lifeaftr | June Aftermath: Magic Lantern Strange

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June Aftermath: Magic Lantern Strange

JUNE AFTERMATH: MAGIC LANTERN STRANGE

Who: Everyone!
What: A celebration!
When: Evening of June 21st, and well into morning
Where: Ensō, E3 and E4
Warnings: Mark as needed!

Slide the Light Off You
As promised, the evening of the 21st finds the Jormun hosting a party on Ensō's largest beachfront. Near immediately, it should be clear that they've spared absolutely no expense when it comes to showing their story-walker brethren a good time.

Of course, they may also be...showing off a little.

The stalls and comfortable seating supplied around multiple firepits appears to be a mishmash of Jormun built contraptions and items requested from the Storyteller- many may be delighted to see the variety of beach cushions and blankets, items the Jormun will be happy to let their story-walker friends take home at the end of the festivities. A veritable smorgasbord of food and drink is also readily available, from the kid-friendly options of brrshavak (a spicy drink with a taste akin to liquified chili pepper) and molkavarr (a rich chocolaty broth) to the alcoholic rakvrhak (a rich wine that tastes oddly plumlike). Do be warned, however, that the last is incredibly potent.

Large slabs of driftwood have been laid out to form impromptu tables, bristling with the Jormun's culinary expertise: fried squid, seaweed wraps, spicy pickled kelp, kebabs of roasted eel, hard-boiled snapling eggs, and so on. The vegetables and meats of the sea have been laid out for all to enjoy, so tuck in!

Throughout the evening the air will be filled with the sound of music, with multiple Jormun eager to show off their skill in instrumentation. Conch-shell horns, carved driftwood flutes, urchin-needle harps, and countless more contraptions engineered by a deep sea-dwelling people fill the air with the most peculiar but nonetheless not unpleasant sound. Most of the bands will be set up in the shallow waters, however, as their instruments are not made to be used in open air - try playing them above the surface of the water at your own risk.

Of course, there's plenty more to entertain even the most difficult of people.

You're Living the Strobe Light
Those interested in proving their strength and skill will be encouraged to enter one of the many tournaments across the shoreline. The tournaments vary, featuring such challenges as play fights with the schlacknorkcvic to prove who is the greatest warrior, timed events to see who can stay on a bucking tigershark for the longest, and even a tourney of brovonkosshk, a board game somewhat similar to chess. Don't see anything you're interested in? Make your own. If you can think it, the Jormun will happily accommodate it - impromptu challenges are the highlight of such evenings, after all, though the Jormun won't be taking any responsibility for the first poor soul that decides to usher in a drinking contest.

A small variety of walker games are also available. Jormun children are more than eager to play such games as hide-and-seek or red light, green light, while Connor Murphy will be bringing his Cards Against Humanity deck, for those ready to completely screw with the idea of a fourth wall. There's even a game of Spin the Bottle... except the bottle is being spun overhead like a mace. Being hit by said bottle requires you to do a stupidly ridiculous task, so perhaps it's best to avoid that particular adaptation...

And of course, there's the lightshow.

As mentioned previously, the main show of the evening is the show of brssticca: bursts of magical light beneath the water that will put any fireworks show to shame. The lights are safe to wade and swim through, do keep in mind that the phosphorescent algae tends to cling to the skin. And should you reach into those spiraling, fluorescent nebulae of patterns beneath the surface, some of the configurations of light may abruptly shatter like broken glass.

Additionally, skilled Jormun will be happy to assist those who care to dress up for the event with intricate applications of shellivthiss - a style of waterproof body paint that is not only bright, but luminescent. Something the Jormun may forget to mention, however, is how similar shellivthiss is to henna; should you decide to get all dolled up, except to shine bright light a diamond for weeks to come.

Lastly, those who wanted to bring their own adventures are welcome to as well! Supplying some dope roast? Bringing those sweet, sweet greens? Have some alcohol to supply? All is welcomed by the Jormun - and undoubtedly, your fellow adventurers as well.

You May Find Some Peace
Feeling a tad adrift? Make sure to check the OOC Event Post, which has details regarding the event timeline!

