lifeaftr | January Undercurrent: Growing Pains

January Undercurrent: Growing Pains

JANUARY UNDERCURRENT

Who: Everyone!
What: Hey bud, how's it growing?
When: January 3rd to January 20th
Where: Everywhere!
Warnings: This event has a potential for body horror and character death; please mark anything as it comes up!

A Notion Growing Inside Me

Those of you who weren't with us the last time Umui entered the archipelago didn't have to contend with the lethal illness known as the Overgrowth personally, but anyone who remembers it probably doesn't remember it fondly. Fortunately, this isn't quite the same strain of the illness that you had to contend with the last time. It's not unrelentingly and uncompromisingly fatal, for one! That's always nice.

For those that need a primer on the Overgrowth, it is best described as a sickness that overcomes you with floral growth both inside and outside your body that can only be cured by expressions of emotional honesty. Expressions of truths, affections, and admissions of things that you have hidden from yourselves or from others were critical in dispensing of the illness. These could be as simple as admissions of past sins or the revealing of secrets, or as grandiose and overt as confessions of guilt or love. That general idea will remain more or less the key means of curing this strain as well, though the stakes fortunately aren't as high this go around! Which is to say, if you fail to have any grand emotional epiphanies by the time this event ends, you aren't doomed to suffer a character death; symptoms will simply dissipate come January 20th.

So what's this sickness going to be like in this particular instance, then? We're so glad you asked!

You can go the standard route, of course. Adventurers' first brush with the illness saw the following afflicted upon them:

[ ♆ ] Stage One: Germination. Initial symptoms involve fever, coughing fits, numbness to nerves and extremities, and general joint stiffness. Difficulty breathing or performing other basic functions will often occur. Fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and intense weakness or dizzy spells are also liable to occur as the flowers begin to harvest nutrients from the body. This will also generate extreme thirst and periods of intense nausea. Tremors and the sensation of something "itching" from inside are also common. The end of Stage One is usually marked by the act of vomiting or coughing up flower petals or spores, along with a not-insignificant amount of blood.

[ ♆ ] Stage Two: Budding. The floral growths spread more completely inside the body, and begin to grow on the skin or exterior. Difficulty performing basic functions will increase as, for example, airways become obstructed and flowers grow around joints and pinch them still. The site of affliction also yields rashes, blisters, and blood sores as the flowers sprout from the skin. The rate of vomiting or coughing up floral growths will increase dramatically. Flowers often bloom quickly, and very painfully. Numbness in affected areas will increase, oftentimes rendering parts of the body completely inert - a pair of legs claimed completely by blooms, for example, will no longer work.

This was followed by Stage Three: Bloom, which resulted in character death. However, this strain will not advance to this style of Stage Three. All symptoms will disperse by the time Umui resurfaces.

This strain is also rather more erratic, which can make emotional repression more of an inconvenience than a horrifying circumstance. For those who would rather not play around with intense sickness (or who have already endured this once before), you have the option to go that route if you like! With this variant of the Overgrowth, one can become, for example, so embarrassed that they hiccup up a flower. A vicious denial of their feelings may cause them to spontaneously erupt into a rash of dandelion puffballs, seemingly immediately. You might end up walking around with a bouquet for an arm for a few hours. Perhaps mortifying, but certainly not fatal! Isn't that nice?

Unless, of course, you want it to be...

I Can't Fight It Much Longer

Now, while the Bloom Stage isn't present in this strain, it has mutated its progression into a rather nasty end stage. Those of you who succumb a little too readily to this illness, who don't fight off the emotional repression quickly, who don't admit those difficult truths to yourself or confess to whatever you're bottling up, you'll be faced with a potentially horrifying transformation. Potentially, because it is your choice whether or not you see fit to commit your character to that fate - as stated above, this option might simply skip over your character entirely, and the worst they'll have to deal with are cartoonishly over-the-top effects that disperse in due time.

But maybe not all of you will be so lucky. Some of you might discover for yourselves how this particular variant of the Overgrowth has mutated.

We call this mutation Stage Three: Outbreak.

