lifeaftr | June Aftermath: Magic Lantern Strange

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June Aftermath: Magic Lantern Strange

JUNE AFTERMATH: MAGIC LANTERN STRANGE

Who: Everyone!
What: A celebration!
When: Evening of June 21st, and well into morning
Where: Ensō, E3 and E4
Warnings: Mark as needed!

Slide the Light Off You
As promised, the evening of the 21st finds the Jormun hosting a party on Ensō's largest beachfront. Near immediately, it should be clear that they've spared absolutely no expense when it comes to showing their story-walker brethren a good time.

Of course, they may also be...showing off a little.

The stalls and comfortable seating supplied around multiple firepits appears to be a mishmash of Jormun built contraptions and items requested from the Storyteller- many may be delighted to see the variety of beach cushions and blankets, items the Jormun will be happy to let their story-walker friends take home at the end of the festivities. A veritable smorgasbord of food and drink is also readily available, from the kid-friendly options of brrshavak (a spicy drink with a taste akin to liquified chili pepper) and molkavarr (a rich chocolaty broth) to the alcoholic rakvrhak (a rich wine that tastes oddly plumlike). Do be warned, however, that the last is incredibly potent.

Large slabs of driftwood have been laid out to form impromptu tables, bristling with the Jormun's culinary expertise: fried squid, seaweed wraps, spicy pickled kelp, kebabs of roasted eel, hard-boiled snapling eggs, and so on. The vegetables and meats of the sea have been laid out for all to enjoy, so tuck in!

Throughout the evening the air will be filled with the sound of music, with multiple Jormun eager to show off their skill in instrumentation. Conch-shell horns, carved driftwood flutes, urchin-needle harps, and countless more contraptions engineered by a deep sea-dwelling people fill the air with the most peculiar but nonetheless not unpleasant sound. Most of the bands will be set up in the shallow waters, however, as their instruments are not made to be used in open air - try playing them above the surface of the water at your own risk.

Of course, there's plenty more to entertain even the most difficult of people.

You're Living the Strobe Light
Those interested in proving their strength and skill will be encouraged to enter one of the many tournaments across the shoreline. The tournaments vary, featuring such challenges as play fights with the schlacknorkcvic to prove who is the greatest warrior, timed events to see who can stay on a bucking tigershark for the longest, and even a tourney of brovonkosshk, a board game somewhat similar to chess. Don't see anything you're interested in? Make your own. If you can think it, the Jormun will happily accommodate it - impromptu challenges are the highlight of such evenings, after all, though the Jormun won't be taking any responsibility for the first poor soul that decides to usher in a drinking contest.

A small variety of walker games are also available. Jormun children are more than eager to play such games as hide-and-seek or red light, green light, while Connor Murphy will be bringing his Cards Against Humanity deck, for those ready to completely screw with the idea of a fourth wall. There's even a game of Spin the Bottle... except the bottle is being spun overhead like a mace. Being hit by said bottle requires you to do a stupidly ridiculous task, so perhaps it's best to avoid that particular adaptation...

And of course, there's the lightshow.

As mentioned previously, the main show of the evening is the show of brssticca: bursts of magical light beneath the water that will put any fireworks show to shame. The lights are safe to wade and swim through, do keep in mind that the phosphorescent algae tends to cling to the skin. And should you reach into those spiraling, fluorescent nebulae of patterns beneath the surface, some of the configurations of light may abruptly shatter like broken glass.

Additionally, skilled Jormun will be happy to assist those who care to dress up for the event with intricate applications of shellivthiss - a style of waterproof body paint that is not only bright, but luminescent. Something the Jormun may forget to mention, however, is how similar shellivthiss is to henna; should you decide to get all dolled up, except to shine bright light a diamond for weeks to come.

Lastly, those who wanted to bring their own adventures are welcome to as well! Supplying some dope roast? Bringing those sweet, sweet greens? Have some alcohol to supply? All is welcomed by the Jormun - and undoubtedly, your fellow adventurers as well.

