lifeaftr | Returning Island: Umui

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Returning Island: Umui

RETURNING ISLAND: UMUI

Who: Everyone!
What: Umui returns to the archipelago of LifeAftr
When: January 20th, and onward
Where: It'd almost be beautiful, if you didn't know it could kill you
Warnings: Please mark if anything comes up!

I Found a Plot of Weeds Instead
Perhaps some of you remember the island of Umui...its mysteries, its dangers, its eerie quiet. Almost everything here was both overgrown and Overgrown - remnants of an old civilization were buried beneath layers of the flowers that eventually killed them. And travelers got to unpack and hunt down whatever clues they could find about just what happened to the people out here, until the answer became all too obvious.

When Umui resurfaces on January 20th, you might be startled to discover that everything has become even more overgrown than before. No, really - almost every landmark and building has been rendered more or less totally unrecognizable. It looks very much as though centuries of growth has now overcome this entire area, as though you've left it like this for a period of millennia and not merely a period of months. The buildings have been utterly buried beneath grasses and flowers, and if there were any of those automatons left lying about, they're probably buried pretty deep under the ground too.

It's not recommended that you go digging too deep. You probably don't want to awaken any old strains of the Overgrowth, right? You already dealt with that earlier in the month! And that's the good news in all this. As long as you don't go digging too deeply into the island, you won't have any fear of encountering the Overgrowth again.

Well, unless you're after something or someone in particular. Some of you might remember robotic entity that several of you worked together to save. They're probably underneath all this stuff somewhere, right? Still deactivated, but...maybe there's something you can do to save them...?

If anyone has questions about what you might find if you poking around Umui's landscape, you're free to ask them here! It's worth noting, however, that except for the flora, this place is almost completely devoid of other life. Nothing sentient lives here...anymore.

Buried Deep Underneath the Tree
That doesn't mean Umui is bereft of any of quirks entirely, however. While you might recognize some of the flowers poking up from the humps of moss and greenery, a certain type of bloom is definitely new...and definitely not one of your standard types of flowers, either. If anyone thinks to ask one of the gods about these flowers, they will receive an assurance that they are not innately dangerous - but they are innately linked to the dream island of Mu. They glow with a strange, vaguely ethereal light, and if you get too close, they'll waft some thick spores of pollen in your direction.

These spores have all sorts of ways of latching their effects into you. Whether they get breezed into your mechanical parts, inhaled, ingested, if they land in your eyes, whatever the case - pretty soon, they're going to start working their magic. And once they do, you'll soon find yourself feeling inexplicably and incredibly tired. Inexorably, you'll find yourself settling down for a nap, regardless of whether you're not one for sleeping, or even if you're one who requires it.

The moment you close your eyes, you'll find yourself entering a dream state on Mu, and one that is linked with all other dreaming entities. This means that it's highly possible that your dreams will be bleeding into other people's, or that you may end up wandering into another's dreams. It's very probable, in fact.

The dream-state you enter may vary in depth. You might end up completely beholden to Mu's wishes, or you might find yourself in a vaguely lucid, almost "sleepwalking" state, where in the following effects are "projections" visible to the waking world. Most likely, you'll all be bumping up against one another's heads within Mu's vast and comfortable shores. Whichever of these it is, once you're caught within Mu's grasp, you'll find that it's a trove of memories that await you - your memories. You may find yourself re-enacting them or simply watching from afar...but the same may be said for others who might stumble upon your mind. Perhaps they find themselves in place of another character, or watching invisibly from the sidelines. Either way, Mu tries to make each instance as close to the real thing as possible. When it has completed, it may either restart itself, or simply fade entirely.

Should you be affected by Umui's pollen, any one or more of the following will occur:

[ ♆ ] True Bliss: Mu recreates a memory or a time in which you were truly happy. This may be as simple or as grandiose as you may like, but it had to have really happened.