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

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[The tense situation is proving to be anything but for her. The more apparent it is that he's dozing, the happier she gets. It lengthens the time she can spend by his side, before she has to face whatever might happen when he opens his eyes. She takes the opportunity to steadily scoot closer and closer, keeping a steady gaze on him for any sign of movement, until she's within arm's length.

And while her Big Plan™ had been to hover and then slink off into the night, if he's going to be out like a light, then what's the harm in resting here as well. He'll be asleep until well past morning-maybe until the sun is high in the sky so-

She's quiet and cautious when she starts to pull the blanket over his body, bringing it over his head, then remembering that's too much tucking in and tugging it back down so it's over his shoulders. Ya boy?? Ya good now. Nighty night peanut.]

[It's hard not to laugh or smile when Ren just...defies all odds and does what she does best - be her usual self. Guzma has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, but his smile is a little more difficult to hide when the blanket is pulled back from over his head. Maybe...maybe she's forgotten? No, that's not possible - he wouldn't want her to forget, because that's just another side of him she has to know about. He isn't the kind and gentle person she thinks he is. Maybe to her, but that's just a small piece of the whole puzzle that is Guzma. He's a lot...worse than what she sees at surface level. But if she can look past that, and still want to lay by his side, then--

He peeks one eye open as his arm comes slowly around her waist to tug her a little bit closer to his side. He's still smiling that crooked smile of his, and he's not really forcing her to stay if she doesn't want to - she can break away easily, he's still in a very relaxed state - but the invitation is there in his welcoming pull, his sleepy smile. There's his girl.]

Alola kakahiaka koʻu kaikuahine...

[His unexpected movements startle her and there's a bit of apprehension on her face as he raises his arms to pull her closer, instead of pushing her away. Had he not opened his eye, she would've thought he mistook her for someone else. Another piece of family that he expected to show up in the midst of this party.

But he sees her and the hesitation she feels is gone the instant he smiles, because he must know, this time, it's not fake. Even if it's something she desperately wanted-none of it mattered in the grand scheme of things. It was a hiding spot and this is reality.

And she can hide here, too.

Save for alola, the words are unfamiliar and she doesn't comment on them, only noting the gentleness in his voice. It doesn't sound like any residual anger or disgust remains from the last time they spoke. The small comfort that gives is enough to make her think it's okay to stay here and she gradually lowers herself down until she's laying by his side.]

You can go back to sleep if your eyes are tired. It's okay.

[The smile is mirrored in Ren and it sets his mind at ease for a minute. They're okay, and he...he can actually start to maybe, actually, apologize for being such a damn idiot and opening his mouth so unwittingly. Ren might be able to tell from their closeness that Guzma's hand look a little...raw, especially around his knuckles. There are recent scabs and bruises, as well as a few crusted scratch marks near his face, and parts of his hair where there's a reddish tint. He's...not a well rounded individual - never has been since he was a kid - and self mutilation and harm had been, ahah...beaten into him since a young age.

Nothing he doesn't deserve for a screw up though, right?

At the very least, Guzma doesn't seem too bothered by it, and he shakes his head when Ren ushers him to sleep some more. Even if he tried, he wouldn't get too far - there's way too much noise and commotion going on. It's a celebration, after all, sleep is for losers who can't party hard. Though that alcohol is definitely....woof, it's something. And once it really kicks in, he'll be sleeping for damn sure.]

Nah, not yet. I have a few things to do before I catch up on some shut eye, yeah? [He sits up, stretches a bit with a few cracks and pops of his back and neck, then looks at Ren a bit more seriously.] ...Those things I said back there, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean none of 'em. I just been shown so many stupid dreams what weren't real, or what were meant to screw with my head...that I lost it. I totally lost it, and I just--...

[He hangs his head, gripping his bent knees as he exhales.] No matter what, Ren, I'm gonna look out for you, keep you safe and happy. You're my li'l sis and I gotta do what's good for you from here on.

N'if I ever yell at'cha again, you sock me right in my ugly face, okay?

[The injuries on his hand catch her eye and the temptation to ask about it rests in the back of her mind. There's a tentative peace happening that she doesn't want to risk by opening that line of questioning. She could hold them on her own hands after he went to bed, maybe find bandages or something to soothe those injuries while he slept. That had been her spur of the moment plan, but-

He moves up and those tender words start coming out of his mouth and she-

Is terrified.

