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lifeaftr2019-02-10 06:52 am
savedbyasong) wrote in lifeaftr2019-02-10 06:52 am
Breaking point (OTA)
Who: Shion and open
What: A lot has happened and Shion needs a moment to deal with it.
When: Leading up to and including 10th February
Where: Islets, Enso, Story tellers temple
Warnings: Hopelessness, despair, verge of giving up, contemplating death/maybe bordering on suicidal ideation, grief
Days leading up to the 10th
[As was often the way everything had happened on top of each other until there was not any time to even breathe never mind process what had happened and how he felt about it. The trials, seeing Prompto's fear as he was faced with questions that he wasn't sure he knew the answers to. Seeing everyone struggle in bodies that weren't their own. Shion figuring out Chip's powers trying to figure out how they thought and acted. Not to mention just the fact they had been in other bodies. What that told him, how much that lessened the chances of any of this being actual... reality.
Then he had been missing, for a month with no knowledge or awareness of where he had been. He hadn't had any strange dreams this time, he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He had returned to shadows and light shadows. Nezumi... Or Nezumi's shadow Shion hoped, had made it very clear he didn't trust Shion, Nezumi's light had made him see why. Tim had... Again Shion hoped it was Tim's shadow. But that didn't really make it any better. Shion's shadow had been the darkness inside him, so that meant there was a part of Tim that truly thought it would be better if Shion was dead.
If Shion thought for a moment that his death would actually solve anything, absolve him of anything he'd done or help any of his friends he would not hesitate. But he would just come back. It would solve nothing, he had died twenty one times before, it was not a magic fix.
All of that. Everything that had happened with the shadows, with the light shadows. All paled in comparison to the fact that Aster was gone. Her things were still here but... Thelassa and Excalibur were not. Peoples things didn't disappear when they did here, there was no obvious way to tell the difference between them leaving for a short while and being gone forever. But the fact the animals were gone... Shion was smart. He could use logic.
She was gone. If he had ever contemplated losing her he would have expected anger, pain but what he got instead was numbness. He was exhausted and once everything seemed to quiet down he just... stopped. He was vagualy aware that Monsun was back, that the island was in danger because of the animals from Ziziphus. He was aware that's where most people were and he should help but...
Going to Monsun was not a good idea. He had been there once, felt for himself the effects it had. It was not a safe place. He should help but... It controlled you, in an obvious way. Good or bad Shion couldn't bring himself to be somewhere where how he felt and acted was controlled. So he stayed on the islets.
Specifically in his hut, it felt too large, too empty. He feared seeing Nezumi, though he shouldn't let this place get to him. He hadn't seen or heard from Ceej, he should go and check on him. But he fears if Ceej is gone then he won't be able to hold back the wave, it would overwhelm him, crush him. So he stayed, only leaving when Cobweb nudged him out to gather water. Sleeping was difficult, he hadn't appreciated how much Excalibur staved away the worst of the nightmares until they reached up to grip him. When he could sleep at all. He hadn't slept alone in years and so many nights he lay awake.
He tried to keep up a facade of normalness, if anyone visited him they would be welcomed with a shaky smile and an offer of a drink. It probably fooled no one.]
10th February. Around the Story Tellers Temple.
[It was Faust's message on the stones that brought him out of his stupour. He hadn't even realised that Nari was gone. He should have known that. He should have found out what was happening, checked that everyone was alright. Instead of moping around, being useless. He scrubbed his hands against his face. Reno would be ashamed of him. Once again he had fallen into bad habits. Once again he had let things get to him. Aster would be ashamed of him, could he really even now not keep going without having someone to make him get up?
He's exhausted but he was also determined. He would go and meet Faust and offer his help. It was one of the few skills he actually had and Faust seemed happy to have help in a way Nari had not.
After his interview with Faust he felt more... Like things were maybe going to be alright. He made his way to the Story Tellers temple, to the rock. It was used less now that everyone had a story stone but it was still worth looking.
