lifeaftr | Exploration Event: Neverwere

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Exploration Event: Neverwere

EXPLORATION EVENT: NEVERWERE

Who: Everyone!
What: Your wildest dreams come true!
When: May 15th to May 18th
Where: Ziziphus, those still on Ensō...and Mu
Warnings: Mark as needed!

Then Know That My Life Was Just a Killer Dream
You can find most of the information you need in the OOC info post! In the meantime, feel free to use this log as a catch-all for your dream worlds, as well as detailing your efforts to free one another. Whether they're on Ziziphus or Ensō at the time of the dreams' capture, your character is free to access as many dreams as you like, as the interlocking mental landscape allows for that sort of crossing over apropos of nothing. And time, of course, is very fluid in dreams - many days, months, and years can transpire in a matter of mere minutes.

Will you fight your way free from Ziziphus's vines or Mu's thrall, or are you content to die in your sleep?

Remember to let us know if your character dies during this event!

Event Timeline

[ ♆ ] May 15th: The vines make their move, ensnaring characters in ideal fantasy worlds
[ ♆ ] May 17th: The Storyteller will make contact with those they can, as well as issue information and a potential solution
[ ♆ ] May 18th: Those that have not freed themselves from the vines or from Mu will suffer a death

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I fail to see a reason why not. After all, I don't think there's anyone but you who can admonish me for being a bit late in returning. Not that it would stop Gil from trying.

[Gil... Gil. Gilgamesh. Right. Why had Ignis expected that name to be something else? His lips press together for a moment and then he shakes his head. Obviously, his typical long days are getting to him again. Perhaps he should also speak to his king about a vacation.

As if that's going to happen.]

Oh, I'm quite certain the High Council will try to admonish you, but we both know how well that will work. It's such a shame we can't find some way to turn all the hot air they insist on releasing at each meeting into some kind of energy source. Just imagine all the magitek we could run with it!

[Ardyn glanced to Ignis out of the corner of his eye, halfway to questioning if he was alright before the adviser spoke again. Brushing aside the brief uncertainty, he came back with an earnest laugh.]

My, with power like that I'd have a perpetual motion engine built within the week.

And then so quickly the fun would be over.

[Ignis laughs, leaning into Ardyn as they walk.]

What would you do to keep your hands busy after that, Beloved? Ifrit sees to it that idle hands make many a mess, after all.

[Not that Ardyn generally needs any help making messes, but the old quote fits.]

Oh, I've no idea. My advisor's a terribly strict taskmaster, he'd hate it if I dared enjoy myself or continue to slack off.

[He tugged his hand away lightly, in favor of resting an arm around Ignis' waist. Clearly just to serve as a guide, of course. Goodness, couldn't have him tripping.]

[A gentle smile crosses Ignis' face as Ardyn's arm sneaks around his waist. Ah, how kind of their glorious king to make sure he doesn't fall. It would be a shame if said glorious king had to carry him back...

Ignis actually makes a soft sound and stops walking when that thought causes him be hit with the strangest feeling of deja vu. He'd been about to make a joke about Ardyn having to carrying him back if he hurt himself only to know with a certainty he couldn't explain that he'd made that joke before, but in a much different setting and to...a much different man? A different man, and yet, the very same man who stands next to him now.

A lump catches in his throat and Ignis tilts his head up at Ardyn as if somehow doing so might help his blind eyes see what he's missing.]

Your Majesty... I think something's wrong.

[And oh, why does it pain him so to say that?]

[Your Majesty, and oh how that sounded so satisfying to hear. Like something long lost that had finally been returned to him after...after so long-...]

[...]

Everything's fine.

[Something Ardyn couldn't name told him not to pull on the tiny thread out of alignment. Not to question why his normal title felt as if he'd never been called by it before. A nameless dark something in the back of his mind pulled him back and into the moment, to now where his kingdom was safe without the threat of-]

[the...threat of...what?]

I'm here, after all. What could ever go wrong with me at hand to fix things?

Edited 2018-05-18 05:29 (UTC)

Nothing!

[The answer is immediate and Ignis' voice is certain, but that certainty doesn't reach into his eyes, those blind eyes that still look at Ardyn as if they are searching for something--anything--to prove that these odd feelings and glimpses are nothing more than falsities trying to wiggle their way into reality. His king has never let him or their people down. Never. It's why the land is so prosperous and everyone is so free.

Then why... Then why...

Ignis swallows, his voice small and soft when he is finally able to make words leave his mouth.]

Then why didn't you fix my eyes?

[Ardyn went very still at Ignis' side for a moment, with a soft exhale sounding as if the air had been physically knocked out of him.]

I-

['wasn't there'? Surely that was right, but when would a king ever send his most trusted advisor into danger without going himself?]

[And besides-]

[That wasn't true, was it?]

...I don't...remember.

I don't either.

[It's a gentle admission, one filled with as much fear as it is confusion. A voice speaks in the back of his mind--begs in the back of his mind--for him to let this go. It's all just a product of a long day and a tired mind.

Oh, how that voice sounds like Ardyn's and how can he deny his king anything when he loves him so?

But, as much as he hates it, logic has always ruled his mind over emotion and logic won't let him leave this be, not even when his own bleeding heart joins in alongside the voice of his king.]

I do remember you were there. You were there, and yet, I am still like this.

I-I don't-

[he shook his head, arm tightening around Ignis as if to shield the pair of them from something Ardyn couldn't put a name to.]

I know that I was present, but that isn't possible. I would have healed that, you should be fine-, I...

[Oh, what good is a world that only lets you down?]

Please, let's...let's just go home. We're tired, we've both been working too hard.

I-I wish I could.

[Ignis steps closer to Ardyn in that moment needing to protect as much as be protected. But from what? What would harm them in this perfect world if he just allowed all this to pass by? If he just listened to his king as a good retainer--and partner--would?]

But I can't. I can't.

[Tears wet the corners of his eyes and Ignis shakes his head as if it will somehow send them away.]

What kind of Advisor would I be if I didn't seek the truth?

[He leans into Ardyn again, this time letting his forehead rest against his king's shoulder.]

The most beautiful cage in the world is still a cage, and the god that closes the door is still a captor despite the protection they offer.

['You know nothing of captivity', he wanted to say, and yet he didn't understand why the concept made him recoil internally and want to lash out.]

[But he'd already known, hadn't he? In some faint measure, Ardyn had understood something was wrong this entire time and elected to ignore it. All along something had bothered him like the buzzing of a persistent insect, and only now did he begin to grasp the full shape of this problem.]

[Ardyn I̶̛͖̝̰̳͚̗̯͒z̴̻̝̋͋͐̃̏̈́̚ṵ̵̳͓̈́n̵̦͉͈̝͈̖̭̓͐͒̔́ì̸̟̬̫̜̜͌͝â̸̼̦͖͆̑̒̒̍ didn't remember what happiness felt like.]

...please. Little flame, you...you can't, don't do this.

[Ignis isn't sure if it's the nickname or the begging tone in Ardyn's voice that does it, but his breath catches in his throat, eventually forcing itself free as a choked sob.]

I just want you to find happiness. It's all I want, but it has to be real happiness. This...this isn't that no matter what it feels like. My beloved monster, we're just being used--just being tricked--just like, just like...

[But...who is it? Who is it that stole all this away? Why can't Ignis find the name he is looking for? What blocks that last bit of information he needs to be completely certain? To finish shattering what he...

Ignis buries his head harder against Ardyn's shoulder.]

I'm sorry. Please forgive me... I don't want to hurt you... I never...

Then just stop. [Obviously unseen by either of them, his eyes had turned from hazel to yellow as he spoke, sounding half-frantic as he did.]

Stop questioning it. Stop acting as though this is a problem that needs to be fixed. [There was a problem, and Ardyn knew somehow...that ultimately, it was him. That he was only trouble, somehow, and that outside of this nothing would ever be right again. He shook his head, pulling Ignis closer as if it was all he could do to stay grounded in what seemed like reality.]

Just...just come home with me. Aren't you happy like this? Isn't that...isn't that worth something in itself?

Don't ask me that. Please don't ask me that.

[He's shaking so hard, he's pretty sure that if Ardyn wasn't holding onto him, his knees would buckle and he'd be on the ground.]

I love you too much to let you live a lie.

[Finally, Ignis forces himself to look up at Ardyn again, scarred eyes shining with tears.]

I won't betray you like that. Not like everyone else did. You promised. Stand by me and live. This is no life, only gilded death.

What I am isn't living at all.

[And that was true, wasn't it? The person who was holding Ignis like a lifeline, who brought a hand to his face in gentle reassurance...]

[Ardyn Lucis Caelum, healer king of a nation who loved him...didn't exist, did he?]

To return now would be torment immeasurable. If you care for me at all, do not ask me to uphold that now.

But it can be. Don't you understand?

[Despite the fact he can't let himself give into Ardyn's argument, Ignis still finds himself leaning into that reassuring touch.]

When given the choice of a dream world to create, it wasn't his heart that won out; it was yours. You've fought so long to remain--to let yourself feel happiness again. Here it is. Take hold of it and make him remember. End the torment. Wake up and be whole again.

[For so long, Ignis has let himself see Ardyn, the Chancellor, and Ardyn, the Healer-King as two separate people even though he knows it's wrong. They are two parts of the same whole. He has to accept that now and stop lying to himself, because if he doesn't, how can he expect Ardyn to?]

Make this happiness you so wish for permanent and real. You deserve no less after everything that Bahamut has taken from you.

I haven't the strength for it any longer. I can't fight against this--you don't understand. I hope you never have to. Every moment is screaming malice and insanity in my head, drowning out all else. I can't sleep, I feel nothing of warmth or cold, joy or sorrow, and if living in a dream is my only escape from that then I would sooner live and die here a thousand times than ever go back to that!

...You can't save me. No one ever could.

[Ignis lifts one of his hands so he can cover the one Ardyn has against his face. He presses it tight against his cheek as if he wishes to will his own body heat into Ardyn.]

You feel my warmth, don't you? The heat of a flame that refuses to die. That warmth is the same there as it is here. My voice is the same in these soft words as they are screaming over the howling of countless daemons. What you cannot do, then I will, but there is one thing I have to ask of you. Just one.

[He turns his head then, pressing his lips into the palm of Ardyn's hand.]

You said you would wait for me as long as you had to, but I need you to do more than just wait. I need you to promise you will look for me as long as it takes for me to find you. Seek that small flame that glimmers in the dark. Remember the warmth and the peace it offers so freely.

You will be saved. All of you. I will burn until it is done.

I-

[Ardyn broke off before even knowing where his answer would go, voice strained under the weight of knowing this idyllic kingdom was all a lie. Knowing what he was, what he would go back to, and that this sweet silence in his head was temporary at best. Out of the corner of his eye, wine-red hair gradually brightened to violet as the illusion of who he once was fell apart.]

You shouldn't...have to. No one person should bear the weight of all the world, I know that better than anyone apart from the Chosen himself.

[He brushed a gentle touch over the edges of scarring, marks burned in out of love and loyalty. Not to him--never to the false king but to the one he had been replaced by. Proof of a resolve to bear powers beyond his capacity, to do even what should have been impossible. The ring had killed two that night and would likely have claimed a third had it not fallen from the blood of the Oracle's hand.]

[...Yet here was one not yet even the full-fledged Glaive he would become, far from unscathed but left alive after being granted its power.]

[Ardyn had wondered briefly, as he left Altissia, how much of that was his brother's doing.]

It isn't right. None of this is, and it never was. So I can't...I can't ask you to do this. The healer, the should-have-been-Founder, the savior could never make such a selfish request of anyone.

[But it would take a miracle to salvage anything at that point. To bring the dawn, to keep the Chosen King alive, to protect the thing that didn't deserve protecting...]

[If anyone could do it, would it not be a man who already did the impossible and lived?]

But I-

[The words came out before Ardyn could pull them back, the false Chosen and would-be savior struggling with the shadow of his own selflessness.]

...placere adiuva me. No matter what I say, no matter how hard I push you away--that isn't me. It's anger and pain and my own childish bitterness, and I don't want it anymore.

Please...please find me again.

Edited 2018-05-19 03:22 (UTC)

Shoulds and should nots don't mean much when we are no more than chess pieces in the hands of the Astrals. If one must carry the burden undeserving, then so can another.

[Ignis falls quiet then, wondering what is passing through Ardyn's mind as those fingers move so gently over his scars. Is he blaming himself for what happened that night? Perhaps. After all, Ignis had blamed him as well until he remembered exactly what happened in Altissia, then all blame had gone. Ardyn may have forced his hand, but the choice to stand and fight--the choice to put the Ring on and take whatever punishment the Lucii picked for him--had been no one's but his.

The blame belongs only to him.

He's about to speak up when Ardyn finally breaks the silence, words heavy with whatever thoughts were running through his mind. The moment he hears 'I can't ask you to do this,' his body tenses as he readies himself for a fight. He knows far too well how hard it is for the selfless to ask for the things they want; he still struggles with it himself and he's not going to let things end like this, with a wish unexpressed.

Then, Ardyn surprises him.

Perhaps such a desperate plea shouldn't move him to feel such relief, but it does and Ignis finds himself almost sagging against Ardyn as the relief and a million other emotions run through him. After a moment, though, he pulls himself up straight again, stepping closer so he can lean forward a press a gentle kiss to the corner of Ardyn's mouth.]

I will always find you. You don't even need to ask. Let the anger and pain rant and rave all it wishes. It doesn't have the power to drive me away.

I'm sorry.

[The apology came in soft tones, Ardyn leaning over enough to rest his forehead against the tactician's.]

I ask too much of you all the same, and you offer too much for the sake of one who was never your king, one who has done naught but cause pain for you and those you love. For that which you know, that which you don't, and all you've yet to experience...it means nothing, but I'm sorry all the same.

If there remains even a shred of a heart within this unliving shell...then it belongs to you. It has for longer than I have even dared to think upon.

[Before saying anything, Ignis searches out Ardyn's hands, wrapping his own around them and settling them against his chest.]

People have told me all my life that six years old was far too young for anyone to ask me to devote my life to one person or one path. I've never felt that way, but in looking back, perhaps they were right.

[Ignis closes his eye, voice growing soft.]

I'm well aware there is precious little of myself left without the parts that are tied to Noctis. Maybe that is part of the reason I so fear losing him. What will be left of me with him gone?

[He pauses taking a deep breath and then shakes his head gently as so not to push Ardyn away.]

No. If it is wrong they molded me into what I am, then let this be my first real choice. I chose you and I chose this quest. I will follow this to the end and I will take all you can give to me no matter how much or how little that is. Don't be sorry for anything, for in being what you are you have given me this choice. This chance to find me.

Help me to find myself and I will do everything in my power that you might do the same in turn.

[...So that was what a human heartbeat felt like. It had been so long since he had one that Ardyn almost didn't recognize the rhythm under his hands at first.]

Don't let me hurt you. Any of you. Even if it means you have to kill me a dozen times, I would prefer that to knowing I caused more pain.

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shatteredlenses - 2018-05-20 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

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scourgingstars - 2018-05-20 03:31 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Exploration Event: Neverwere

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First of all...HOW DARE YOU LINK THAT! Second, just plain out HOW DARE!

<3

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