You May Find Some Peace
Feeling a tad adrift? Make sure to check the OOC Event Post, which has details regarding the event timeline!

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( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

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A. Wine, Dine, Sleep Sublime

[Man, these weird sea-people know how to party. Guzma really needed a day off like this, and taking care of them little rainbowshells was just good karma. Even's he's not so much of a brute to go around stomping on nests and poaching eggs or whatever... He may do the ocassional "bad deed" and slice off a Slowpoke tail here and there, but the things regrow 'em anyway and don't notice until a full day after the deed is done. Plus, they snap off their own tails in the wild, so...bah. That's neither here nor there. Fending off predators was an easy task and one he delighted in - hurling water at a group of Slypers, walloping a few centipuppies (despite it breaking his heart a little), and flinging rocks at hungry seabirds was a joy for this rowdy troublemaker.

Now he reaps the benefits. Laying on a huge beach carpet (which he intends to take, heck yes), back against perhaps three soft, fluffy pillows, Guzma is barely awake as he enjoys the cool air of the ocean and the gentle crackle of the fire nearby. Two empty plates lay beside him, as well as some mugs that are either empty or half full. That cocoa-like drink the Jormun have is pretty damn good if he may say so. No Tapu Cocoa, but it's a fair substitute. He's also going to see if he can snag a few recipes for those seaweed wraps and other foods. The more he can add to his repertoire, the better.

As he sighs out, slightly flushed in the face from a few sips of that potent tonic (and he can hold his drink), Guzma begins to hum a tune softly to himself, tapping his one foot to the beat as his eyes close with a content smile on his face. Man, he really needed something like this. When was the last time he actually got to relax to this extent? He's not asleep, but he sure looks to be dozing off, enjoying the sights, smells, and sounds around him. It almost feels like an old fashioned lu'au in Alola...]

We're Glowing Tonight

[OKay so the tournaments here? Awesome. Guzma has enjoyed wrestling the Jormun for hours, arm-wrestled a few, and has been flung off a tigershark at least six times and beaten his all-time record. He's sore, he's tired, and he's in fucking heaven. These are the people they deserve to call friends and allies, and he's already learned a few of their names to the best of his abilities to keep in touch if ever they appear on land again, giving them playful nicknames after fearsome or lovely looking ocean pokemon (Vaporeon, Sharpedo, Gyarados, Mareanie, Milotic, and more). In fact, many of the Jormun children were extremely interested in the ocean creatures of his own world, and after showing one or two his Pokedex, a whole flock of them came racing to see the numerous aquatic pokemon as well as this strange, metal marvel.

Thank goodness Guzma's gotten a whole lot better with kids, because some of the children were poking and prodding at his tattoos, and showing off their own glowing paint, asking him to draw the sign on their arms (because it looked cool) or elsewhere. Grinning ear to ear, Guzma happily obliged, painting his team's symbol to those that wanted and, of course...became the local face/body painter to the children. Such is the way of young children. At the very least he's gotten painted up himself, outlining his tattoos with the glowing ink and getting a glowing tattoo of his own on the back of his neck. Glowing for weeks? Heck yeah, bring it on. If this stuff could be bottled, he'd easily trade for it, absolutely. Maybe ask the Storyteller if it's available as an item to ask for.

Want a tattoo of your own? He'll absolutely do it, and is pretty skilled of his own right - just nothing stupidly intricate and detailed or he will draw a dickbutt on you and let you wallow in shame for weeks. Test him. Go ahead.]

C. Wildcard!!

[Nothing here tickle your fancy? Write your own or hit me up for plotting.]

[ best believe when Guzma has some downtime, Luna comes crashing into him!! Best!! Believe!!

She's dirty-- sand and salty water against her ankles, her shirt, and even in her hair. It's obvious that she's been playing with the kids (and her other islanders!) and just..having a blast. She bumps into him, laughing, and falls back into a soft patch of sand, fingers crawling into the warm earth curiously. Endless sand. Honestly, Luna thought she'd be more tired of it by now-- but it's just...reminds her of home in all the right ways.