She expected a quiet moment, where some lowkey off the cuff comments might be made about those worlds. Something easy to ignore. Something to avoid. She wasn't sure what her mind had conjured up happening here, but facing this isn't what she expected and the desire to bury her face in the pillow, to hide, wells up in her. So she does that, briefly, because she doesn't know how to face this. All of this.

Lup says it to her too. Foolishly, without knowing, without understanding, confusing her for something more when she has no idea that it's wasted on her.

In her dream, nothing felt wasted. Lil sis and nii-chan and aunt and uncle felt right, because there was no risk in saying it. She didn't have to think about how accepting that word means one day he's going to stop looking at her with that kind expression, how she's going to make him sad and cause his face twist and make his words turn harsh. Cold.

He's apologizing and she doesn't know what to do. What to say. All she knows is that her fingers are twisting into this pillow so tight that her knuckles hurt, with an ache that doesn't compare to the ones he's sporting, but all she can think is-

He's going to be mad. They're going to be so mad and something's wrong with her. Maybe detrimental part that only doctors and scientists could see because she wants to hear lil sis again. Again and again and again. There's nothing in her brave enough to stop that and it's bad. It's bad. She shouldn't let it get this far. Doesn't know if she can take losing this many people who care about her enough to call her lil sis.

But she's bad and he'll see it one day. Maybe he can already tell by the shaky way she pushes herself up, how she stares at his eyes because he apologized and she doesn't know how to accept that outside of saying-]

That wasn't 'your Ren' and it wasn't-

[No matter how vivid and bright everything felt, it could never be-]

Real. So that kind of thing-it's okay. You don't have to say 'I'm sorry' and make that sad face. I'm very happy. When you look at me and 'hey angel' and 'I'm your anchor'-that makes me feel very warm.

[She's slow and cautious in her movements, but if he doesn't jerk away from her, she's going to press her hands over his knuckles and repeat-]

It's okay. I don't want to put socks on your pretty face. I won't do that kind of thing to you.

[It's a good thing Ren doesn't ask about Guzma's fresh injuries - he would either lie or avoid the question entirely. It's nothing he can't endure, but the principle is that he deals with his frustrations in very bad ways - anger mostly, but also self harm. Punching a tree hard, and long enough, until bark and splinters cut into your knuckles probably isn't a healthy way to deal with anything... Guzma knows that, he does in the back of his mind, but once he's past the point of no return mentally, it's hard to break free of the restraints of his fractured psyche.

But he sees something Ren that still makes him...wary. He sees fear, and it makes Guzma feels somewhat sick to his stomach. He doesn't want Ren to be afraid of him, even if he knows that's asking for a lot. He is frightening, he is violent, and it's not something he can easily change about himself. Guzma will continue to make mistakes, say harsh, mean things...and yell. He'll continue to be scary, but he doesn't want to be scary to her, and especially not at her, either.

It takes all he can do not to reach out and take Ren's hands to steady them - he knows from experience it's a terrible idea, but he wants her to know he's here for her. If he can see it in his expression, or how he also shrinks back a little when she looks so scared and ready to run away, then hopefully she can see how regretful he is that he made her feel that way. Like she has to hide from him. Guzma never, ever wants his precious little sister to feel like she needs to hide from him... He wouldn't hurt her. Not again.

Not ever again.

He lets her take his hands only when she feels she can, and Guzma still senses a bit of tension. She's speaking words, but she doesn't feel the true sincerity behind it. There's still something...something there. Something being hidden. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't pry it out of her, either. Guzma gazes as her little hand covering his much, much larger one and breathes out, chuckling softly with a shake of his head when she misinterprets his last sentence. Gosh, but she's cute...can endear herself to him so quickly it's scary.]

Nah, girl, that...that was you. I mean, in a way it was. Not completely, but it was still you on the inside, yeah? And that's what matters in the end. This place can play a whole lotta tricks on all'a us, make us better or worse n'what we really are...but end'a the day, we're the same as we are right now. We don't change unless we do it ourselves, yeah?

But know that whatever you become, you're my lil sis now and I'm gonna love you always. Au e aloha mai oe i mau. [He smiles, settles back, and begins to hum a new song, quietly to himself.]