In this final Stage, those beautiful blooms wither and harden into a fungus-like carapace as the illness grows into the victim's brain and shuts down virtually all higher functions. This can sometimes render them almost wholly recognizable, but not always - oftentimes, it's very obvious who this person once was. The victim is reduced to a carrier of the virus, which causes them to act the way you'd expect most viruses to act: becoming intent on spreading. Advanced brain functions such as speech, rational thought, and so on tend to shut off and become wholly inaccessible.

Now that the victim's body is no longer fighting the Overgrowth, the illness lends them increased speed, strength, and durability, making them dangerous foes indeed. They will usually seek to infect others by whatever means necessary - usually via biting or exuding breathable spores - but in some cases, they will simply reduce to base instincts, and just outright attempt to attack and kill whoever is closest.

Unfortunately, at this point, there is no hope of a cure; it's hard to make someone be emotionally honest when they're capable of little more than blunt, animal instinct. At this point, you can either wait for the Stage Three symptoms to disperse come Umui's return, or take manners into your own hands. You can probably guess what that might entail.

If you decide to put your Overgrown friends out of their misery, this will count as a character death. If it comes to that, be sure to let us know on the Deaths page! Death penalties, however, will not be reduced for this event.

Try to Get Through It

Of course, there's a lot going on in the background as well. You're free to use this log as a catch-all for the duration of January's Undercurrent Event, as well as any of the other minor events listed on our Monthly Rundown post. And, of course, you are always free to create your own individual logs and posts as needed.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them over on the Questions header on our Rundown post!

January Timeline

[ ♆ ] January 1st: "This Sucks" begins and lasts until January 10th
[ ♆ ] January 3rd: "Growing Pains" begins and lasts until January 20th
[ ♆ ] January 11th: "No Water is Safe" begins and lasts until January 19th
[ ♆ ] January 20th: Umui returns to the archipelago
[ ♆ ] January 21st: "Impawsible Geometries" begins and lasts until January 31st

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

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With you? Always. [Keith says as he puts down the knife he was sharpening. His right arm is still stiff but it’s been getting better. The more people he talks to and admits the truth, the less pain he feels from it.

The glass-like blade rests back in the niche he made to allow him to sharpen it with just one hand. Keith turns away from his work to fully face Kravitz. The sand and the sea are at his back and the bound braid over his shoulder shifts, exposing the same red flowers as last time, peaking out of his shirt collar.]

I was such a mess last time this happened. I barely knew a damn thing. [He smiles and it warms his violet eyes.] Glad this time I can help a close friend. Tell me whatever comes to mind. Seems to help pinpoint what to say.

[At least this time, it's someone he knows and trusts. It feels a little repetitive, for all they've said to each other, but they don't have much of a choice but to rehash their troubles to stop them from eating their insides up.]

I know the feeling. I was lacking quite a bit of my own self-awareness when I arrived here. I'm... hoping it's easier this time.

[He's trying, at least. He's always trying. That's more than could really be said for him last time, when he just stayed to support everyone around him.]

It's... well, it would be easier over again. I am glad that the others I lived with are not here to catch this again, but... I miss their companionship. Lup's fire would be especially appreciated now to target these growths directly, as she did for me the last time.

[Keith nods once,] Yeah. [He swallows and pushes past his desire to let Kravitz just say everything. It's easier for him if someone else shares too. So he does.]

Last time Shiro vanished right before we got to Umui. We'd had a conversation about how things hadn't gone the right way. He wanted me to lead the Paladins regardless of how I felt like a failure as a leader. Kept leaving that damn bayard in my bag.

[He grimaces and it is a little easier to say it this time. He isn't the young grieving leader he was. He keeps going, his voice strained but clear.] Hunk and Pidge showed up, with no knowledge of what I am and no clue of anything Lance and I knew.

Shiro vanished and I was left for three Paladins who needed a leader. A leader I didn't feel like I was.

[Kravitz immediately softens, letting the grief and fear radiate from Keith as he takes it into his own mind. That loneliness is something he can understand, something he can now conceptualize as lonely. A feeling that he thinks has always been present but could never identify as what made his bones feel so hollow, his soul feel so unmoored. The sympathy reads on his face, and he exhales as he tries to find words.]

I'm-- I'm so sorry. That must have been incredibly isolating, to think your friends knew you but to then have to go through that harrowing confrontation again. Did... you ever tell them? While they were here?

