lifeaftr | Its 4 sale OK

Entry tags:

Its 4 sale OK

Who: Magnus, Ren, Seto, one or both Hustle Twins, + YOU
What: store post
When: April? It's a store, it's always
Where: The temple
Warnings: caveat emptor. caveat everybody.

It's time for another store post! Now with like MATH% more employees than ever before. It's Ren's turn to name the store, so the sign declares this venue "Spicy Treasures," with maybe some extra flourishes courtesy of Taako. Here are the warez. If it's simple/small it's probably in stock, but there's a list of more complicated/less in-demand stuff that can be special ordered.

In addition to the above stock list, with the advent of one Magnus Burnsides, you can request hand carved artisanal woodwares. Ducks, uhhh boxes, furniture maybe? Maybe you just want him to pick up some heavy things? Or hunt? Rent-a-Mags. Maybe if you ask nice you can hug Johann for free.

Any one (or more, if Taako can find a way to rope them into working so he can get some peace) of the above-listed losers might be on staff, so you gotta pick. As always it's all barter system all the time here at Spicy Treasures, good luck.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

"I'm here to buy glue and get a duck."

If he doesn't get a duck, he's gonna be annoyed, because he realized the only thing he had to trade with was baskets and weed. He's pretty sure they can get baskets - this is some magic shit, surely you can magic up a basket - so that leaves weed and he's loathe to part with his weed but also: free duck. He was promised a potential duck and he wants one now.

"Wait, shit. I need a paintbrush too."

Who knew the ducks would be such a selling point? Lup, Lup knew, of course, but like, still. Taako doesn't have much of a read on this guy, but apparently he's into arts and crafts? Eh, why not.

"Sounds good to me, my dude. Gonna need to read you some terms and conditions, though. First, it's not a real duck, it's wood. Second, the glue isn't vegan. Aaaand keeping the pot it comes in costs extra." Taako ticks these terms off one by one, using his second-to-least sarcastic customer service voice. "How big a paintbrush we talkin'?"

Here comes a special boy. He's about fifty percent less stabbed than last time and one hundred percent interested in what anyone here can do in the way of helping him with his restaurant renovation efforts.

"I hear some people here are good with making spaces livable," he says without much preamble. "At least, that's what I'm gathering."

From Magnus, mostly.

"Glue is horses, of course it's not vegan." Connor shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket, which has some alarmingly blood-like stains on the front, and pulls out the contents. Weed, pen, paper with his grocery list written on it, swiss army knife - where the fuck did he put the paintbrush? "The duck thing is disappointing, but I guess I can put a knife on it. Then it'll be a knife-duck."

Oh, wait - he shoved the paintbrush in his hair, didn't he? Yup. That was definitely the smart place to keep something frequently covered in paint. Removing the plain, 1" paintbrush from where he'd stuck it through the shitty man bun he keeps his hair in, Connor holds it out.

"And I need another paintbrush like this, because I can't use this shit for glue. I need it for -" Wait, shit. He can't say what he's doing - the less people that know, the better. "The art project I'm doing."

"... Huh, so this is what you guys are doing?"

Hey everyone, it's Crow. He came to see what Seto and Ren were up to ~~instead of earning his keep around here~~, but he likes shiny things, so he's definitely going to be looking at what's on display here. He's also got his pet bird, "Quartermaster", somewhere in the scarf around his neck, so you might hear some tiny peeps and chirps from there or even get it to poke it's head out to look.

... Seto or Ren might need to keep an eye on him so that Crow doesn't steal anything for himself, though.

Edited 2018-04-09 14:55 (UTC)

Myia has found some spicy treasures.

She is very excited about the spicy treasures, and completely ignores whoever may be on staff to flutter her wings excitedly as she descends on the store front setup. She just grabs some smoked fish and, ooh, coconut oil, and unceremoniously shoves it into her bag, grin on her face. In actuality, she doesn't even realize the person on staff is there in the first place. She's far too nearsighted to notice them as anything more than a vague blur.

She is being extremely flagrant about the whole stealing venture and doesn't much care if she's caught, because she has little concept of stealing at all. Everything is hers once she puts her eyes on it.

"Hi Crow" And he can hear that chirps, so - "And hi Quartermaster."