It's a good evening.

When she looks up, she catches a glimpse of the hand-drawn tattoo on Guzma's neck and!!! Her eyes light up!! Perhaps brighter than the sparkles themselves, wowie wow wow wow!! ]

That's amazing!! Did you draw that?! [ she starts standing up, arms spinning wildly around her sides to regain some balance until she's upright and a little closer to that fucking awesome design!! ] I want one too! How does it glow so bright??

[ SO MANY QUESTIONS, GUZMA!!! SO MANY!!! ]

[Oh my god, child, you are covered in sand - get off and away, you're getting it everywhere?! Guzma all but pushes Luna off him as she prods her grubby, sandy little fingers all over his clothes and body, swatting her hands with a scowl when she gets a bit too close to a few of the newer, glowing ones. Don't smudge anything, brat, or he'd dunking you in the water and giving you a good old Team Skull Scrubdown.]

Paws off, it's not dry yet. And no I didn't draw it - how the heck can I draw something on the back of my neck? I got one'a them Jormun to do it. These ones I did. [Guzma shows off his regular tattoos - the Team Skull logo on his arms, now outlined in the glowing white-blue paint.] And some'a them kids running around, I painted a few'a them, too. There! That one. [He grabs Luna and points to a Jormun child, splashing about happily in the shallows, watching the underwater fireworks, with a Squirtle painted on their shoulder.]

If you want one, I can do one for you, sure...and heck if I know how them glow, it's prob'ly the same thing what's glowing on the sand, yeah?

[ she pulls her hands back and watches him quietly. The way that he's talking is...different. Even the way that he's holding himself upright is strange. He's talking, but the glow adds more shadows under his eyes-- light that encourages the darkness. Poetic. He shows her the Squirtle, and she feels excitement in her head, but not in her heart. Instead of responding promptly, she just watches him quietly, eyes shifting toward the glowing skull logo blazed into his skin, along with--

...

...along with more shadows. She stares helplessly for a second while her brain starts to work. While the cogs move, and the excitement turns into curiosity, turns into pondering. ]

Mmm. [ she's not sure....what to make of it. But she feels mildly uncomfortable. Never been privy to something like this. He forces her attention on that little Squirtle shoulder-work, and the happy child who runs about advertising it. More important than the glowing surface of his skin is what is beneath. Yeah. ]

Guzma?

[ no hint of hesitation, here, but she's gotta be careful with this one. It's like a bomb, his feelings-- and her ineptitude in being subtle has failed her before and earned her embarrassed lectures. Plus, he seems better than he's been for the last couple days at least. ]

[He doesn't exactly like that tone. He's heard it before, seen the look she gives him before - searching, questioning, digging. He never once liked exposing himself, and the feeling hasn't faded since years ago, especially for raw wounds that carve themselves deep into his very heart, his soul. He's not ready to open up about a lot of things, and his eyes narrow dangerously, fingers curling into tight fists with several cracks and pops...perhaps more than should be.]

Don't. [Said simply, but sternly. Discussion ended, move on. And if she doesn't engage, he forces her to.] What picture you want? I can give y'all a mark like that wrestlecat y'got on your forehead or face.

[He's having a good time tonight Luna, don't ruin it.]

[ he shoots that line of thought down super hard, but she's not going to accept that as an answer either. She reaches out for his balled up fist with both of her smaller hands and gives it a soft pat. ]

I like you.

[ she's looking at his arms. I like you. Something that she doesn't always say outloud. He's evolved from this big moron with a crew of loyal punks to...a brother. To family. A lifeline in an ocean of new experiences and a home to return to at night after a day of exploration.

He's not in a good place, and his growling lets her know all she needs to know, but..she just needs to have faith that he'll remember that he has a home, too.

She grins at him. ]

I want a skull! And Incineroar! Can you draw Reebo, too?

