lifeaftr | Its 4 sale OK

Who: Magnus, Ren, Seto, one or both Hustle Twins, + YOU
What: store post
When: April? It's a store, it's always
Where: The temple
Warnings: caveat emptor. caveat everybody.

It's time for another store post! Now with like MATH% more employees than ever before. It's Ren's turn to name the store, so the sign declares this venue "Spicy Treasures," with maybe some extra flourishes courtesy of Taako. Here are the warez. If it's simple/small it's probably in stock, but there's a list of more complicated/less in-demand stuff that can be special ordered.

In addition to the above stock list, with the advent of one Magnus Burnsides, you can request hand carved artisanal woodwares. Ducks, uhhh boxes, furniture maybe? Maybe you just want him to pick up some heavy things? Or hunt? Rent-a-Mags. Maybe if you ask nice you can hug Johann for free.

Any one (or more, if Taako can find a way to rope them into working so he can get some peace) of the above-listed losers might be on staff, so you gotta pick. As always it's all barter system all the time here at Spicy Treasures, good luck.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Two options. One: once you give me the brush then I give you a table. Like two weeks turnaround, everyone fucking knows where I live so you can shake me down for it if I don't deliver. I also do chairs and boxes, but tables are impressive and shit." God, he really fucking hopes they want a table. He really doesn't want to give up his weed. "Two: I just finished curing my asshole neighbor's weed, which he definitely gave me and I did not steal for once."

Connor waves the baggie he brought the weed in because some habits are hard to break. He literally kept this stupid plastic baggie for the day when he'd have weed again.

"I give you enough of this for two joints and we call it even because this shit has takes almost a month to cure properly and is an artisanal fucking product."

He doesn't exactly know how the weird magic that lets these people duplicate and create things works? But he's fairly certain that you can't magic up just anything, because he gets the distinct feeling there would be a lot more stuff for sale here if you could just snap your fingers and make things. Conservation of mass and all that jazz because magic always has rules, even if it is magic.

Anyway, the point is that if this is Island Walmart then by definition his weed is artisanal and that has to count for something.

Edited 2018-04-10 23:52 (UTC)

Against his better judgment (what else is new) he is starting to find this vaguely irritable rando pretty tolerable, and not just because he's waving weed in his face. Though the baggie definitely has a good portion of Taako's focus here, ears pitched and calculating, like he's trying to cheat at a shell game. Been awhile since someone brought something truly interesting in to the trading post, and this is a few rungs above coconuts on the value ladder, for sure.

"Think I'm gonna have to go with door number two, homie." He's not sure how much he buys the 'not stolen' bit, or the 'artisanal' bit either, honestly, but it's not like it matters. "We got a guy who does tables, what we don't have is a weed guy." But it sounds like they do now, maybe. Just in time, too.

"What's your name, weed guy?"

God fucking dammit. Whatever. Whatever, he can get more weed. It's fine, it's right there and Ichimatsu told him he could help himself - which necessitates curing it and shit because you can't smoke weed straight off the plant and god why does everything have to be so difficult on the island?

"CJ," he says, instead of being a drama queen out loud. It's pronounced like siege, for whatever reason, and he only introduces himself like this because you don't?? Tell people your real name?? When you're dealing weed??? "And just to be clear here, I'm not a fucking dealer."

He hasn't been a dealer since his parents sent him to rehab like two years ago and even then he hadn't really been a dealer. He just occasionally gave people weed, if they needed it and they knew where to find him.

Sure, weed guy. Ceej. Taako does an admirable job of not laughing at the dude, though at the same time...well, he doesn't feel bad, per se, but it seems like maybe he's depriving this dude of a much needed resource. But if he's been hittin it it sure doesn't seem to have helped much, so probably it's just one of those things.

Why weed guy feels he needs to protest so much is beyond Taako's admittedly unique comprehension as well. Is anyone really living their best life here on stank island? If buying stuff with weed is the worst thing that's happened to him, he should probably consider himself lucky. Taako sniffs, rolls his eyes, but isn't wholly unsympathetic. "Yeah, and I'm not a store clerk, I'm an extra-planar-wizard-chef. How much do you think that matters?"

With that pronouncement, he turns his attention to rummaging through the chaotic mess of merchandise, digging up a serving of glue, in a regrettably nice-ish wooden pot. "Gimme a couple days for the brush, and I won't even send the muscle over to get the jar back. Sound a like a deal, CJ?"

"I'm saying that because I don't have enough of this shit to be a dealer."

He could, but it'd involve spending favors he's not sure he wants to on an actual greenhouse and more plants. Maybe later. Definitely later, but right now he's just trying to figure out how the fuck to grow plants without killing them. It's weird and different without all the high-tech shit he used to have and he was never much of a gardener to begin with.

"Anyway, it's a deal. I'll even bring your pot back when I'm done."

"Cool. They don't grow on trees, you know," he grouses, but it's good-natured enough. Truthfully, now that he's been doing this awhile, there's not so much of a crunch to make random goods at just ass-busting speed these days. Which is not something he's going to complain about in the slightest, since he's still clearly indispensable.

"I'll send the brush with whoever's got store duty when it's done, shoot you a heads up on the Stone. You get to be the proud owner of a Taako Original, cuz it'll be a first run item." It's fine. He's sure he'll figure it out. He rummages slightly differently and produces a duck. The duck. Not that it's not a fine duck, but that this is a selling point is still-- well, no accounting for taste. "Hey, if you do make a knife-duck, bring that by for sure. Proof of purchase, right?"

He grins, lazy and crooked. So weed guy's supply is limited now; doesn't mean that'll always be the case. "And just remember, weed is universal currency, my dude."

"Pretty sure that's sex, actually." Connor takes the duck without promising to bring it back if he makes a knife duck. That would require actually coming back specifically to talk to this one? And he likes the other one better, sort of. Munin likes Lup and Connor likes the Jormun better than 85% of people here so anyone they like is automatically better than average. "But I'm not androgynous enough for that, so sure."

Oof, the edge on this one. Taako is pretty sure weed is a much less subjective form of currency, but-- you know what, he's not going to dig into it, that's a non-starter anyway. "What kind of store do you think this is? Think you better stick with the weed." It's only a helpful tip, given in good humour.

"Hey, to clarify-- were you expecting a real live duck? I legitimately can't tell."

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