[ ♆ ] True Judgment: Mu recreates a memory or a time in which you felt exceptionally guilty. And no matter what you do, you'll find that it is impossible to change. Try as you might, you can only ever witness the same end result that has stricken you with so much guilt. And the same can be said for whoever might have gotten caught in this instance, and is watching it happen...

[ ♆ ] True Peace: Mu recreates a memory or a time in which you felt the most at peace, whether with some aspect of yourself or the circumstances around you. Perhaps this sense of peace bleeds into your own consciousness as you witness or act it, or perhaps it only serves to unsettle you...or maybe it affects those who go wandering into your dreams.

[ ♆ ] True Balance: Mu selects a memory or a time in your life...and warps it so that it is experienced in the opposite manner that it was initially. For example: that happy memory of you rescuing a bunch of kittens from a burning building? When you experience it this time, it will be in a relentlessly negative light - you absolute monster, traumatizing those kittens by carrying them through the fire like that! You should have been more careful! What if the fire was your fault all along? That horrible memory in which you slaughtered a bunch of innocent people? Well, it was all for the best, wasn't it? It was good that you did this. You have nothing to be sorry for. There's a bright side to everything - even this.

[ ♆ ] True Fate: Mu creates what it understands to be your final destiny, whether it be the place where our story ends, or the circumstances under which you perish. Perhaps this is something that is known to you, or to others. And perhaps it isn't.

You may pay witness to any one or more of these dream-states at a time. Perhaps you visit the island five times and receive the same "effect" each time, or perhaps you visit only once but find yourself looping through all five "effects" in the same space. The memories may vary, as well; for example, you might experience the "True Bliss" effect three times, and experience three separate happy memories each time. The choice of what your character experiences is up to you!

While there are no inherent risks to this dream-state, it should be worth noting that your body will not be immune to entropy should you stay in it too long. Your body may suffer from hunger or thirst, or require recharging at a mana pool. For the most part, however, the only things you have to fear are the, uh, trauma that this might inflict. Or the trauma of other people seeing some of your most private memories.

Where My Friends Plot to Bury Me
Of course, there's a lot going on in the background as well. Characters are not required to go to Umui; you're free to explore any other minor events listed on our Monthly Rundown post. You are also always free to create your own individual logs and posts as needed!

Also remember that if you died this month, to fill out the corresponding form over on our Deaths page!

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them over on our Monthly Rundown post!

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

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Doesn't seem so bad to me.

[He wishes he knew what she meant by that - what she means when someone's heart is good or bad. At first he wrote it off as just her way of referring to things, but the circular logic here is...if there's more to it than that, he's pretty sure it's way too late to ask.]

[In theory.]

Might be because I'm pretty dumb, but...I dunno what you really mean by that. Your heart being bad, or whatever it is you said.

All I know is that you didn't look like you wanted to be there, kiddo.

[She didn't. Not for one second. Not for one minute and while she had long given up on the idea of being free, the death of humanity made her think she might have a shot.

But Shin was always a ghost she couldn't escape and even past death, her thoughts and needs didn't matter-it was all about the project, all about what he wanted and-]

I didn't. I really-I don't like that place. I was very happy when Seto saved me.

[Which is why it makes it worse-that she kept going back just because he said. Because she knew he could hunt her down, that he could use AI's to usher her back, that he was the only one with access to her medicine and-]

And when you saved me.

[Because, as usual, she couldn't do anything herself.]

That's how you know my heart is bad. Even if you can't feel it, it's like that. I couldn't run on my own, so I let Shin do something very bad. That's why my heart's bad too.

You didn't let him do anything. You didn't wanna be there, right? What could you have done to get outta there on your own, huh?

[She couldn't see, couldn't run - she had to have Tim break her out, and before then, someone named Seto.]

[It should be more troubling to him that she immediately takes the blame onto herself. But, unfortunately, he's known too many kids who've done that exact same thing.]

That doesn't make you a bad person, Ren. Needing help...doesn't make you a bad person. This Shin guy, whatever he was doing to you, the fact that he was doing it to you - that's on him. That's his fault, 'cause you didn't ask to be put through that, whatever it was.