[ her jolly tone is highlighted by the hands that press into Guzma's. A life that has been impacted by his own. A life that could be impacted in the opposite way easily, and quickly, and god, trusting other people as much as she trusts Guzma in her life is like letting a bull into a china shop.

Just breathe. Take it one step at a time. ]

[I like you.

That is definitely not what Guzma was expecting to hear, and he fumbles over his words, a soft red coloring his cheeks and nose when the young girl takes his large hand in both her much smaller ones. Thank goodness it's dark...he'd probably get angrier if she teased him about his blush, but it's still such a strange concept to have people actually care about him, and...like him. And, considering his prior, uh--'discussion' with a certain someone, his self-worth has taken a big hit, so hearing that is--...

He likes you too, brat.]

J-Just sit down and lemme get started - and stop your wiggling! Tch...I'll do your face first, then lemme know where y'all want the other ones to go. [Thank Arceus they actuall gave this man brushes, his meaty fingers would make a mess of Luna's small and delicate face. He pauses as he looks over, cupping her face and inspecting it to get a better idea of how and where to start. After a moment, he fishes through a pocket and produces a white hair-tie.]

Can y'put your hair up?

[ For once, the Knight doesn't have to crane their neck to look up at Guzma - in fact, they're actually just about eye level with him now.

The first indication he gets of this, though, is when they happen to participate in one of the tournaments he's also in. They're instantly recognisable, if tall, but they are also totally ready to wrestle him.

They seem in high spirits, as much as they can convey high spirits. Their glowing wings flutter momentarily in what's apparently excitement.

LET'S DO THIS ]

[????????]

[TINY BUG FREN Y U NO TINY?? Is this your evolved form.

Guzma is dumbfounded for a split second, so the Knight might have a good opportunity for a chance attack. Honestly, they were the last person Guzma expected to enter the ring. He's fought people and Jormun alike thus far, and lasted quite a few rounds with a few people. Thankfully, even a defeat here doesn't get him all that salty - the atmosphere is just that good, as competitive as Guzma is.

Yet, he's at a loss with what to do here. He's more than up to a fight, and knows the Knight is a tough little thing and can dish as well as they can take, but...they're still small. Or, uh...w-well, they're supposed to be small. What the heck did you even eat to shoot up that high, child, my god.]

...Lil Pinsir? [HE'S IN DISBELIEF]

[ They tilt their head at Guzma's confusion, before they seem to catch on and proudly indicate the gleaming charm pinned to their cloak (which is more like a neckscarf at this point). Apparently their growth has something to do with this trinket, if their gestures are any indication.

But they're hardly going to attack him while his guard is down! That would be dishonorable! (And reserved for mindless zombies, anyway.) Not what Ogrim and the Mantis Lords would expect from them at all.

So, they wait. Watching expectantly. ]

[He's still pretty confused? The indication of the charm definitely helps him comprehend somewhat - some sort of magic he doesn't understand - but it's still bizarre. Guzma chalks it up to some sort of mega evolution or something, that's a bit easier for him to understand, and they even have a mega stone or...or whatever. Don't judge him, he's simple folk and this is easy for him to understand.

Anyway, if they really wanna go about this, Guzma will happily oblige them. In fact, he might be more honorable and keep his fists to himself this time around. He likes this not-so-little bug, after all, and he's not about to actually swing at them. He doesn't practice the martial art like some others he knows do, but Guzma picked up a few techniques of Alolan sumo when he mentored under Hala. It's been years though...hopefully he still remembers how to actually employ them in combat.]

First one out'a the ring is the loser, yeah? No fists - just open palm strikes. Push, shove, throw...whatever. Y'all ready bro? [Guzma shifts his stance into one he's more familiar with, digging his feet firmly into the loose sand and tensing his very sturdy, powerful leg muscles.]

[ Ah, so it's a contest of strength he wants. The Knight is not so certain about how their own strength applies in this case (even with a blunted nail, they can cut metal and break down stone), but they've never been one to test their skill unarmed. They were ill-suited for such things, anyway.