Seto had decided to help out in the store because the elves were keeping him and Ren here. One kind turn deserves another, and all that. Besides, it's actually a whole lot of fun even if some of the ideas regarding stores went over Seto's head. He'd only seen the ruins of things like convince stores but he got the gist.

"There's a lot of really neat stuff here."

As squirrelly as this dude is being, 'art project' still barely gets a raised eyebrow out of him. What people do with his artisanal wares after purchase is what is known in the business as Not Taako's Problem; Connor can eat the glue for all he cares. Stains, blood or otherwise, are in the same category, unless this guy is looking to buy laundry sauce.

"Knife-duck, huh? You know, there's probably a market for that," he says, with an entrepreneurial gleam in his eye. Give him a month and it'll be a Taako Original. The brush gets hardly a glance, that's no problem, probably. He'll cross that bridge upon payment. 'S just hair, right? Like, big hair? He can get hair. The various pocket detritus Connor pulls out, however, is met with more pointed interest.

"There'd be a uh, slight turnaround on the brush, but it's doable, no charge if it isn't. What're we talking for payment?"

It's fine, Taako has come to understand that Tim is one person, at least, he can beat in a Social Skills roll pretty fairly. So if he wants to come in with no greeting like this is some kind of carpentry-based speakeasy, that's cool, Taako can be the person here.

"I mean, depends on how low your standards are. Livable covers a lot of territory these days. What are you looking for specifically?" Magnus, probably. Which is why it's a good thing Taako is here instead, to act as his manager.

“Specifically? Trying to renovate a broken down mess hall into something people can actually eat and work in.” He has it on relatively good authority that these elves are talented cooks, among other things. Dope roasts and all.

He doesn’t even have to pretend to be nonchalant. The exhaustion does all of it for him.

“Interested?”

Look, the twins are the last people who are gonna be some sort of fantasy racist, that would be dumb any way you look at it. It's just, an elf sized fly person walking up to the store like that's a thing that can just happen is, it's a lot to take in? Those sure are real actual wings vibrating at her back and why does it suddenly feel like their counter is a garbage dump? Boy, that's a lot of fake ass jewelry. She better not try to pay with any of that shit. Lup throws Taako a preemptively judgmental look, a revving of the engines.

And when she looks back, the fly is shoving wares into her bag like there's no tomorrow. Like, right in front of them? The people who own this stuff, and also the entire island pretty much? Lup doesn't even.

"Hey so, just checking, is this a robbery? Like, are you-- is this what you think stealing looks like? Thing is, I wanna know if I'm 'bout to light your ass on fire or learn you some capitalism."

"Two options. One: once you give me the brush then I give you a table. Like two weeks turnaround, everyone fucking knows where I live so you can shake me down for it if I don't deliver. I also do chairs and boxes, but tables are impressive and shit." God, he really fucking hopes they want a table. He really doesn't want to give up his weed. "Two: I just finished curing my asshole neighbor's weed, which he definitely gave me and I did not steal for once."

Connor waves the baggie he brought the weed in because some habits are hard to break. He literally kept this stupid plastic baggie for the day when he'd have weed again.

"I give you enough of this for two joints and we call it even because this shit has takes almost a month to cure properly and is an artisanal fucking product."

He doesn't exactly know how the weird magic that lets these people duplicate and create things works? But he's fairly certain that you can't magic up just anything, because he gets the distinct feeling there would be a lot more stuff for sale here if you could just snap your fingers and make things. Conservation of mass and all that jazz because magic always has rules, even if it is magic.

Anyway, the point is that if this is Island Walmart then by definition his weed is artisanal and that has to count for something.

Edited 2018-04-10 23:52 (UTC)

Taako is operating at only about %75 of his judgmental capacity, so he just shrugs in response. Nothing wrong with fake jewelry, except as currency--Lup got the lion's share of the standards, between them, as is sometimes obvious. So what if she's a fly, Taako bought a blanket from a spider in like his first week of storekeeping, he's over it.

That she's gleefully shoveling stuff into a bag like the place is going under is a bit higher on his list, and he flattens his ears back in disbelief, mouth agape. There's a joke about flies getting in, somewhere in here, that he's too stunned and outraged to think of.

"I mean, I get it, it's good shit and stealing is fun, but you can't-- This is a business, you're not even trying!"

It's going to be Laurent's birthday soon, and Damen, unfortunately, needs something he's not entirely sure it's possible to acquire on this island. If there's anybody who can get him what he needs, however, it's likely to be one of the people at the island trading post. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a ton of things to trade with, which is why he came empty-handed. It's fucking fine, he'll pay this off forever if they can make what he needs.