That isn't your fault.

[Talking about this-for the first time in years-

For the first time ever is a strange experience. Seto didn't pry and she never offered this information. He accepted her part in this without judgement, without any words and saved everyone, even Shin.

And talking it aloud to Tim feels strange. Scary and weird. Nerve-wracking and horrifying and like a weight's lifted off her heart because he's still holding her hand, even as she confesses all the ways her heart is awful. He's pretending like it's not. Saying that Shin was bad and-

He was bad. He was scary. He hurt her and she could never look fully look him in the eye, even as he disappeared with the person he loved most.]

I could have-

[Not gone and let nature take it's course. Could've-]

Run. When he said 'Come back now'-I should have run very far away. My heart could've hurt Seto. It could have made him sleep forever and I-

[Still got in.]

I wanted to live, so I didn't run.

That doesn't make you a bad person. Wanting to live.

[Plenty of people, kids and adults, would've done the same in her place. When faced with the possibility of death - of course she'd want to keep on living. She's just a kid. And she sees the beauty in things even if they're at their worst, so why would she want to see the end of it?]

Lots of people do.

You don't think my heart's bad?

[They escaped the real dream, but this feels like one.

The conversation's turning out the same as the it had that evening around the campfire. All those years spent consumed by fear and worried about rejection and they just accept her. He accepts her just like this. It doesn't make her a bad person-that's what he says and it's the first time she's heard someone say that to her.

He knows she almost killed Seto because she wanted to live. That she let Shin use her for that project, knowing the consequences after round one had failed so miserably and he's still saying it's not bad.

She clutches his hand a bit tighter and-]

You're really not mad?

[He's not any good at this. He knows he's not. But he can try, and he'll give it the only shot he can if it means that she stops blaming herself for something that he honestly doesn't think is her fault. Wanting to live doesn't make you a bad person, does it?]

[Hell, that's the kind of ultimatum Alex pushed on everyone else. On Tim, even. That trying to live his life made him some monster, some - ]

[It wasn't the same set of circumstances.]

No, buddy. I'm not mad. I think you had a...I think things were pretty rough for you. You're allowed to wanna live.

You're just a kid. 'Course you're allowed to wanna live.

[It makes her want to cry-the relief she feels in this moment. The thought of being rejected by the people she cares for, who she thinks of as family, even if they don't return it-she adores them so much that this moment-

It's overwhelming. To have someone say you're allowed to, like it's truly okay. The 'I'm not mad' sounds sincere enough that she doesn't question his intentions, because he wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it-wouldn't keep holding her hand if he were truly mad at her and-

It's hard to have lived with this guilt for years and years and have someone validate it. It's difficult to agree-she definitely thinks a part of her is bad because why would a project to connect hearts go so horribly wrong, if the catalysts weren't failures to begin with, but-

He makes her think it's okay-like she isn't the worst person alive for trying to live, even if it was a pointless effort given how she how sick she is.]

I'm very happy I met you. You're a good 'buddy.'

I'm, uh...I'm glad I met you too.

[He gives her hand another squeeze, like that might tether, might help her feel a little more at peace with...with all of this. He's not entirely clear on what happened to her there, on why she was being used, but it's pretty clear to him that she was being used. She didn't want to be there, and as soon as she could, she got out.]

Y'know you have a lotta people who'd pull you outta that place, right? A lotta people who'd run in there to save you in a second, and none of 'em would be mad at you for being stuck there.

[He doesn't know that and a prickle of fear returns at the thought of another person stumbling upon this memory and putting the pieces together. Most of her family is gone and maybe Kravitz would understand-Murasaki-chan definitely would, but-

She has faith they would help her. Would get her out of that container and-

They would be mad, definitely, the moment they noticed what's going on. Because they don't have the same experience Tim has-maybe wouldn't understand, or understand too much, or be able to see her heart in a different way and-

She tries not to think about it. Most of them aren't here anymore and will never know about this. It's a problem she can shove under the metaphorical rug, where she's putting all these losses because it's too much to think about. He squeezes her hand and she tightens her grip on it.]