But they've challenged him, so they won't back down. They imitate his stance - it's abundantly clear that their build is more slender than his, a creature built more for agility and speed rather than contests of raw muscle - and dig their own feet into the sand, and then they nod firmly to indicate that they're ready.

Though they're...not quite sure what to expect. All their fighting has been done with weapons, thus far. But they'll do their best!! ]

[Guzma waits another second more until it's clear the Knight isn't going for the assault - stepping forward and lowering his head to clasp his arms around their midsection and attempt to push. Despite hi size and how stocky he is Guzma can still move pretty quickly, though the loose and shifting sand does cut that even still. If he can get a grip on his now not-so-little friend, he's going to use his brute strength and try to shove them backwards and out of the ring.

Stay sharp, Lil Pinsir, where you lack experience in muscle, Guzma excels at it. He's not the wrestling type, more used to fighting with his pokemon or his fists, but this is still an act of rough-housing he's extremely used to. Get good or get wrekt.]

[ The Knight is utterly surprised to be grabbed and pushed - by their clumsy reactions, lacking their usual quick reflexes, this is clearly a combat style they're wholly unfamiliar with - but after a moment, they lower their head and bend their knees, bracing themselves and attempting to stop their backwards progression.

It is, for the most part, successful, though Guzma has pushed them dangerously close to the edge of the ring in doing so.

Push, shove, throw...with their arms free, they press their hands against Guzma's shoulders, attempting to push him back that way. If he's ever roughhoused with his Pokemon directly, the amount of sudden strength the Knight is exerting is probably reminiscent of that. ]

[For a moment, Guzma actually thinks this is going to be a pretty unfair fight - one he's going to utterly dominate - but when there's finally a bit of resistance, he looks not shocked or angry...but pleased. His lips turn up at their corners, thankful that he's not going to win so easily, because really? Where's the fun in that? A victory without challenge is hardly a victory at all. Plus, he likes the Knight, and wants to give them a sporting chance.

Grunting slightly, Guzma's heels slide in the shifting sand as he's pushed backward. He braces himself, tightening the muscles in his legs as well as his abdomen. For a few minutes, the two are at an impasse, locked together while both trying to move the other to the edge of the ring. The crowd gathered cheers and shouts, throwing their hands up and whooping. It's exactly the sort of horseplay he's come to know. Guzma roughhouses with his Pokemon constantly, Golisopod and Scizor especially, and he trains his own body with them like this. A bit of a more physical training.

He's having fun, given how large his grin is.]

Heh...glad y'all didn't go down in one shot, homie. I was right to think y'all was tough as. [He claps the Knight on the back, to show his respect, but then will attempt to fling them sideways, off him.]

[Approaching him had never been an issue before and it shouldn't be now. The dream worlds have long since past and most have carried on without another word. People were okay, no one was fighting and-

Guzma had seen through her. Seen that part of her that wasn't real and helped shatter the illusion with a simple, single phrase that makes her nervously plod around the sand near his humming, happy form. That world wasn't real, but this one is and he would know that she's his Ren this time. Not the fake one she wishes she could be. That she hoped would be better, somehow. But it scares her-that he saw the her that was better. That was healthy. That lacked the bad part of her heart that could hurt others and turned her away regardless.

It's inevitable. She knows that. One day, she's going to be alone again.

But she doesn't have to be, right now. If she can sneak over and spend a few quiet minutes by his side, that would be enough. So that's what she does-circling around his body for a hot second to make sure he's asleep?? She can't really tell from this angle. So she gives up, plops her butt down a couple feet away and wiggles her bare, glowing feet against the fire. She'll just stay for a few minutes. That's okay, right? Right.]

[He's certainly not asleep, but he is resting quietly and enjoying the festive air quietly and at his own pace. During her circling, he does peek one eye open to see who it is approaching, thinking it another one of the Jormun children looking to get their face or other parts of their body "tattooed". When he spots the familiar shape of Ren's back and lithe form, he nearly swallows his tongue, body tensing and eyes closing as he holds his breath. He's not sure what to really do, and he doesn't want to confront her right now, and does something he hasn't done in years and years...not since he left that house on Route 2 as a child.

He fakes being asleep.

Avoidance. That's how he always used to go about things that bothered him - avoid them entirely. Brush them aside, and that little, frightened part of him remained buried deep beneath the strong, sturdy, gruff exterior. Because his beat-em-up tactic doesn't work with Ren. He can't do those things, he can't possibly hurt her, would never--...again. So when she finds purchase by his side, Guzma curses internally and continues to just lay still, trying to calm his harsh breathing.

Go away, a part of him pleads, and then...there's the curious side to him as well, wondering why she'd still find his presence anything but awful after what he said to her. Those words spoken so carelessly. Yes, they may have saved her, but that was not the intent. He meant to harm, to wound, and that's unforgivable...despite whatever effect it had to pull her free. So why?

It's that question, that tiny glimmer of hope, of fear, that keeps Guzma from both moving toward Ren and away from her.]

[The tense situation is proving to be anything but for her. The more apparent it is that he's dozing, the happier she gets. It lengthens the time she can spend by his side, before she has to face whatever might happen when he opens his eyes. She takes the opportunity to steadily scoot closer and closer, keeping a steady gaze on him for any sign of movement, until she's within arm's length.

And while her Big Plan™ had been to hover and then slink off into the night, if he's going to be out like a light, then what's the harm in resting here as well. He'll be asleep until well past morning-maybe until the sun is high in the sky so-

She's quiet and cautious when she starts to pull the blanket over his body, bringing it over his head, then remembering that's too much tucking in and tugging it back down so it's over his shoulders. Ya boy?? Ya good now. Nighty night peanut.]

[It's hard not to laugh or smile when Ren just...defies all odds and does what she does best - be her usual self. Guzma has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, but his smile is a little more difficult to hide when the blanket is pulled back from over his head. Maybe...maybe she's forgotten? No, that's not possible - he wouldn't want her to forget, because that's just another side of him she has to know about. He isn't the kind and gentle person she thinks he is. Maybe to her, but that's just a small piece of the whole puzzle that is Guzma. He's a lot...worse than what she sees at surface level. But if she can look past that, and still want to lay by his side, then--

He peeks one eye open as his arm comes slowly around her waist to tug her a little bit closer to his side. He's still smiling that crooked smile of his, and he's not really forcing her to stay if she doesn't want to - she can break away easily, he's still in a very relaxed state - but the invitation is there in his welcoming pull, his sleepy smile. There's his girl.]

Alola kakahiaka koʻu kaikuahine...

[His unexpected movements startle her and there's a bit of apprehension on her face as he raises his arms to pull her closer, instead of pushing her away. Had he not opened his eye, she would've thought he mistook her for someone else. Another piece of family that he expected to show up in the midst of this party.

But he sees her and the hesitation she feels is gone the instant he smiles, because he must know, this time, it's not fake. Even if it's something she desperately wanted-none of it mattered in the grand scheme of things. It was a hiding spot and this is reality.

And she can hide here, too.

Save for alola, the words are unfamiliar and she doesn't comment on them, only noting the gentleness in his voice. It doesn't sound like any residual anger or disgust remains from the last time they spoke. The small comfort that gives is enough to make her think it's okay to stay here and she gradually lowers herself down until she's laying by his side.]

You can go back to sleep if your eyes are tired. It's okay.

[The smile is mirrored in Ren and it sets his mind at ease for a minute. They're okay, and he...he can actually start to maybe, actually, apologize for being such a damn idiot and opening his mouth so unwittingly. Ren might be able to tell from their closeness that Guzma's hand look a little...raw, especially around his knuckles. There are recent scabs and bruises, as well as a few crusted scratch marks near his face, and parts of his hair where there's a reddish tint. He's...not a well rounded individual - never has been since he was a kid - and self mutilation and harm had been, ahah...beaten into him since a young age.

