lifeaftr | The Saddening

Entry tags:

The Saddening

Who: Prompto, Chocobros, OTA
What: Event catchall for Prompto stuff
When: Over the duration of the event
Where: Mostly around the chocobro house
Warnings: Angst, pain, sad saps, sickness, potentially very poorly done confessions to girls. Dates may vary depending on what happens over the event.

August 6~7 - Running off - Chocobros
Prompto messily scrawled the words on a piece of wood using chalk from the noticeboard.

"Going to help unbury people. I'm fine."

The piece of wood was left at their house when no one was there and he snuck off. As soon as he started showing symptoms he knew he had to do something. He couldn't get Ignis or Gladio sick, but he didn't want them to worry about him. He couldn't live with himself if something happened to the guys because of him.

At first his intentions were true. He figured he might as well go help with the new people. That changed quickly as his symptons worsened. It felt like he was getting hit by a fever, and he decided to take a detour instead, looking for some small bit of cover that he could hide under and curl up. He'd really rather be snuggled up in a bed. His mind wandered off, thinking of all the cozy hotel rooms they used to stay in, all curled up in blankets. The best he had for now was his winter coat, which was at least warm if nothing else.

August 10~11 - Confessions - Chocobros
After being dragged back home and spending much of the time trying to become one with the few scrappy blankets they had, they had eventually learned that honesty was a cure. How did that even work? He half wondered if it was a bad joke. He didn't really think of himself as dishonest. He might put up a front or hide, but he was just trying to help his friends. He wasn't trying to be bad.

There was a lot he hid, of course, and he didn't even know where to begin. What would he have to say to make the sickness go away? Rather than sit up, he stayed curled up on the ground of their 'living room' of sorts, using one of the pillows they had from the tent as a headrest. He wasn't the big tough guy. He handled illness like a big baby - but at least a mostly quiet one. If he had a plush he would have happily been hugging it.

His eyes lazily followed the going-on's while he remained mostly silent, until he finally confessed quietly, "'m glad I'm home."

August 12~15 - Confessions - Girls
Sitting out by the water, Prompto half wondered if it would be easier to stay quiet and die rather than be open and honest to everyone. On the best of days he had trouble talking to girls, and they tended to travel in packs which was scary and intimidating. In his mind it was so easy - just tell the girls that he thought were pretty that he thought they were pretty. In practice he might have an easier time trying to digest a pile of dirt. Rejection was a lot more tolerable when he didn't take it seriously.

It didn't help that he found most girls his age attractive. It wasn't as if he even stuck that strictly to his own age - Iris had been 16, and Aranea had been 30. It wasn't his fault all girls were so damn pretty. It was unfair! The odds were stacked against him from the start.

He noticably tensed whenever a girl neared him, fearing confessing to them more than death itself. Moreso than usual. If he was rejected this time, it was really him they'd be rejecting. He couldn't dare to actually approach, so he sat by the water, choking back the symptoms of the illness while he skipped some rocks.

August 12~15 - Confessions - OTA
Prompto tended to keep negative feelings to himself. He didn't like to insult people, didn't like confrontation and didn't like to hurt anyone. Even when he was in pain he resisted. He wasn't the type to lash out.

Which made the whole honesty thing that much harder. He might end up burning a few bridges. Because of hurty limbs and overall aching, he stayed near the house with his back pressed up to a wall. He stayed mostly reserved, but he wouldn't ignore anyone who approached.

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"I-I..." Damnit, why did honesty have to be so important right now? He spoke slowly and deliberately as he tried to respond somehow. "I... don't know what to say to that."

Which, for what it was worth, was true enough. He had no idea what to say or do. Damnit, where was Noct when he needed him? Gently, he pulled Gladio's hand slightly away from his cheek.

"Look, can we talk about this later? I... don't know what to do with that."

Plus Iggy was like, right there, and who was he even going to talk to? He couldn't talk to Gladio about how apprehensive he felt about this, and Iggy was in a relationship with him so it'd just be weird to talk about it with Iggy. He was going to have a lot of words to say to Noct about ditching him when he got back. Who else was he supposed to talk to? Ardyn??

Maybe there was someone else he could find who he could bounce thoughts off of, but for right now he was completely overwhelmed.

Gladio took a deep breath, nodded slightly.

"Okay..." Of course it was okay, he couldn't force the issue, especially if Prompto was uncomfortable. "I'm sorry if... I just made things really weird. You know you can ask me anything you need to, though, yeah?" Surely Prompto know that much. If he wants to hear any of Gladdy's reasoning, any of the whys or hows or what the fucks all he has to do is ask.

It wasn't the outcome he meant to happen, though he knew it could. He glances back down to Iggy too, bites his lip for a moment, and then sits up properly. Carefully, gently, because he knows Leo is trying his damnedest to keep Iggy grounded but is probably only partially succeeding Gladio sets his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, squeezes gently, gives him a little time to come back to himself a bit.