[He assumes from the context that they knew back where Keith was from, but who knows with the way time works here how that shook out.]

I did. They weren't bothered by it. It was a lot easier to deal with. [He reaches out to gently set a hand on Kravitz's shoulder, his voice low.] So, what were you lacking in self awareness before?

I know you're lonely now but what else? Talk to me.

What have you come to see here? [He can't be the only one to talk or Kravitz won't survive this.]

[He makes a little face as Keith turns the questions back on him; of course he knows this is necessary, but pushing down the initial discomfort of the task still comes with emotions about it to face.]

I, I mean... when Umui first came, I didn't know the word for what I was. I didn't think loneliness was something I could even feel, or should be-- I wasn't a mortal, I was more akin to celestial. Gods don't get lonely. They're above that. I, I wanted to be above that.

[Kravitz thinks idly about carding his hand through his hair, but goes to make the motion and stops. Unnecessary, when things still hurt.]

I knew there would be a day where I'd have to go back to that. When they would leave. I feel foolish for getting so comfortable that the day would be far off.

...I don’t think any being is immune to loneliness. There’s so many stories about being lonely and things created because of that. [Keith says.]

I never ran out of stories like that when I was bouncing from home to home. Every culture has them. It’s okay...and this place doesn’t fight fair. At home they probably have a long time before they go. And you’ll see them there.

But I get it. When I got here I was in this mindset that I had to be emotionless and apart from everyone. Blades are supposed to put the mission above all else. Even our own lives.

Well of course mortals aren't able to keep up with it. You're-- people are social. All living things are, to a degree, but humanoids especially. They thrive on packs and hierarchy, support and respect.

[He sighs, because he's recognizing the language he's using here- mortals, people, humanoids. Not we. Not him, because he exists somewhere Other, because he should be above those problems.]

I... thought myself a god. But I wasn't. That said, I still could not call myself a mortal or concerned at all with mortal's lives. It left me in a singularly unique position. There was... no one who could absolutely understand. Of course, my Lady tried, having come from modest upbringing. But... otherwise, I was in a state that no one else occupied.

[He watches his friend's face and reaches for his shoulder. If allowed he squeezes it, eyes on his face. What can he do to help? He doesn't know. Keith swallows and says softly,]

...that sucks. [He tries to imagine it. But even trying to feels like flipping his blade around and shoving it between his ribs. Keith says,]

But you're not wrong, people are social. If nothing else, this place really drives that home. I can understand a little what it's like to have no one who could absolutely understand. Not the whole picture, obviously.

[He smiles but there's no humor in it. His smile falls.] What do you want to be, Kravitz? Maybe that's what this sickness wants this time. What you want. Even if it's a mess of wants that don't match up. It's your feelings.

[What he wants? Well that's... something to consider, if that is the topic. He goes to respond but falls short, taking a breath before he finds he has nothing to carry it on.]

I... I really don't know. When I had only the gods, all I wanted was to be above mortal stations, become something greater. But now, I cannot imagine giving it all up to go. I... don't know if I fit truly as either, in the end.

[He sighs, trying to get his thoughts in check.]

I suppose I just did not want to feel alone again. But that is... selfish, to demand someone share my fate. I couldn't demand it.

[Keith says nothing for a long moment. Then he lifts his head and says softly,]

And if they give that time willingly? ...if, if I do outlive Shiro and everyone else. I'll take that step with you. I'm okay with that.

[If he outlived Shiro, then he likely would outlive all but Allura. She is a queen to be, she'd have her people and whatever children she decided to have. His mother would understand.]

I don't know how to belong to just one world either. But, maybe we can find some kind of balance.

[He looks like he's in deep contemplation, really running Keith's words over in his mouth and his mind. Eventually though, Kravitz shakes his head.]

It's a more complicated process than just saying you could do it. It's ultimately up to my Lady who joins her purview. It would be up to her to see something in you as she did me, or... have use for you, in some way.

[The memories he has of his own, original death, were long forgotten until his age changed many months ago. Now, he doesn't know how to feel about all that.]

Not that you need a certain level of qualifications, or anything. I believe I was just in the right place at the right time.

If it is at all possible, I'm willing to do it. If she has to find me favorable or whatever, just know that.