[He doesn't understand.

It's her fault he doesn't get why it's wrong to say he loves her. A word that shouldn't be said in any capacity towards her because it changes things in a way she didn't expect. Her blood runs cold and when he settles back down, she rubs her fingers against the tops of his hands, as if trying to decide whether to clutch them or run away. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to fix this. She doesn't know how to look at someone who says they love her, knowing full well that love is going to shatter and hurt.

She's seen the way he could look at her and knew, even before, there would come a time when that anger is all she would see-that his eyes would burn when he looks at her, but not with love. She knew these attachments were cruel of her to form, knowing full well she was setting them up and now, it's impossible to ignore. She can't pretend love was meant to be said in passing, in the heat of the moment, in the midst of some kind of personal crises. That's-

Something real. Something she's definitely not supposed to have. Something she's not sure she knows the meaning of, but understands how it's supposed to be. She's seen love with her own two eyes, once. Read about it in books about family and friends.

She's not sure how long her hands have been wrapped around his or at what point her knuckles started to turn white because she doesn't want to let go. Can't let him go. Knows she'll have to let go and-

She's been holding her breath and notices only as the quiet hum reaches her ears.

Sometimes the elves look at her and she thinks there's love in their eyes, their voices, their hearts. Wonders if that warm, happy feeling that surges through her when they hold her hand or make meals that have come to be 'favorites' means that.

Sometimes that thought would strike her when she was with Guzma too, when he would shove cocoa in her hands and make sure she was comfortable by the hammock. When he said words like 'angel' and 'darlin' when she came within sight.

His hands are warm and she doesn't want to let go.]

When you-

[She can't think.]

Saying that to someone like me. I don't know if-

[It's allowed. He doesn't know. She'll have to leave him and he loves her and-

She's not supposed to have a family and they've given her that. She's not supposed to have a home and she has one. She's not supposed to have birthdays or siblings that live past their childhoods and they've given that to her.

She's not supposed to let bro or nii-chan stick in the back of her throat. It should be shoved far, far down. Not waiting to tumble out as she tries to form a coherent thought. One that comes out a simple request.]

Don't let go of my hands. I don't-I don't want you to.

[Someone like me. Those words are all that ring in Guzma's mind for a moment, and he has to bite down the flare of anger because there is no one on this island that is like her. Ren is...she's special. She's pure, and sweet, and kind, and way smarter and stronger than anyone gives her credit for. He's seen it, how she can keep a positive attitude in the worst situations, how she can comfort and care for others when she herself is petrified. There are a lot of forms of strength - he's learned that over months of being beaten to a pulp in battle by Luna, and training hard. He's seen it from his pokemon, who protect and fight for him to the best of their abilities. He's seen it from his idiot grunts, who ran the gauntlet just to get him back. Raw, brute strength like he has isn't all there is.

He almost regrets what he said. Almost. Because the fear on her face is so palpable that is feels like he's been hit in the face. All of a sudden he feels small, weak, and very vulnerable. Like he's facing down someone bigger than himself. Her fear is...contagious, and the guilt grows in his chest until it threatens to spew out words he doesn't mean. Apologies, I take it back, or other nonsense. He doesn't. He doesn't take it back. There's no way he ever would take back what he said, because it's all true. He loves this precious little girl so, so much. She and Luna have been pivotal people in his life and he couldn't think about not possibly loving them both. His little sisters. The only two he has left.

Don't let go of my hands.

He doesn't, despite how she looks, and how an uncertainty bubbles inside him - did he misspeak? Did he mess up? Did he say something wrong? Was it too soon for that? After everything... Guzma squeezes Ren's hand gently, brushes his thumb against the back of her much smaller hand, and exhales slowly.]

Ren, I wouldn't let you go for...for nothin'. [He smiles, thought its a little frayed around the edges.] So tell me what y'all are afraid of, darlin'... Why you shaking like that? I ain't gonna go no where.

[I wouldn't let go of you tumbles out of his mouth as easily as he hand fell out of hers all those days ago. The memory returns with a force she didn't expect and she has to keep her hold tight because he can let go. He will let go. There's a time when everyone's going to let go, so she has to be the one to hold them close, for as long as she can-until her knuckles turn pure white and her fingers cramp and-

He's a dangerous person to let go of because there's a real chance he won't come back.

