able to just look after Prompto, not when there was so much else going on.

When there'd finally been time... they'd all been so angry and hurt and he'd been in no condition to look after himself let alone anyone else.

"You did... helped us sneak in to take down the emperor." He keeps his hand over Prom's, rubs his thumb gently over the wristband he wears. "Of course he was a full blown daemon by then." He flinches, looks away...

"And Ravus."

"He was?"

Of course he didn't know the full story of what was coming. The Emperor had always been this big bad, leader of the Empire that they had to face. Somehow he had faded in the background on their journey. Hardly worth even talking about. Pursing his lips, he glanced over his shoulder a bit. "Ravus was executed, wasn't he?"

He didn't have the same connection to Ravus as the others would, but he still at least knew of him. Had seen him. And had heard the reports on the radio.

"That's... complicated." And this time when Gladio nuzzles into Prom's shoulder it's because he doesn't want to think about the thing that had been Ravus. "He was but he was also infected."

"You know... you don't have to cover it up." Still just running his thumb over where he knows the barcode is, fighting down the urge to press a soothing kiss to that spot. That's a whole different bundle of issues. Which means they should still probably talk about it but not right this moment.

He got the feeling it was better not to ask. Thinking about how many people they had met who were gone was difficult. He was just supposed to be going to his friend's wedding and meeting a hot girl. Why did all hell have to break loose?

His eyes turned down to his thankfully covered up barcode.

"...Iggy got some tattoo stuff. So we could cover it up, maybe. But I don't know anyone who knows how to do tattoos here, and I don't want anyone to know about it unless I'm sure." Taking in a short breath, he tried to laugh it off a bit. "I figured it wouldn't be a good idea to let Iggy do it."

That has his brows lifting, gaze flickering down to the end of the bed where Ignis was distracting himself with Leo.

"I didn't know that." A soft sigh. "I know I'm not the most graceful or anything but... I could do it if you wanted. I did Iggy's glowy designs?" He tries to shrug, one shouldered and awkward.

"I mean I get it if you don't want me to do it. And I wouldn't do something stupid like draw a dick on your arm, okay. I promise. Maybe with marker but not-" He shakes his head, grumbling under his breath.

"Not trying to think the worst of you or whatever just acknowledging how I am. Was... I like to think it's was now, anyway."

"You know how to do it?"

Gladio had tattoos, but getting them was different from doing them.

"I didn't think you'd do something like that. That'd be kinda beyond dickish... I'll pretend I meant that pun." Gladio picked on him with noogies, and Prompto sometimes earned them by antagonizing him, but leaving permanent marks, especially somewhere that was already sensitive for Prompto? That was far beyond what Gladio had ever done to him. That would just be being an asshole.

"I know enough theory, depending on what kind of equipment Igs got. I mean... I was so geeked out for my eagle. I spent months before my birthday psyching myself up for it, watching videos and shit." His hand finally drifts from Prompto's wrist to trace over his own, the dark inked feathers arching over his forearm.

"As long as there's enough supplies I'll test it on myself first, make sure I'm not going to screw something up but... I'm pretty sure I could manage it." Then he brings his hand back up to Prompto's wrist, fingering the leather band that always lived there, slowly, carefully touching the clasp.

"Can I?"

"I think we were pretty limited on supplies. We'll have to check how much ink there is."

Because if he could do something, he wanted to. If he couldn't burn the damn thing off, maybe he could at least hide it. Permanently.

Despite already being stiff because of the illness, his body noticably tensed when Gladio touched the clasp. Atrals knew that Prompto safeguarded it more than his virginity.

But, Gladio should have already seen it by now. Still nervous, as if someone might break into their home and see it somehow, he cautiously answered, "Yeah. I mean... Yeah, you can."

Gladio nods. He'll probably just do something tiny and simple on his ankle or something to test it before he puts a needle to Prompto's skin. Just enough to get a feel for it so he can do it without hurting him any more than is necessary.

The fact that Gladio can feel him tense up, even with how much he hurts and how safe they are here, is a huge testament to how much trust Prompto is giving him. This is him at his most vulnerable... but he's willing to let Gladio see it and that eases every fear and uncertainty that's plagued him for years in a single moment. His fingers fumble on the clasp, trying to do it one handed, before he finally manages to get it to let go, unwinding the leather.

He wears it so much that even Prompto's pale, pale skin is a notable shade or two darker than the ghostly white band around his wrist. So impossibly pale against Gladio's deep bronze. "This?" A soft, gentle rumble as he turns the blond's wrist in his hand, drawing it up slowly, thumb resting lightly beside that awful bit of ink until Gladio finally throws caution and restraint out the window, pressing the softest kiss against delicate skin. He doesn't care that the mark is there, what's important is that it's Prompto.

"Doesn't change this." And he lets his hand slide away to settle on Prom's chest, over his heart. "You're still you, Prom. You always will be."

Just the feel of air on his skin there left a strange sensation behind. He wore the band 24/7, even as a child, so he felt naked without it on. It also left the skin a bit soft since it was always protected. His natural instincts screamed at him to hide it, just as much as most would want to hide their privates, suppressing his nerves as Gladio inspected his wrist and then pulled it up to his mouth.

"Y-Yeah..." he answered as if he wanted to be self-assured, but he wasn't, and gently pulled his wrist back down to rub lightly at it. "Feel a bit like I'm going commando here. Heh."

Gladio doesn't resist in the slightest when Prompto takes his wrist back. That's not going to do anything to make him feel better about the situation. Prompto doesn't quite manage the 'self-assured' tone he was going for but the words make Gladio laugh, anyway, a muffled snort and he flashes a grin down at him.

"If you can manage it, leaving the bracelet off now and then would probably be a good idea. I'm sure it's really sensitive and... well tattoos hurt, it'll be worse if you're hyper sensitive there." He's not really expecting it to happen but the suggestion is there nonetheless.

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I'm sorry he's such a sap

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