[It's something.] I know that won't fix the feeling. ...I still feel it sometimes. I think to some degree I always will just like I won't really leave the war behind. Feels a bit like I got pieces of glass I have to take out.

You know? We can try to figure out something. Even if it's just talking about things and getting it into the open air.

[He looks like he's thinking about it for a few moments before his shoulders shake gently with a small laugh at his own thoughts. As it does though, the petals over that mantle are jostled, and a few begin to fall as the plants get more delicate, less fed.]

I suppose I could put in a good word for you, when the time comes. But that is an incredibly, terribly difficult choice. I won't ask you to make it until you absolutely have to, and even then... I would hold no ill will at your refusal.

[That does have him thinking about his circumstances, though. A situation he hasn't talked about for so long, he'd forgotten it entirely. But it is... well, maybe this is one of those things the Overgrowth wanted, that he couldn't provide. Maybe he should.

It's hard to think about doing it. All that proves to him is that he probably really, really should.]

Do you... want to hear about it? How I became her bounty hunter so long ago?

We'll see what the future holds. But no matter what, it's an honor to know you and fight beside you. ...and to be your friend. [His eyes snag on the petals beginning to fall. His heart feels a little lighter. It's not an offer he ever makes lightly to give himself up for others. But Kravitz is worth it. He looks up at his face and nods.]

I want to hear anything you're willing to share with me. Always.

[Conversely, from their history, Kravitz would be very concerned that Keith might give himself up too many times. But that's not important, not relevant for a conversation that may never happen. Right now, he's doing enough by listening to a story Kravitz hasn't told in a thousand years.

One he didn't even remember.]

Well, you-- you met me, as a child, so I don't need to give much background. I was the third of four children, all others girls. My mother was human, but my father a drow of the dark elves, a shunned upon subrace who dwelled, often exiled, beneath the dirt. He had escaped that life to meet my mother in... some fashion I'm no longer clear on. But I grew up with a fairly normal childhood on the family farm. While my sisters were married and often moved far, I... stayed close to home. I was fond of my family and had little interest in what else lay out there. I was... content, to live a simple life.

[He sighs, wishing he could remember some of the details in the middle of the better times, but he simply can't. This will just have to be enough.]

I was out on an errand when it happened. I had... well, a rapport with those who lived near us to keep our heritage on the down-low, as it was. I was ambushed walking in the street as the sun set, and was taken quickly without much fuss. As it turns out, they were under the assumption I was my father, and they needed the blood of a drow for their... ritual. Of which I quickly realized required more than blood.

They were, supposedly, worshippers of the Raven Queen, set to sacrifice something they deemed evil to the clutches of her hold. They had thought that since her domain is oft known as death, this would appease her, but-- that is missing her message. She tracks the progression of the natural order, that those who suffer grevious wounds pass on, that people are not killed for energy to siphon from their souls. I didn't know what was going on, I-- I didn't even know who she was. I simply recall the dagger in my chest, the twisting pain, and then nothing.

[And that would have been the end, for any others. Unless...]

As it seems, I was not the first of these sacrifices, and my Lady wanted to send them a message to their unacceptable behavior. So when it all faded away, when my reality and I was nothingness, it coalesced into a single question. "Will they pay for this?" And... I said yes.

And then... I was awake again. The knife from my chest was in my hand, the men before me cowering in fear as I rose. Theirs were the first souls I ever collected for her.

[Finally, finally, his eyes look toward Keith, scanning for some kind of reaction.]

I still don't recall all the details. But it is clearer in my mind's eye now, when I had forgotten for so long.

[This is the story of his friend’s existence. He has to wonder why his mortal time was forgotten. Maybe he himself forgot after so long. Keith swallows back his nausea and breathes in, he doesn’t smile. Whatever he is feeling is mixed. Flashes of anger and sadness mixed with sickness and understanding.

He speaks softly.] They had to be stopped and by taking you as hers it settled two things at once. Justice and giving you a way to live on. Still, it sucks that happened.

I’m not surprised but, [But all Kravitz wanted was to live peacefully. Someone selfishly took that chance away from him. He pushes down his anger and sadness that he was robbed of that and says,] Thanks for sharing that with me.