Nothing he doesn't deserve for a screw up though, right?

At the very least, Guzma doesn't seem too bothered by it, and he shakes his head when Ren ushers him to sleep some more. Even if he tried, he wouldn't get too far - there's way too much noise and commotion going on. It's a celebration, after all, sleep is for losers who can't party hard. Though that alcohol is definitely....woof, it's something. And once it really kicks in, he'll be sleeping for damn sure.]

Nah, not yet. I have a few things to do before I catch up on some shut eye, yeah? [He sits up, stretches a bit with a few cracks and pops of his back and neck, then looks at Ren a bit more seriously.] ...Those things I said back there, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean none of 'em. I just been shown so many stupid dreams what weren't real, or what were meant to screw with my head...that I lost it. I totally lost it, and I just--...

[He hangs his head, gripping his bent knees as he exhales.] No matter what, Ren, I'm gonna look out for you, keep you safe and happy. You're my li'l sis and I gotta do what's good for you from here on.

N'if I ever yell at'cha again, you sock me right in my ugly face, okay?

[The injuries on his hand catch her eye and the temptation to ask about it rests in the back of her mind. There's a tentative peace happening that she doesn't want to risk by opening that line of questioning. She could hold them on her own hands after he went to bed, maybe find bandages or something to soothe those injuries while he slept. That had been her spur of the moment plan, but-

He moves up and those tender words start coming out of his mouth and she-

Is terrified.

She expected a quiet moment, where some lowkey off the cuff comments might be made about those worlds. Something easy to ignore. Something to avoid. She wasn't sure what her mind had conjured up happening here, but facing this isn't what she expected and the desire to bury her face in the pillow, to hide, wells up in her. So she does that, briefly, because she doesn't know how to face this. All of this.

Lup says it to her too. Foolishly, without knowing, without understanding, confusing her for something more when she has no idea that it's wasted on her.

In her dream, nothing felt wasted. Lil sis and nii-chan and aunt and uncle felt right, because there was no risk in saying it. She didn't have to think about how accepting that word means one day he's going to stop looking at her with that kind expression, how she's going to make him sad and cause his face twist and make his words turn harsh. Cold.

He's apologizing and she doesn't know what to do. What to say. All she knows is that her fingers are twisting into this pillow so tight that her knuckles hurt, with an ache that doesn't compare to the ones he's sporting, but all she can think is-

He's going to be mad. They're going to be so mad and something's wrong with her. Maybe detrimental part that only doctors and scientists could see because she wants to hear lil sis again. Again and again and again. There's nothing in her brave enough to stop that and it's bad. It's bad. She shouldn't let it get this far. Doesn't know if she can take losing this many people who care about her enough to call her lil sis.

But she's bad and he'll see it one day. Maybe he can already tell by the shaky way she pushes herself up, how she stares at his eyes because he apologized and she doesn't know how to accept that outside of saying-]

That wasn't 'your Ren' and it wasn't-

[No matter how vivid and bright everything felt, it could never be-]

Real. So that kind of thing-it's okay. You don't have to say 'I'm sorry' and make that sad face. I'm very happy. When you look at me and 'hey angel' and 'I'm your anchor'-that makes me feel very warm.

[She's slow and cautious in her movements, but if he doesn't jerk away from her, she's going to press her hands over his knuckles and repeat-]

It's okay. I don't want to put socks on your pretty face. I won't do that kind of thing to you.

[It's a good thing Ren doesn't ask about Guzma's fresh injuries - he would either lie or avoid the question entirely. It's nothing he can't endure, but the principle is that he deals with his frustrations in very bad ways - anger mostly, but also self harm. Punching a tree hard, and long enough, until bark and splinters cut into your knuckles probably isn't a healthy way to deal with anything... Guzma knows that, he does in the back of his mind, but once he's past the point of no return mentally, it's hard to break free of the restraints of his fractured psyche.