"And I kissed you, Prom, so if Iggy's going to be mad at anyone it's me, okay?" Another gentle squeeze. "Right, Spark?"

To his credit, Ignis has tried to follow at least some of the conversation. Unfortunately, ever so often some phrase or tone of voice causes that empty feeling to spike and he finds himself drifting again. At one point, he does realize how silly it all is. He told Gladio before--and meant it--that he is okay with the Shield having feelings for Prompto. After all, he can hardly say anything when he has his own feelings for Ardyn.

And yet, for some reason, right now the whole thing is just making him feel less and less needed. Ignis would blame the flowers, if he didn't know that they are a reaction to hidden truths, not the causer of bad feelings and doubts.

Gladio's first nudge before he kisses Prompto does pull Ignis back some, but only enough to register it happens before he's drifting away again. This really isn't right. He should be fighting it harder or saying something to someone, but he can't bring himself to disrupt the progress Prompto and Gladio are making.

"I'm not mad at anyone." Astrals, the words sound as if they are coming out so slowly to him. Do they sound that way to the others? Ignis certainly hopes not, "It would be quite hypocritical of me to deny Gladio the same freedom to pursue whatever the two of you decide you wish this to be when he has allowed me to pursue Ardyn however I wish to."

He wanted to lay back and look as dead as he felt. With the stiff limbs and trouble breathing, physical exertion was something he wanted to avoid. But, in some ways, he felt like they needed him right now. He needed to make things right. Somehow. He didn't know how. Iggy sounded bad, and things were messed up.

He painstakingly propped himself up on his elbow and pushed himself up in what took far too long of a time. The stiff movements and tense muscles were a good indication that it was from the flowers.

"Iggy..." he groaned slightly, but settled down after he stayed in place for a second. "...'m not mad at anyone, or anything. 'N nothing's happening. Even if something was gonna happen, it wouldn't be some kit for kat thing. I'd never do anything that'd hurt you, it doesn't matter if it would 'make things even' or whatever." He glanced at Gladio. "I'm sure Gladio feels the same way."

If moving was as difficult for Gladio as it was for Prompto he'd be cursing up a storm right now. But for all of Prompto's aches, things he'd hoped that talking about might help, Gladio feels more at ease than he has for days.

Hearing the slow, detached way Ignis spoke, though, has him dropping a hand down to give Prompto's leg a squeeze, flashing a look at him, scared and worried. Then he shuffles off the bed, coming around to the foot of the bed where Ignis and Leo are curled up and nudging the lily out of the way so he can cup Ignis' face in his hands.

"Hey... babe?" Soft and concerned. One hand slips into Ignis' hair, fingers curling tight into his hair, just enough to tug gently, a steady pressure, something not quite pain but too firm to ignore. "Come back to me baby."

He bumps his forehead against Iggy's, drops a kiss to his nose. "Prom's right you don't owe me or anything. It's not like that. I love you." Another kiss, brushing his lips over Ignis' cheek, the span of scars on the left side.

"C'mon, Spark. Need you with me, okay?" One more tug at his hair, a little firmer this time.

With Gladio's hands on him and Prompto's voice worried beside him, it shouldn't have been so hard for Ignis to pull himself completely back, and yet, there is a small part of his mind that says drifting is better. After all, he was trying not to bother them and look at how much he's doing so now. They've completely stopped talking about the real issue and are focusing on him.

"It's 'tit for tat.'"

No one can be blamed if they think Ignis is still out of it when he finally responds softly, leaning into the gentle kisses Gladio is peppering across the side of his face, but the correction is very definitely an Ignis thing to do, "'Kit kat' is a kind of candy if I'm not mistaken."

Correction complete, he leans forward to press a kiss gently against Gladio's lips before reaching out to find Prompto's shoulder and give it a squeeze, "I'm sorry. It seems this is taking more out of me than I thought it was."

Not the whole truth, but at least part of it. He's exhausted, both mentally and physically.

"Oh." The response was simple. Not that he'd ever put up much of a fight with Ignis' corrections. What was he going to say? That he knew better? He just accepted it and moved on as usual. "...Candy would be pretty good right now."

How long had it been since he'd had something like a piece of candy? Well before he'd even ended up here.

He shifted his body until he was firmly planted against Ignis' other side, leg pressed against leg, side by side. "Come'on Iggy, you're part of this, too. We need you. If this is gonna work, you need to say something." Though he kept some distance, letting Gladio be the one to get handsy, he was no doubt very much there, and worried about how bad Ignis was looking.

The hand that's not buried in Ignis' hair, trying to drag him back to the present with that grip reaches over for Prompto. He squeezes his knee, a little too hard, worried and frightened. Part of him wants to insist too, push Ignis to talk but he also doesn't want to do it like this, not when he's so far away and out of it.

"He's right babe... but lets get you a little more... here?" As much for Prompto as it is for Ignis. He, honestly doesn't expect Ignis to really be registering much of what's happening right now.