[He knows Keith isn't fully expressing himself, and also knows for all his trepidation that he made the right decision in telling him for the way his own blooms are fading, dropping in clumps of petals. Kravitz feels like he can move more, so he reaches forward to put his hand on Keith's shoulder.]

Please, don't let my tale be the source of further sickness from you. You can speak your thoughts. I am past the need to be consoled about this, when it happened so long ago. I have made my peace enough to forget any fine details that may have plagued me. Alright?

[Keith can't help but lean into the hand on his shoulder. He doesn't open up to many people but this is his closest friend aside from Shiro and quickly...Quentin. He sucks in a sharp breath as he says his voice thick with anger,]

I know Drow and Galra have done bad things. It's eons of a regime that shaped them but...I still. I feel so tired and angry every time I run into this kind of hatred. You weren't harming anyone! Your family were harmless.

Yet they deemed you evil. It's pretty likely your neighbors betrayed you and all because...

[He closes his eyes for a moment.] I know it doesn't matter now. I just wish you hadn't been robbed of what you wanted.

[Kravitz only nods as Keith speaks, feeling those emotions like an old wound. He used to think about that often, a grinding of his own trauma. It simply wasn't something he could surmount, but he's had far longer than Keith to handle that. When he seems to reach a breaking point, Kravitz does only what comes naturally.

Which now, is just to pull him into a hug.]

Every society has done wrong. We are not meant to carry the blame for other's choices. There will always be fear of things that do not deserve that fear, but... we can change it individually. We can make a difference between people. And that matters.

[Keith’s eyes go wide with surprise as Kravitz pulls him in. The stiffness and fight goes out of him and he sags against him, surrendering to the touch. He isn’t used to this. He has people he is willing to hug or hug him.

His arms go around Kravitz and he closes his eyes.] Y-yeah. Little by little we can make a difference. ...even just being the Black Paladin it changes things. I can’t erase what Zarkon did in a life time but...I can make it easier for those that come after. Just like you are.

[In one respect, he feels like the strong protector he's been in the past-- and at the same time, he feels like he's being held through his own grief. It always feels like it's been too long since he properly died, since he even remembered what death truly was, for him to be hung up on it. And yet... it can always linger. Everything lingers.]

We can. And I believe we will. But remember that is not your only purpose in life. Your lineage, parentage, history may be gifts to you of the past, but that does not make them your entire future. Your life is your own. It does not need to be in constant service for you to have done good.

[He makes a small sound that's more exhaustion than anything else. Since this sickness came back to them he's gotten very little sleep and rushed around trying to save those who wanted to be saved.

Keith doesn't let go. He feels safe enough to keep talking.] I didn't grow up knowing what I was. Once I learned it, I got used to people denying it or not accepting me on either side. It's...maybe easier than it should be to know I'm a Paladin before anything else.

A Blade of the Marmora after that. Wired to save everyone else before I even think of myself.

[He nods a wordless agreement, not exactly seen but likely felt.]

I knew myself when I was young, but not my role. Not until my death and the service I pledged to her. It was complicated enough in life to be a step away from most, but to be a being between mortality and godhood, an existence without the trappings of the mortal world but without the wisdom of the deities... well. I understand the feeling of concentrating on others, when your situation is so complex and specific.

[They're more alike than he could have thought, and in a way, it's comforting-- that someone could do something very distinct from his own path in terms of actions, but still end up with the same emotional beats, the same struggles. Even if there aren't other Reapers, that doesn't make him alone. There will always be people who understand, and he's found clear evidence of that right here.]

[Keith closes his eyes. Death and The Black Paladin resonate. If that had been told to him ages ago he would have stared at them. He slowly lets go of Kravitz and steps back, slapping at his back. Bits of dead flowers fall to their feet.

He slowly smiles, something small and real lit from within by the swirl of feelings in his chest. Gratitude, affection, quiet calm and contentment. Worry still dances there and always will just by the nature of the islands.]

I knew you would. Well, that’s the lives we are leading. I know who I am. You know who you are. One way or the other we’ll be okay. And so no flowers grow out of me for keeping this to myself.

You’re the closest person to me other than Shiro. I will always have your back when you need it.

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deathfindsaway - 2020-03-06 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

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January Undercurrent: Growing Pains

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