But he sees something Ren that still makes him...wary. He sees fear, and it makes Guzma feels somewhat sick to his stomach. He doesn't want Ren to be afraid of him, even if he knows that's asking for a lot. He is frightening, he is violent, and it's not something he can easily change about himself. Guzma will continue to make mistakes, say harsh, mean things...and yell. He'll continue to be scary, but he doesn't want to be scary to her, and especially not at her, either.

It takes all he can do not to reach out and take Ren's hands to steady them - he knows from experience it's a terrible idea, but he wants her to know he's here for her. If he can see it in his expression, or how he also shrinks back a little when she looks so scared and ready to run away, then hopefully she can see how regretful he is that he made her feel that way. Like she has to hide from him. Guzma never, ever wants his precious little sister to feel like she needs to hide from him... He wouldn't hurt her. Not again.

Not ever again.

He lets her take his hands only when she feels she can, and Guzma still senses a bit of tension. She's speaking words, but she doesn't feel the true sincerity behind it. There's still something...something there. Something being hidden. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't pry it out of her, either. Guzma gazes as her little hand covering his much, much larger one and breathes out, chuckling softly with a shake of his head when she misinterprets his last sentence. Gosh, but she's cute...can endear herself to him so quickly it's scary.]

Nah, girl, that...that was you. I mean, in a way it was. Not completely, but it was still you on the inside, yeah? And that's what matters in the end. This place can play a whole lotta tricks on all'a us, make us better or worse n'what we really are...but end'a the day, we're the same as we are right now. We don't change unless we do it ourselves, yeah?

But know that whatever you become, you're my lil sis now and I'm gonna love you always. Au e aloha mai oe i mau. [He smiles, settles back, and begins to hum a new song, quietly to himself.]

[He doesn't understand.

It's her fault he doesn't get why it's wrong to say he loves her. A word that shouldn't be said in any capacity towards her because it changes things in a way she didn't expect. Her blood runs cold and when he settles back down, she rubs her fingers against the tops of his hands, as if trying to decide whether to clutch them or run away. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to fix this. She doesn't know how to look at someone who says they love her, knowing full well that love is going to shatter and hurt.

She's seen the way he could look at her and knew, even before, there would come a time when that anger is all she would see-that his eyes would burn when he looks at her, but not with love. She knew these attachments were cruel of her to form, knowing full well she was setting them up and now, it's impossible to ignore. She can't pretend love was meant to be said in passing, in the heat of the moment, in the midst of some kind of personal crises. That's-

Something real. Something she's definitely not supposed to have. Something she's not sure she knows the meaning of, but understands how it's supposed to be. She's seen love with her own two eyes, once. Read about it in books about family and friends.

She's not sure how long her hands have been wrapped around his or at what point her knuckles started to turn white because she doesn't want to let go. Can't let him go. Knows she'll have to let go and-

She's been holding her breath and notices only as the quiet hum reaches her ears.

Sometimes the elves look at her and she thinks there's love in their eyes, their voices, their hearts. Wonders if that warm, happy feeling that surges through her when they hold her hand or make meals that have come to be 'favorites' means that.

Sometimes that thought would strike her when she was with Guzma too, when he would shove cocoa in her hands and make sure she was comfortable by the hammock. When he said words like 'angel' and 'darlin' when she came within sight.

His hands are warm and she doesn't want to let go.]

When you-

[She can't think.]

Saying that to someone like me. I don't know if-

[It's allowed. He doesn't know. She'll have to leave him and he loves her and-

She's not supposed to have a family and they've given her that. She's not supposed to have a home and she has one. She's not supposed to have birthdays or siblings that live past their childhoods and they've given that to her.

She's not supposed to let bro or nii-chan stick in the back of her throat. It should be shoved far, far down. Not waiting to tumble out as she tries to form a coherent thought. One that comes out a simple request.]

Don't let go of my hands. I don't-I don't want you to.

June Aftermath: Magic Lantern Strange

Guzma | OTA

We're Glowing Tonight

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cw: brief mention of self harm

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