"C'mon Igs... focus for me." Another quick kiss and then he's going back to the same tricks he's used for years in the darkness. "You hear the girls? Gonna have to get them dinner soon, huh?"

He can feel Gladio's hands on him, Prompto's weight against his side. Sight was the least reliable of senses so it really didn't matter that he was blind, not for this. But he could hear the chocobos chirping in the next room, the rush of waves on the beach outside, the rumble of Leo's purr. And Gladio tugs something out of the first aid pack on his belt, a little bundle of herbs he'd begun keeping on hand after the incident with Ardyn on Monsun. Mint and rosemary, sharp and bright and he rolled the herbs between his fingers so the scent was strong and fresh.

Something to latch onto with all of his senses, to follow back to the here and now. Gladio even plucks a mint leaf off that bundle with his teeth, catching Ignis' lips in another light kiss, just enough to press the sweet, sharp taste of the mint onto his tongue. "Come home, baby." Murmured against his lips.

At first, Ignis finds himself getting ready to tell Prompto he will be happy to try and make some real candy if he wants him to. True candy is notoriously difficult to make without the proper equipment or ingredients, but his apricot sweets hadn't turned out too bad. With a bit of time, he could likely work out something.

That train of thought is derailed, though, by the sudden onslaught of sensation meant to bring him fully back to the here and now. Ignis' mind had gone to answering the candy question because it took little thought and focus. Processing the almost overwhelming amount of stimulus suddenly thrown in his direction takes a lot more focus. It's almost painful in its intensity...

...but it works.

In order to get the discomfort to pass, Ignis forces himself to focus and start cataloging the sensations as they hit him. The warmth of Prompto's body next to him. The gentle press of Gladio's lips against his. The sharp, cooling taste of mint. The chirping of their little ones just a room away and dependent on them just like any other babies are of their parents.

He takes a long, shaky breath, closing his eye as he focuses himself back with them. When he finally speaks, his voice is still soft, but most definitely more present than it was before.

"My apologies. I just wanted to keep from distracting you once you finally started talking. I didn't mean for this to happen," Ignis' head bows slightly as he speaks. He knows they will insist he's done nothing wrong, but that doesn't keep him from feeling guilty anyway. Despite the guilt, and perhaps because of his lingering feelings of not being needed, the man who rarely asks for physical affection suddenly finds himself doing so, though the request is very quiet, almost as if he is afraid of the request.

"I could really use a hug right now."

Not just from Gladio, but from Prompto too. He needs the touch from both of them so he can be very firmly reminded of his place with them.

He'd only stayed back for the sake of their 'privacy', so to speak. Prompto was far less experienced with trauma. He didn't know warning signs or symptoms or coping mechanisms. All he knew was that Ignis was upset, and when he asked for a hug Prompto put aside his stiffness and wrapped his arms around him without reserve.

"We're cool." His gaze flicked up to Gladio momentarily. "We're gonna talk more about stuff later. Right now what'd make me feel better is if you felt better."

It was hard to tell so soon, but he was hopeful that the pain in his joints had lessened a little bit. He didn't know how long it would take or how much it was supposed to change. He just hoped their talk wasn't for nothing.

For the moment that he could get away with it without question, he rested his head on Iggy's shoulder. Iggy did feel off. The disease made it feel a bit more like hugging a tree than a person, but he wasn't all the way gone just yet.

"Yeah..." He nods to Prompto, letting the blond get himself situated before he wraps his arms around both of them with a gentle squeeze. Leopold even gets up onto the bed now that they've abandoned so much of it and sits down against Ignis' back, slowly oozing his way into laying down, his weight heavy and warm against both of the younger men.

"That's a start, babe." A kiss to his temple this time. "Proud of you." But he knows it won't be as easy with Ignis as Prompto. For as much as he doesn't want to burden people Prompto's issues are so close to the surface, not nearly as well hidden as he thinks sometimes. But Ignis grew up learning the careful art of hiding his emotions, always prepared to be court ready in a matter of seconds.

Gladio's not going to push for more from him, not yet. He's content just supporting him with what he can do for now. Asking for a hug is a huge step.

"Thank you," Ignis' voice is soft enough that his words would have easily been missed had they not been gathered so close together. This little spell, fit, whatever it should be called, has left him exhausted and he has no intention of saying more unless someone specifically asks it of him. Instead, all he wants to do is soak in the warmth and comfort surrounding him on all sides.

If he's lucky, it will be enough to chase away the void he's been losing himself to lately for a little longer.

He was fatigued himself, dealing with the godforsaken disease and the overwhelming emotions. Physical and mental exhaustion were taking over. He knew he wanted Ignis to say more, but Ignis wouldn't be easy and he wasn't sure he had the strength to fight. If he could just rest for a while... If he could get better, then he could help Iggy.

He slowly melted against them, leaning on them with his weight rather than physically holding onto them.

"...We going to sleep like this?"

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The Saddening

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dragging Igs back into this oops

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