And she's afraid of that. Terrified that he's going to see the bad part of her from the way her hands shake, so she tries to will herself to stop-definitely stop. She has to stop because it's a question she can't answer without outing everything she's worked so hard to hide over the last year.]

It's okay. I'm okay, so-

[The words are meant for her-to help calm down her racing heart, to avoid the question at hand, to do anything at all to avoiding focusing on the fact he loves her and then he won't.

He loves her and she's going to lose it. He loves her until she makes him sad by vanishing without a word. He loves her and she wants to hear it again because there's a terrible part of her that thinks it sounds nice, no matter how little she deserves it. How she shouldn't have it.]

You should hum again. You were smiling, so you should do that.

[He sighs. There's nothing else he can do, and maybe it's not the right thing to do or say, but he's not angry. He's not, but he is...disappointed? Hurt? Guzma can't exactly place what emotion he's feeling, but he know she's not being truthful - that she's hiding something deep, dark, and doesn't want to talk about it. He can respect that, certainly - there are things he hides about himself - but...]

Really wish you wouldn't lie t'me, Ren. [He Places one of his large hands on the top of her head, runs his fingers through her hair slowly.] You don't gotta tell me unless y'all is ready to, but don't tell me you're okay when I know you ain't. It's fine to not be okay, yeah? I haven't been okay since I was younger'n you. Ain't no one here gonna look at you diff'rent if y'all isn't perfect.

Pretty sure none'a us are, angel. 'Specially not me.

[The unexpected callout causes her whole body to tense, until his fingers start moving through her hair and that soothing action calms her down. It's his words that are the problem now. She isn't perfect-far from it and it's the thought of him realizing, eventually, how much is wrong with her that's the issue. He says no one will look at her differently, but she knows. Their expressions will change, their hearts will close up and she-

Won't be able to reach him.

The vice grip on his hand doesn't falter and instead of talking about any of this, she decides to hide from it. She presses her face against his chest, then turns her head to hear the thump thump thump of a heart that still loves her.]

Does something hurt you all the time? Is that why you're not okay?

[You don't become brave if people keep allowing you to hide, and you don't become honest if people keep allowing you to lie. Change is made from personal desire, yes, but friends and family certainly does have an impact, especially if they don't cater to your bad behavior. But perfection is a far cry from humanity in and of itself. No one is perfect, and he doesn't expect Ren to even be good by normal standards. He just wants her to be herself, but also to better herself.

That's why his heart will always love her, no matter what.

Guzma sighs, leaning his head back onto a pillow and closing his eyes. Haha, the million dollar question...where the hell does he even begin? It's not something he enjoys talking about, and he still doesn't really want to, even to someone like Ren. The scars - both physical and mental - are still raw and ache now and again. So, he takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. Not today. Not ever, probably, but he can at least answer her vaguely. She didn't see what he'd been through, should never have to see that. Should never know how heavily it impacted him since he was even younger than she is now.]

Yeah, kinda. [He rubs her arm, pulling her up against his side.] A cloud'a smoke I can't brush off. ...Don't worry about it, yeah? What I'm saying is, we all got our problems what don't go away, but that don't change how you n' me feel 'bout each other, right?

[It doesn't change anything.

That mantra has been in her mind for years. Don't wish for a cure, don't cry when the experiments are too much, don't get upset about being alone because it won't change. And for the first time, she's hearing it in another context. It's a phrase she can't hide behind. Something positive. Something she can repeat without feeling that hopeless, crushing wave of defeat that she knows is lurking in the back of her mind.

She keeps her face buried in his shirt, keeps that position by his side because it's safer and-

For once, she wants to say I love you back. Say it to him, to the elves, to Seto, to the multitude of people who treat her with kindness-who look past the messed up parts of her that feel painfully obvious when moments like this happen. Guzma can look at her, say I love you, hold her and she can't even turn her head up to meet his gaze.

Clinging this is wrong. Holding him to his words, when he doesn't know is worse, but for all the things she can't say, there are two words that come out, muffled by his shirt, but still loud enough to hear.]

Thank you.

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June Aftermath: Magic Lantern Strange

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cw: brief mention of self harm

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