You don't know.

[Her voice is quiet, like she's afraid of someone overhearing.]

You get this kind of thing and they-I don't know if they would still look at me and smile and hold my hand anymore.

Kid.

There's a lotta people here who love you.

[He can say it like this, oblique. It's easier than some out-and-out confession. He'd say he's not one for dramatics, but he is, a little bit. He's one for dramatics when the situation calls for it, no matter how much he might wish he wasn't. A blown-out tirade. A display for the camera.]

[But this isn't that sort of situation. Big, flashy admissions? That's not what either of them need right now.]

[So he can put it out there like it's a simple, unremarkable thing. A lot of people who love her. He doesn't name any of them, doesn't need to draw anything out. He just says - there are people who love her, and they're here.]

And I'm willing to bet they always will. No matter what.

[It's been a hard lesson to learn. That care and love can be unconditional and not based around how healthy she is at any given day. That people can say that and mean it, even after witnessing one of the worst moments of her life and seeing how truly awful her heart is. They can still say there's love left and-

It starts to make sense. She's never lost an ounce of affection for the people she loves, even after witnessing their own horrific memories and thoughts and pasts they tried to keep locked up.

He says it so casually and that's the soft reminder she needs that nothing's changed. His hand and words are proof of that-he hasn't shied away away from her once, though she's sure he doesn't want to hold her anymore. He's still here and-]

I love them too.

[Those same people who offer her compassion and care and hands to hold-who guide her out of lab rooms and don't leave her to wallow in that misery, even if it's not real.

She loves them.

She loves him.

And it's small, but that little smile inches across her face. ]

I love them very much. They're 'family.'

There you go.

[It's good that - at least she knows.]

[At least she realizes it. They can talk around it. Say that it's an ambiguous "they" who love her, without naming anyone in particular. He already has one memory of saying those words to someone who didn't want to hear them. He doesn't want - doesn't deserve to push that onto anyone else.]

Family loves you no matter what happens. Doesn't matter what you do, or where you came from. Okay?

Okay.

[From someone else's mouth-

It would be hard to believe. Maybe it's because Tim, unfortunately, has such an intimate experience with the situation and that kind of life, but she believes him. Even if it scares her to think about anyone else finding out-

She still believes him. It'll be okay if they do, whether they understand what her actions could've caused in that world or not. They-

Accepted her when she was sick. Would accept her. They won't turn her away if they stumble upon a memory like this-not right off the bat. It alleviates some of the fear held in her heart and-

She's able to stand a bit taller, though her voice is still quiet and the vice grip on his hand isn't waning in the slightest. Sorry, he's stuck there for awhile.]

No matter what.

[Because maybe she's tired of keeping all these secrets and if this quiet void really has only them, then-]

Even if they-

[It's just easier-they. Them.]

Knew I was sick? They would still love me? Even when I go away forever?

You know I'm sick, right?

[Not in the same way. Mostly he's just sick in the head, sick in that inescapable and generally incurable sense that he simply has to learn to manage over time. He used to manage it well enough. Used to.]

Does that make you care any less about me? And -

[When, she says. Not if. His throat closes up for a moment. Just a moment, though. He swallows, and forces himself to continue.]

Do you love Chara any less, just 'cause they're not here?

[But he thinks he already knows the answer to that one.]

[That reminder he's sick-it connects everything. It's never changed how she's felt about him, treated him-it didn't change her late night call schedule or stop her from worrying. It changed nothing, except show her that there was something else going on and that he's been dealing with his own issues, while helping so many others.

It didn't change how she felt-why would he be different?

He's still important.]

No, I still care about you. You still reach my heart all the time and-

[It doesn't ever go away and saying it aloud-

It helps, instead of having her own fears echo around her mind and the only sounding board she could bounce off were her own concerns and worries. It didn't help to think about it, but-

For once it helps to talk.]