He pauses outside the temple. He's been here a year now and this place feels... It's sometimes awful but never as awful as the tower, he has friends here, people he cares about. Home has long since stopped meaning No. 6 but he guesses, it sort of means these islands now. Time had been a little... fuzzy when he first arrived, but looking back and guessing. It's probably about a year since he had met Connor... Here in this very courtyard.
I will gladly fucking sit here all day and do your nails, okay? This is like my favorite things to do in the entire world and I have literally nothing better to be doing.
He really should go and find him, check that he's still here.] Stop being a coward Shion.
Memorial Garden, Story tellers temple
[It had been wrecked. The storms and the attacks and the creatures. The garden was a mess and for a moment Shion just stared at it in numb helplessness.
But he had made it for a reason. A place to remember those who disappeared, a place to remind them what they were fighting for.
So he took a breath and got to work. Pots had to be righted, plants salvaged. Some couldn't be but he could plant new ones. He began making a list of things he needed to collect. He brushed out excess sand with his hands, picked up broken shells. Cracked pots could be repaired.
He threw himself into the task, back and forth from the islets to the temple, things for fixing, new things to replace the unfix-able. New plants carefully dug from his garden and transported. Anyone nearby got a cautious smile and an open invitation to join him. This place was for everybody.
It took hours, the day moved into evening and still he wasn't done. There were more memorials to make, to those who did not yet have one.
He didn't know everyone who had disappeared lately, he should... There had to be a way to figure out who was here... He would think of something. It was bad that people could arrive here and disappear with no one ever really knowing.
He makes memorials for CT and Nari first. Flowers and shells in coconut bowls with their names on. Hopefully those who knew them better, their friends, would add to them, make them more personal.] We won't forget you...
Memorial Garden; Night time
[He saved Aster's until last. He knew it would be painful. But remembering was painful. That didn't mean they shouldn't do it. Aster flowers obviously, but also purples and blues. Blues for her eyes, if he closed his eyes he could still see hers, too close as she pressed her forehead against his. Eyes blazing in anger as she defended those she cared for, eyes crinkled in laughter at Thalassa's antics.
His sister. Someone who had changed his life in so many ways. They had said goodbye, over a year ago. When they escaped the tower. They had said goodbye, knowing they would probably never see each other again. knowing they both had to go back to their worlds and that sometimes the right thing was a painful and lonely choice.
They had not expected this place, Shion still remembered the ice. Mu. The strange dream where nothing made sense but it didn't matter because it meant he got to hug her one last time. But it hadn't been the last time.
As hard as this year had been. As awful as it was that once again they were trapped, their lives spent like puppets dangling on a string for some unknown force's amusement. He had had ten months with her. Ten months that he had not been expecting. He should feel anger that she was ripped away from him and he does. But it is directionless, he doesn't have anyone to fight. Not for this. They didn't know who brought them here, who took them away. Ten months of seeing her grow, become more confident. Face down the world.
He missed her so much already. What was he going to do without her? She was the brave one, the strong one. The one who could survive, the one who made Reno so proud. He had always marvelled that she even put up with him. She had made him more, like all his family. And now she was gone.
She might return, Reno had in the tower. Gone for an age and then returned. But... She might not. Many hadn't. They were siblings but they were born of different worlds, he knew that there was the biggest chance that he would never see her again. That their last evening before they got stolen into the trials was his last memory of her.
As last memories go it's not bad. At least there's that. A mountain of seashells were needed for this, the seashells had been her thing. Back in the tower, seashells on the graves. Tears welled up in his eyes as he dropped shell after shell onto her memorial. She was gone. No more would he hear her voice, no more would he feel her arms around him calming him. No more would they sit trying to figure out the mysteries of this place. The last of his family. Gone.
Shion had never considered a heart breaking to be a physical thing before, but there was pain that lanced through his chest as he knelt over the makeshift grave, seashells crushed between his fingers as he sobbed.]
What: A lot has happened and Shion needs a moment to deal with it.
When: Leading up to and including 10th February
Where: Islets, Enso, Story tellers temple
Warnings: Hopelessness, despair, verge of giving up, contemplating death/maybe bordering on suicidal ideation, grief
Days leading up to the 10th
[As was often the way everything had happened on top of each other until there was not any time to even breathe never mind process what had happened and how he felt about it. The trials, seeing Prompto's fear as he was faced with questions that he wasn't sure he knew the answers to. Seeing everyone struggle in bodies that weren't their own. Shion figuring out Chip's powers trying to figure out how they thought and acted. Not to mention just the fact they had been in other bodies. What that told him, how much that lessened the chances of any of this being actual... reality.
Then he had been missing, for a month with no knowledge or awareness of where he had been. He hadn't had any strange dreams this time, he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He had returned to shadows and light shadows. Nezumi... Or Nezumi's shadow Shion hoped, had made it very clear he didn't trust Shion, Nezumi's light had made him see why. Tim had... Again Shion hoped it was Tim's shadow. But that didn't really make it any better. Shion's shadow had been the darkness inside him, so that meant there was a part of Tim that truly thought it would be better if Shion was dead.
If Shion thought for a moment that his death would actually solve anything, absolve him of anything he'd done or help any of his friends he would not hesitate. But he would just come back. It would solve nothing, he had died twenty one times before, it was not a magic fix.
All of that. Everything that had happened with the shadows, with the light shadows. All paled in comparison to the fact that Aster was gone. Her things were still here but... Thelassa and Excalibur were not. Peoples things didn't disappear when they did here, there was no obvious way to tell the difference between them leaving for a short while and being gone forever. But the fact the animals were gone... Shion was smart. He could use logic.
She was gone. If he had ever contemplated losing her he would have expected anger, pain but what he got instead was numbness. He was exhausted and once everything seemed to quiet down he just... stopped. He was vagualy aware that Monsun was back, that the island was in danger because of the animals from Ziziphus. He was aware that's where most people were and he should help but...
Going to Monsun was not a good idea. He had been there once, felt for himself the effects it had. It was not a safe place. He should help but... It controlled you, in an obvious way. Good or bad Shion couldn't bring himself to be somewhere where how he felt and acted was controlled. So he stayed on the islets.
Specifically in his hut, it felt too large, too empty. He feared seeing Nezumi, though he shouldn't let this place get to him. He hadn't seen or heard from Ceej, he should go and check on him. But he fears if Ceej is gone then he won't be able to hold back the wave, it would overwhelm him, crush him. So he stayed, only leaving when Cobweb nudged him out to gather water. Sleeping was difficult, he hadn't appreciated how much Excalibur staved away the worst of the nightmares until they reached up to grip him. When he could sleep at all. He hadn't slept alone in years and so many nights he lay awake.
He tried to keep up a facade of normalness, if anyone visited him they would be welcomed with a shaky smile and an offer of a drink. It probably fooled no one.]
10th February. Around the Story Tellers Temple.
[It was Faust's message on the stones that brought him out of his stupour. He hadn't even realised that Nari was gone. He should have known that. He should have found out what was happening, checked that everyone was alright. Instead of moping around, being useless. He scrubbed his hands against his face. Reno would be ashamed of him. Once again he had fallen into bad habits. Once again he had let things get to him. Aster would be ashamed of him, could he really even now not keep going without having someone to make him get up?
He's exhausted but he was also determined. He would go and meet Faust and offer his help. It was one of the few skills he actually had and Faust seemed happy to have help in a way Nari had not.
After his interview with Faust he felt more... Like things were maybe going to be alright. He made his way to the Story Tellers temple, to the rock. It was used less now that everyone had a story stone but it was still worth looking.
He pauses outside the temple. He's been here a year now and this place feels... It's sometimes awful but never as awful as the tower, he has friends here, people he cares about. Home has long since stopped meaning No. 6 but he guesses, it sort of means these islands now. Time had been a little... fuzzy when he first arrived, but looking back and guessing. It's probably about a year since he had met Connor... Here in this very courtyard.
I will gladly fucking sit here all day and do your nails, okay? This is like my favorite things to do in the entire world and I have literally nothing better to be doing.
He really should go and find him, check that he's still here.] Stop being a coward Shion.
Memorial Garden, Story tellers temple
[It had been wrecked. The storms and the attacks and the creatures. The garden was a mess and for a moment Shion just stared at it in numb helplessness.
But he had made it for a reason. A place to remember those who disappeared, a place to remind them what they were fighting for.
So he took a breath and got to work. Pots had to be righted, plants salvaged. Some couldn't be but he could plant new ones. He began making a list of things he needed to collect. He brushed out excess sand with his hands, picked up broken shells. Cracked pots could be repaired.
He threw himself into the task, back and forth from the islets to the temple, things for fixing, new things to replace the unfix-able. New plants carefully dug from his garden and transported. Anyone nearby got a cautious smile and an open invitation to join him. This place was for everybody.
It took hours, the day moved into evening and still he wasn't done. There were more memorials to make, to those who did not yet have one.
He didn't know everyone who had disappeared lately, he should... There had to be a way to figure out who was here... He would think of something. It was bad that people could arrive here and disappear with no one ever really knowing.
He makes memorials for CT and Nari first. Flowers and shells in coconut bowls with their names on. Hopefully those who knew them better, their friends, would add to them, make them more personal.] We won't forget you...
Memorial Garden; Night time
[He saved Aster's until last. He knew it would be painful. But remembering was painful. That didn't mean they shouldn't do it. Aster flowers obviously, but also purples and blues. Blues for her eyes, if he closed his eyes he could still see hers, too close as she pressed her forehead against his. Eyes blazing in anger as she defended those she cared for, eyes crinkled in laughter at Thalassa's antics.
His sister. Someone who had changed his life in so many ways. They had said goodbye, over a year ago. When they escaped the tower. They had said goodbye, knowing they would probably never see each other again. knowing they both had to go back to their worlds and that sometimes the right thing was a painful and lonely choice.
They had not expected this place, Shion still remembered the ice. Mu. The strange dream where nothing made sense but it didn't matter because it meant he got to hug her one last time. But it hadn't been the last time.
As hard as this year had been. As awful as it was that once again they were trapped, their lives spent like puppets dangling on a string for some unknown force's amusement. He had had ten months with her. Ten months that he had not been expecting. He should feel anger that she was ripped away from him and he does. But it is directionless, he doesn't have anyone to fight. Not for this. They didn't know who brought them here, who took them away. Ten months of seeing her grow, become more confident. Face down the world.
He missed her so much already. What was he going to do without her? She was the brave one, the strong one. The one who could survive, the one who made Reno so proud. He had always marvelled that she even put up with him. She had made him more, like all his family. And now she was gone.
She might return, Reno had in the tower. Gone for an age and then returned. But... She might not. Many hadn't. They were siblings but they were born of different worlds, he knew that there was the biggest chance that he would never see her again. That their last evening before they got stolen into the trials was his last memory of her.
As last memories go it's not bad. At least there's that. A mountain of seashells were needed for this, the seashells had been her thing. Back in the tower, seashells on the graves. Tears welled up in his eyes as he dropped shell after shell onto her memorial. She was gone. No more would he hear her voice, no more would he feel her arms around him calming him. No more would they sit trying to figure out the mysteries of this place. The last of his family. Gone.
Shion had never considered a heart breaking to be a physical thing before, but there was pain that lanced through his chest as he knelt over the makeshift grave, seashells crushed between his fingers as he sobbed.]
sounds good!
Instead he moves a little, he doesn't leave. Just busies himself in work a decent distance away. If Laurent needs him he is close, but otherwise he will give Laurent privacy to do this in his own way.]