lifeaftr | Exploration Event: Neverwere

EXPLORATION EVENT: NEVERWERE

Who: Everyone!
What: Your wildest dreams come true!
When: May 15th to May 18th
Where: Ziziphus, those still on Ensō...and Mu
Warnings: Mark as needed!

Then Know That My Life Was Just a Killer Dream
You can find most of the information you need in the OOC info post! In the meantime, feel free to use this log as a catch-all for your dream worlds, as well as detailing your efforts to free one another. Whether they're on Ziziphus or Ensō at the time of the dreams' capture, your character is free to access as many dreams as you like, as the interlocking mental landscape allows for that sort of crossing over apropos of nothing. And time, of course, is very fluid in dreams - many days, months, and years can transpire in a matter of mere minutes.

Will you fight your way free from Ziziphus's vines or Mu's thrall, or are you content to die in your sleep?

Remember to let us know if your character dies during this event!

Event Timeline

[ ♆ ] May 15th: The vines make their move, ensnaring characters in ideal fantasy worlds
[ ♆ ] May 17th: The Storyteller will make contact with those they can, as well as issue information and a potential solution
[ ♆ ] May 18th: Those that have not freed themselves from the vines or from Mu will suffer a death

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, hey - [Connor turns towards Shion's voice, a smile on his face that fades into confusion when he sees what Shion's wearing.] Shion? Are you okay? You look -

[Wrong. It's all wrong, and he's actually known it this whole time but if there's anything Connor's good at it's ignoring when things don't feel right. He can explain so many things away by just telling himself it's the paranoia, he's overthinking things - whatever it is. He has a hundred excuses lined up in his head.]

- did something happen?

Yes... [Seeing that smile fade hurt. He's never seen Ceej as happy as he was in this dream and he knows that that is probably because in reality Ceej wasn't this happy.

It wasn't real. It was killing Ceej.] You fell asleep. This isn't real Ceej.

When... [Grief and heartbreak. There were tears in his eyes but those eyes were determined.] When we first met you told me the story of a little lonely prince who lived on a planet with a rose... How you used to look out your window with a hope that the prince would come and be your friend. But it was you that travelled... To another world. You're sleeping Ceej, these people aren't your friends. They aren't real. [He concentrated, bad memories, grief, heartbreak. It's Ceej's own words he thinks of. Him and the other boy, on the boat.

Because I'll kill myself again. I have no fucking qualms about dying.

You killed yourself?

I fucking did. And then I did it again! Because I'm still a fucking useless basketcase!

The words echoed in the dream. Working their way into the cracks. Shion had wondered often in the last few months what he had become. Sometimes he didn't recognise himself, he had done monstrous things.

But this was one of the cruelest things he had ever done.

You know why I'm so fucked up? I'm not worth the cost of treatment. I'm not worth anything, because I'm not perfect little Zoe with her perfectly neurotypical brain.

Ceej was never going to forgive him, Shion was never going to forgive himself.]

Edited 2018-06-01 16:47 (UTC)

I never meant to drag you into this. [It's not argumentative or defensive like Connor usually tends to get. Instead, it's just . . . devastated.] I never thought that it would go this far.

[His voice cracks, and Connor exhales shakily. There's music, faint and distant, that Connor doesn't seem to fully acknowledge.]

I just wanted to have part of this - I've never felt this kind of bliss before. I've never had that perfect boy who somehow could see the good parts of me.

[Connor steps closer, raising a hand like he means to touch Shion before letting it drop and shaking his head. As he does, the trees flicker between being beautiful and being overgrown because Connor's trying his damndest not to let the dream falter. Sometimes you see everything you wanted and sometimes, you see everything you wish you had! And it's right there in front of you, and you want to believe it's true, so you make it true.

And you think maybe everybody wants it and needs it a little bit too.]

[Shion can hear the music, not like any other music he's ever heard before. Sad and pretty and Ceej's words fit it.

He reaches out to touch Ceej's hand, because even though he's not the Shion that this Connor loves, the dorky boyfriend who likes science and actually understands the things Ceej says, Ceej is still his friend, he cares about him. But now is the time for devestation.]

This was just a grand invention... It wasn't real I know [He's fighting Connor now, his mind against his friend. Trying to wreck this world, turning this orchard into the forest of Ziziphus, letting the rot permeate through.]

But we were happy, I guess... It hurts to let that go. It hurts to give that up. [Ceej's house all the traps and stake pits to keep people out. He's not sure where his words are coming from, he thought he was beyond finding words for this.] I guess we wanted to believe.. because if we just believed we wouldn't see what's really there.

[Tears are streaming down his face now as he throws out every bad memory he can but he keeps going.]

Yeah. I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken parts - pretend I'm something better than this mess that I am, 'cause if I don't have to look at it -

{If no one gets a look at it, no one can really see how fucked up he is. All the messy contradictions and poor coping mechanisms that have somehow formed into something that passes for a human being. This is what he gets for not keeping to himself, so people won't know anything about him. Won't learn his mistakes. Won't see the worst things he has to offer before any of the good.

Everyone always ends up seeing the worst of him.]

[Because what if everyone saw? Shion's heart is breaking for Connor because this... he feels like this so much too. Trying to be better, trying to pretend that he was more than just a mess. That he had it together and was coping when really... He doesn't have to keep the monsters that live in his head in here, he lets them out. They can eat at this dream.

And Ceej. He had so many skills, he was kind. But he felt like this too. Like he had to hide, his house full of traps. Keeping people out. The fear that someone might get to know him, the real him.

Would they like what they saw?

He lashed out at the orchard, the trees were dying now. Vines creaping up them, rotting the world from the inside. He sent flashes of monsters, Tim broken and hurting. Ren tiny and terrified. Every bad memory of the islands he lashed out with. Breaking apart the very fabric of the dream.]

Will you keep running away from what's true?

All I ever do is run.

[Connor squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head. The sun starts rapidly setting and rising again - if Shion were to count, there would be exactly 44 sunsets - before rising and staying stuck at the highest point. There's a deep, shuddering breath from Connor, and the dream begins to actually break away.]

But I can step in - step into the sun.

[That's not what this feels like, though. It feels like his heart is breaking - like it's been ripped out of his chest.]

[He keeps pouring despair into the dream. Every moment from the island he could ring despair from he did. The feeling of being trapped. The utter despair he had felt when he realised he had been stolen to yet another world. The despair and heartbreak he is feeling this very moment at destroying this world.

The sun begins to set and rise. The world flickers from dark to light and back to dark. Again and again. Shion counts, forty four. He wonders at the number but he forces his mind back to the task at hand. Tears are streaming down his face as he reaches out to grasp Ceej's hand.]

Step into the sun Ceej. [He holds on tight, prepared to physically pull Ceej out of this crumbling dream. Back to reality.]

Edited 2018-06-13 11:31 (UTC)

Exploration Event: Neverwere

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cw: suicide mention

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