I love them and I miss them and that doesn't go away. It's always there.

Why would that be any different for you, then?

[It's easy to get caught in that trap. I'm different. I'm wrong. I'm worse than that. He does all the time. But at this point, it's not something he can so easily dismiss.]

You can't...control what other people're gonna think about you. Whether they care about you or not - that's a decision they're gonna make on their own. And some of 'em just...they're gonna care about you. You can't change that. You can try, but - that's the thing about people.

They're always gonna give a damn.

[Maybe he should be watching his language here, but he's pretty sure the elves have taught her worse. And besides - it's heavy conversation. He's owed a little vocabulary to accompany it.]

[All her fears-

Don't feel silly, but the stress and worry she was weighted down by for years-all her preconceived notions about family and friends and what that meant-

It was for nothing.

Because she's noticed that he's right-that people tend to care, and care hard, even when they say they don't.

It makes her happy, that this seemingly mythical concept of unconditional love and care actually exists and-

That she gets to experience it, no matter how short her time is. She had a chance for it to reach her heart and she hopes that Seto can find that same happiness here, whenever he arrives.

That little smile on her face brightens a bit more and-]

I'll 'give a damn' too. Always. That's something I'll do for you too.

Yeah, I figured.

[He ruffles her hair with his free hand before he can stop himself - before he can think through whether or not he should, and what that might suggest if he does, because if he thinks about it too much then he won't do it.]

[Even if he only understands the vaguest outline of what it is she endured, even if it doesn't fix everything, doesn't patch away the holes that have gnawed at her soul and his - ]

[She's smiling a little easier. That's worth a million nightmares, right there.]

[He smiles, quick and fleeting. Only for a moment.]

Don't tell anyone I taught you that word, okay?

[The extra touch is welcome-it makes her head lift up, so that her smile isn't just facing the ground and-

She looks at Tim and the smile that might have crossed his face. It's impossible to tell if it was a trick of this world, if she imagined it or maybe it did happen. It's so rare to see, that she wants to say something, but-

She doesn't. She keeps walking. It's easier now. Breathing is less of a struggle and nothing seems to ache anymore and while it might not be completely because of Tim, he's-

Family and it only makes sense that family would make even this trek across an endless void better. His words did something-maybe they helped with this too.]

I won't. I promise. I'll keep 'damn' close to my heart-it'll be our secret.

[Given all the secrets and lies and half-truths that Tim's held and kept and kept and kept and kept, mostly against his will, because it was necessary, and not really because he wanted to keep someone else's lies twisted up behind his teeth - ]

[This has to be the most harmless one.]

[He'll take it.]

Yeah. Okay. [His smile slides away, because it always does, but there's no banishing the warmth that's slipped into his chest, closed its fist around his heart and filled it with a sunbeam glow.]

[That's all right.]

That'll be our secret.

[The fears her own mind had conjured up, using her limited experience and twisting the truths from a world she could imagine-it might not be the last time she has that bit terror. It may not be the final time she thinks about the what ifs and finds herself frozen by the possibility of rejection and loss.

But it won't happen today. Won't happen again if she accidentally stumbles into this dream world and returns to a worse place. She'll remember his words now and-

She'll remember them forever. Even when her hearts stops beating, she'll remember, because she won't be alone when she dies. She'll have family she wasn't afraid to speak to and friends she didn't try to hide all her faults from and feel that unconditional acceptance until-

It doesn't matter. She can feel it now-in the suddenly easy way they're talking and with all these troubles lifted off her heart.

Even when they find their way out of this void, she won't forget. And when she meets other struggling through their own memories and thoughts, she won't forget and she won't stop loving and accepting that love because he taught her it's okay.

They're going to be okay. At least for today.

And that's all she needs to believe right now, as they stumble through this bizarre place and head back towards their own homes.

They'll definitely be okay.]

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Returning Island: Umui

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