"I was told if I needed to acquire something, this would be the place to ask about it." Damen hesitates for a moment. "I need a circlet of horses."

"Yeah, I can see that..."

Crow picks up one of the utensils and a bone comb, holding each to the light above him here for a moment. QT peeks out of the scarf for a second to see what Crow is looking at, before giving a peep of approval.

"Where did they even get these around here?"

...that's a good point, actually.

"Maybe from looking around?" Like Seto did, back home. He had an amazing collection of dead people's junk that sadly didn't come with him. "Or they might have asked the Storyteller for things."

Which reminds him that he needs to get stuff for certain people's birthdays. Hum...

(Un)fortunately, while this might be the place, Ren's not the potential horse wrangler he's looking for. Maybe she's here to cover someone's break? Whatever. Either way, she stops stacking the pieces of soap on the counter and offers her full attention. A circlet of horses? Nani the heck.

"I don't know what that is," She glances around her to find some Maribelle looking items, but there's nothing behind the counter even vaguely horse shaped. Weh. "Is it a treasure?"

"Huh... do you think if I asked that Storyteller guy, he could give us some more shiny things? Or even a book? I haven't thought to do so yet."

No guesses for what book Crow would probably ask for, here...

Myia still can't see the people who just suddenly started talking at her in high, unfamiliar voices, so when she starts hearing scores for her stealing technique she startles and jumps, recoiling back into a defensive pose.

It's not that defensive. Her twiggy, chitinous arms can't protect her from much.

"Who's there! Not stealing! You're lying! Get arrested for lying!" she says, grabbing two containers of salt to doublefist like weapons. "You a slug? Slugs selling salt! Bad plan!"

Against his better judgment (what else is new) he is starting to find this vaguely irritable rando pretty tolerable, and not just because he's waving weed in his face. Though the baggie definitely has a good portion of Taako's focus here, ears pitched and calculating, like he's trying to cheat at a shell game. Been awhile since someone brought something truly interesting in to the trading post, and this is a few rungs above coconuts on the value ladder, for sure.

"Think I'm gonna have to go with door number two, homie." He's not sure how much he buys the 'not stolen' bit, or the 'artisanal' bit either, honestly, but it's not like it matters. "We got a guy who does tables, what we don't have is a weed guy." But it sounds like they do now, maybe. Just in time, too.

"What's your name, weed guy?"

Now there's a thought, but it's not one Taako is quite ready to latch on to, tipping an ear back warily like maybe he suspects something is sneaking up on him.

"In cooking? Or renovating?"

"Either one." Honestly, he's not picky. "Or both. If you help put the place together, you can even move in."

They seem fine running their Walmart outta the Storyteller's Temple, but he wouldn't blame them for wanting to switch up locations and get off the rabbit's proverbial lawn. Then again, considering how long they've stuck around, maybe they just straight up don't mind.

God fucking dammit. Whatever. Whatever, he can get more weed. It's fine, it's right there and Ichimatsu told him he could help himself - which necessitates curing it and shit because you can't smoke weed straight off the plant and god why does everything have to be so difficult on the island?

"CJ," he says, instead of being a drama queen out loud. It's pronounced like siege, for whatever reason, and he only introduces himself like this because you don't?? Tell people your real name?? When you're dealing weed??? "And just to be clear here, I'm not a fucking dealer."

He hasn't been a dealer since his parents sent him to rehab like two years ago and even then he hadn't really been a dealer. He just occasionally gave people weed, if they needed it and they knew where to find him.

Yeah, Seto doesn't need a guess to figure out what book Crow is talking about.

"Probably? Me and Ren got some water for a dog's garden so they're probably okay with other stuff."

And that's probably when everyone else got stuff? So it should be good to go.

"In that case, I'm thinking we should get some books, more coins and screws, maybe some crayons... oh, something for Quartermaster too, but I don't know what yet."

What do birds like? They like shiny things obviously, but what else do birds like playing with?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 3

Its 4 sale OK

i legitimately do not care who replies

this is what you get, It's Time

anyone tbh

no subject

anyone really

for anyone

hey buddy :D

no subject

no subject

no subject

elf #1

no subject

no subject

i still don't care which of you replies

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject