lifeaftr | March Undercurrent: Lost Connections

Entry tags:

March Undercurrent: Lost Connections

MARCH UNDERCURRENT

Who: Everyone!
What: We remember those lost, and connect with one another
When: March 3rd to March 19th
Where: Everywhere!
Warnings: Please mark anything as it comes up!

From Stardust to God

Those months since the Water's introduction to you all have been...tumultuous, haven't they? These two gods have more or less been trying to consistently undermine each other, and you all have been caught in the middle of it - whether or not you wanted to be! Kind of a miserable state of being to be stuck in, right?

All that is going to change.

For the duration of this particular month, both the Storyteller and the Water will be operating under a tentative ceasefire as they commit their efforts to one singular, joint goal:

They wish to remember those who have been lost. Those who have left the archipelago, those who have died, those who have come and gone, those who you lost in your homes...and these gods will be, also, commemorating those who they have lost.

This commemoration will be facilitated with the use of memorials and offerings to those long past.

The Storyteller will provide you with materials to craft paper lanterns that can be illuminated and sent sailing into the ocean waters. They can be decorated with colorful paper, cut designs, and so forth. The Water will guide the currents to allow the lanterns to drift to...wherever it is they need to go. You can send as many lanterns as you like, and as many nights as you like. The skies will always be clear, and the water will always guide them to the horizon, where they eventually fade from view...

Both the Storyteller and the Water will be available for discussion for the duration of this event.

The Highs We Trade for the Lows

This month isn't only about remembering what's been past. To conjure Ai'tuoh back to the archipelago, it will also entail that all of you do some reflecting on what has been lost in your lives, and sharing in that pain together. This may be a somber month for some of you, or it may be an introspective one.

At any point during this event, your character may wake to discover that one or more thin threads of colorful light appears to be emanating from their chest and trailing through the empty air. These threads cannot be removed or influenced in any fashion; attempting to grab at them will simply cause one's hands to phase uselessly through them, as though they are ethereal constructs of some sort.

The purpose of these strands of light might not immediately be apparent, but if you spend enough time observing your fellow islanders, it might get a bit clearer. Each tether connects you to someone else - someone who has a pain similar to your own. Should you follow your tether to whoever it has linked you to, you may find yourself compelled to comfort or relate to the other party. This compulsion can honestly vary, from a gentle nudge to a sudden impulse and anything in between. There may or may not be a subtle pressure on your thoughts that may help you discern what you might have in common with this other person, whoever they might be.

This facet of this event is completely opt-in, naturally, and we encourage you to interpret this however you like. What counts as shared pain? It can be as literal or as figurative as you like. Whether characters underwent the same events in this game or another, or whether there are certain parallels you wish to explore within certain canons or across multiple ones...or if you just want your character to have a nice sit down and talk about their problems for once, the choice is yours. Your character can be connected to as many others as you like - there is no limit to how many characters you can share any related trauma with!

Should you choose to reflect on that which you have endured, and the shared pain of others, what follows is fairly intuitive. The tether binding you together will fade, though hopefully a stronger bond will be forged, and ideally you'll all feel better afterward...but that's not necessarily a given, now, is it?

This is No Place Like Home

Of course, there's a lot going on in the background as well. You're free to use this log as a catch-all for the duration of February's Undercurrent Event, as well as any of the other minor events listed on our Monthly Rundown post. And, of course, you are always free to create your own individual logs and posts as needed.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them over on the Questions header on our Monthly Rundown post!

March Timeline

[ ♆ ] March 1st: "The Return of Your Special Lifting Friend" begins and lasts until March 10th
[ ♆ ] March 3rd: "Lost Connections" begins and lasts until March 19th
[ ♆ ] March 12th: "Spring Forth" begins and lasts until March 21st
[ ♆ ] March 20th: Ai'tuoh returns to the archipelago
[ ♆ ] March 22nd: "The Happy Hang Glider Vacation Society" begins and lasts until March 31st

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ginko nods and sits down, his expression about as impassive as Yukio's. Right now, he's just got to listen.

Staying completely neutral is... easier said than done as Yukio describes his interactions with Hector thus far. Or maybe it just feels that way, and none of his reactions are actually showing on his face after all. It's hard to be sure sometimes.

The thing is, he knows that Hector means well. And he supposes he can see, in an abstract kind of way, why Hector would have thought that he was doing the right thing; persistence always seemed to be one of his foremost qualities, sometimes one of his best, and it's not hard to imagine he would assume that it was the best way to get through to a closed-off kid who wasn't looking after himself.

The problem is, while Ginko has been an adult scrambling to look after kids with poor self-preservation instincts, he has also been one of those kids. He knows for a fact that an adult trying too hard, pushing too much to help him, ignoring requests (or, in his case, probably passive-aggressive demands) to leave him alone would have been confusing at best and suspicious at worst.

(He doesn't know if he should be assuming that Yukio thinks anywhere near the way he did, but it's hard not to, not when he recognizes so clearly the way Yukio presses his hands together and pauses and holds steady.)

He doesn't try to speak until he's sure Yukio is finished.]

...I don't think I would have kept it together for that long, in your position. [He readjusts where he's sitting, fidgeting with his fingers and wishing again that he had a cigarette. Give him something to do with his hand while he thinks this through.]

I think I understand where you're both coming from now - which could make getting through to him easier. The thing is, I think Hector only then realized that he was hurting you, and he still doesn't fully understand what he did wrong. He's not mad at you, he's just sort of dense.

[And here Ginko JUST got done telling Hector he wasn't stupid.]

["He still doesn't fully understand what he did wrong", says Ginko, and Yukio doesn't know how to respond to that. He tried, he said it over and over again, pushed words past the pressure in his throat that threatens to choke him in a way that feels more and more familiar every time he sees Héctor.

It's closing around him now, and he goes quiet. If he opens his mouth now, he doesn't know what he would say.

How can Ginko understand where they're both coming from, when Yukio barely understands it himself? There's no way he can understand.]

[He waits for a few moments, but Yukio doesn't say anything. Well, Ginko can't be too surprised if he’s having trouble believing him.

All he can do about that is try to explain.]

...Here’s what I think happened here.

Hector has trouble keeping his distance if he’s worried about someone, whether he needs to be or not. [In this case, he likely did - but that’s not the point right now, and Yukio doesn’t need to hear it.] The problem is, when he thought he should help you, he didn’t take into account that he doesn’t know you very well. So he approached you the way he approaches… everything.

[Like a freight train.]

Hector doesn’t know… how or when to give up - and he’s not used to people being polite when they tell him to back off. He thought he was looking out for you, he misread your telling him to leave as a formality or… sheer stubbornness with nothing more to it, and his concern blinded him to what he was actually doing. He pushed past boundaries as soon as they were set, because he was convinced it was for the best.

...That’s not to say I think he was right. Having someone refuse to leave you alone and ignore everything you tell them, even if they say they’re doing it for you... I’d be pretty upset, too. Especially if someone treated me like that at your age.

["That’s not to say I think he was right" says Ginko, after listing everything Héctor was doing wrong.

Yukio sets boundaries, he always has. He sets them clearly and firmly and politely, and no one crosses them. That's how it's always been, that's how his world works, how he needs it to work.

I'd be pretty upset says Ginko, and that isn't the right word ("at your age" says Ginko, like he doesn't realize Yukio isn't a child). Upset means Rin throwing tables and punches and it means Yukio grabbing his guns and going to the target range. It means I know you're upset but you can't act like this.

He doesn't know what to do. He tries to explain, quietly, but he doesn't even know where to start.]

He said he understood that I didn't want anything to do with him.

[This was a mistake. There's no way Ginko could ever understand. But Ginko's trying, and maybe if Yukio tries again, if he explains...]

He said that he was being nice, and that I needed to stop acting like he was out to get me.

[Ginko nods, slowly, as Yukio explains - still listening, still making little mental adjustments to what he can tell of the situation. How to talk to Yukio about it without making things worse, what he should adjust and rephrase and explain.

If he loses Yukio's trust over this, he can't do anything for him. He'll be no more able to look after him than Hector.]

Sorry… I should rephrase.

Even if Hector knew you wanted him to leave you alone, he... clearly didn't take it seriously. That was because he thought he was looking after your wellbeing, and considered that more important. That's what he really failed to understand, even if he thought he got it.

It sounds like he… also completely failed to understand that his meaning well didn't mean you had to accept it - or even trust his intentions.

[Goddammit Hector.]

[Ginko understands it. Even if he doesn't have the information, he gets the outlines, and it's a relief. Not everything, he won't ever be able to really understand everything, but Yukio sighs out a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding.]

... [He opens his mouth and doesn't say anything.

A breath in, a breath out, and he tries again.]

I don't know what to do. [He admits, finally, and that was another weight sitting heavily on him. So heavily that he barely gets the words out, that his voice is almost a whisper.

The admission is crushing, and he regrets it as soon as he says it. But it's out now, hanging in the air.]

You don't have to do anything. [He answers quietly and keeps going without waiting for a reply.] You apologized to Hector, and that's already more than most would ask. This isn't on you to fix.

I can tell you right now, Hector has no intention of bothering you again. But, I am going to see if I can get through to him where he went wrong.

[He needs to fix this. It's his problem, his responsibility, and he needs to be involved in fixing it. He needs a plan but he can't come up with one, all his solutions crashed and burned.

He needs to accept Ginko's help, to say something like thank you or will you make sure he gets medical care but if he tries to speak he doesn't know what he'll say.]

[Another pause, until it's clear once again that Yukio isn't going to speak, whether by choice or out of fear.]

If he won't come back here, I'll put those splints on him myself, or see if I can get someone else to help. He won't be left on his own.

[...And while he's here.] Thank you for telling me what was going on.

[He needs to say something, but he's choking on it. He should be able to just speak, it should be easy, he's smoothed over things hundreds of times before, but...]

Thank you. He needs help.

And I... needed... [His voice dims out, because the admission is hard enough, but the fact that he can say it at all is worse somehow, that it's true.]

[The pause before Ginko confirms Yukio isn't going to speak up isn't as long this time. He's starting to pick up on when it's going to happen a little easier... though he still can't be sure why he trails off or stays silent so much more often than the boy he knew in Ryslig.

He leans over to set his hand on Yukio's shoulder.] ...I'm glad to help however I can. You can tell me about anything that's bothering you, alright?

Edited 2020-05-08 07:50 (UTC)

[There's something, of course. There are a lot of things, and none of them are anything that Ginko can help with.

And right now, Yukio doesn't know if he can force himself to speak. But Ginko's asking, almost, because he's obviously picked up on the way Yukio keeps choking on his words, and he's been nothing but kind, and Yukio wants to be able to trust him.]

How... [it's a whisper, but it's all he can manage right now.]

How much do you know about fae?

I knew a couple faeries in Ryslig, though I don't know how much they had in common with the fae you've encountered. They were generally insectoid, and-- ate energy. [Just, the shortest, least disturbing version of that bit of information.] They could... change size. I never ended up as one myself and never got to asking any about their experiences in detail, so I only know bits and pieces.

Edited 2020-05-10 04:53 (UTC)

They can't lie. [He says, forcing the statement out all at once.

Talking about Héctor was bad enough, but this is so much worse. It needs to be said, but he's choking on it, he can't even actually admit it. He shouldn't have said anything.]

[It just takes those three words, and suddenly a lot of things make sense. Especially those freeze-ups.]

...Right. [There's some understanding just in that word.] That sounds... incredibly frustrating.

[He laughs, sort of. It's a stressed rush of noise, breaking through all at once, just for a second.

He should say something, but he can't trust his own voice anymore. So he nods instead, because it's beyond just incredibly frustrating, because he's spent so much of his life smoothing things over with polite little lies that he doesn't know how to even talk anymore.]

[Well, that not-laugh communicated enough on its own.] ...Worse than frustrating. Sorry.

[Now that he thinks about it - other than the occasional downplaying of his own emotions, he doesn't do much lying himself these days. Not like there's any need to do so to make money, and he's rarely in positions where lying to someone to comfort them would actually work, now that he's no longer the resident expert in any given situation. So he'll usually just say what he thinks.

Yukio... is more careful than he is. Has been as long as he's known him.

Shit. Some things are starting to make sense.]

Is that what happened when Hector was here, too?

[He nods. It's not just today, it's the entire time he's been on this island, it's every time he's talked to Héctor, or Ginko, or anyone.

He shouldn't have told Ginko. He should have tried to handle it on his own but it's been too much for him and he doesn't know what to do.]

Shit. I'm sorry. [Again. For making Yukio deal with that, even more so than he was already regretting bringing them together, and just... in general. It just sucks, in general.

But he asked for a reason.] I guess that's not... something I can really solve. [Obviously.] But if you want to find ways to work around it when you have to... I might be able to help with that.

[It's not like he wants to encourage Yukio to lie or anything, but nobody should have to be ready to spill their guts or clam up every time someone asks a personal question.]

[He breathes out, a shuddering exhalation between his fangs as he tries to plan out what he's going to say, tries to decide if he can even get the words out past the choking pressure in his throat.]

I've been trying. [He says, but it's a whisper. Why is this so difficult? It has nothing to do with telling the truth, since this is the truth so it should come easily. But it feels like anything he says is going to be something he doesn't want said, like his voice is going to betray him in ways he can't ever recover from.]

Fae are... known for never lying, but being very clever with their words.

How's that worked for you so far?

[He imagines not great, given how he's already seen Yukio struggling to communicate, but if Yukio is having at least limited success, under particular circumstances... well, that's better than nothing, and something to know when trying to help him.]

[...

Yukio knows. He knows he can't do this, it isn't working and it isn't going to work. And Ginko knows.

There's nothing for him to say.]

[Shiiit. Ginko rubs at the back of his neck, fingers pulling at his fur.]

Right... I guess there's always just refusing to talk, but that'll only take you so far if you're trying not to insult anyone, huh.

[He's definitely thinking on it, staring down at the floor with his fingers buried in his fur. This would be a lot simpler if Yukio were anywhere near as comfortable as Ginko is with just being constantly rude. But he isn't, and asking him to change his entire approach to interacting with other people all at once isn't likely to do Yukio much good at all.]

...I'm sorry. I... really appreciate that you were willing to tell me this; I wish I could be of enough help to reflect that properly.

I'm not refusing to talk. [He says, forcing the words out, trying to explain, trying to make sense of it himself. That isn't what's happening, and it certainly isn't what he wants.]

And you've been helpful. I shouldn't have bothered you. Thank you.

--I know that's not what you've been doing. [Just to try and be as clear as he can.] It was just... a bad suggestion.

[He shakes his head quickly, briefly.] No, I'm glad you told me. I can at least try to avoid putting you in difficult positions in the future.

...And, if I ask something you really aren't willing to answer, you can tell me as much, alright? I'd rather you do that than hurt yourself.

(no subject)

reflash - 2020-06-04 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

onegreeneye - 2020-06-10 06:42 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only