lifeaftr | The best part about winning is getting to loot the bodies [OPEN MINGLE]

[Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and all that nonsense. Now Guzma wasn't part of the fight to take this fucker down, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want a piece or two of whatever it was hoarding. Even dragons back home have their dens of knickknacks and loot they've gathered. Not as fine as some, no, but nonetheless they have their respective hoards when encountered by (unwitting, or stupid) Trainers.

The scales he's gotten quite a few of - he needs a few extra shingles for the house, just in case - and that wing membrane might make a decent tarp, or blanket, if treated properly. He'll have to ask people about it at some point... Now, after the, uh...organic goods are tended to, he'll tinker about inside. Gold is useless in this place, as much as his conscious is telling him to fill his pockets, but those weapons... Tempting. Extremely. he sword is gorgeous, and powerful no doubt, but when the fuck has he ever learned to use a sword? Nah, he's eyeing the knife, weighing it in his hand and flicking the blade about. Not bad.

He's just about to wander out, maybe grab a handful of gold or jewels just to have as a bartering tool - who knows when some riches may come in handy - before he spots his favorite blue friend.]

Yo, D-- [His raised hand lowers slowly, and the look of happiness and greeting on his ace falls the moment he spies that...thing circling them. Mother of Mew. It's like a Lunatone and Mr. Mime tried to breed. He takes a few steps back, giving them a new, wide berth, clearing his throat loudly.] Yeah, uh...y'know what? Nevermind.

I'm--hrrm... I am good.

[KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM HIM.]

[The Drifter glances at him with their head slightly to one side. The Orb makes a low, rumbling hrrrm sort of sound, as though pondering this strange new friend, and fixes Guzma with an unsettlingly blank and empty stare.]

good
?

[They have not, evidently, picked up on just what about this strange new companion is so unsettling. It's no different than their sprite, no? It has a less definitive function, assuming it has any function at all, but unless it starts getting in the way of things, they see no need to disregard it. It seems like it must be, in some way, sentient. Yes?]

[THANKS, HE HATES IT.

The shudder is felt deep in Guzma's bones, and yet he feels if he breaks eye-contact with the heinous orb, it'll kill him, somehow. That's what it feels like, and he has to forcibly glance at Drifter with a pained expression, eyes flicking back to the terrible sphere orbiting them slowly. Arceus above, it's so...so grotesque. He's so damn glad he didn't come upon that thing himself, my god.]

Y-Yeah, I uh...was just saying 'sup. So. [He raises a hand in a stiff, jerky form of greeting, his smile tight and sharp, eyes back on the AWFUL GLOBE WITH A FACE. delete it.]

[Clearly, he's not enjoying something about this. Even the Drifter, blunt and occasionally clueless as they are, can acknowledge this much. They follow his gaze to the orb, and then look back to him.]

new companion

[They point to it, helpfully. See? It's not hurting anyone. Just hovering, the way their sprite does.]

Yeah...I can see that.

[His grimace doesn't fade, and Guzma can't help but wrinkle his nose as that blank-looking, emotionless void of a face continues to watch him. Unsettlingly... He makes a low groan in his throat, leaning back away from it an inch or two before finally sighing and just speaking his peace at last. Who is he to beat around the bush anyway?]

Jeez, but it's freaking looking! Are y'really sure it's not, like...cursed? Because, oof...sure as heck looks it, yo.

harmless

[They're pretty sure, anyway. It hasn't hurt anyone yet. They glance at it, and then back to Guzma. It's...obvious that he's unsettled. Maybe more than unsettled. There's no easy way to broach this topic other than to address it plainly - which is something they tend to do anyway.]

do not like it
?

[Is it though? Guzma looks dubious, and the grimace he gives the terrible orb speaks volumes in and of itself that he thinks that what the Drifter said is, plainly--

Absolute horseshit. It's not its expression--...okay, not ENTIRELY its expression, but the whole aura it radiates. Which is, in lamens terms - extremely cursed. He scratches at his chin, jaw jutted out as a long. slow breath is sucked in between his teeth. The smile is...forced. Almost painfully so.]

Nah, I...I can't say I do.

At all.

[HM. They're not one to enjoy unsettling the people they know and like well enough. The Drifter regards the orb with their head slightly to one side, before finally turning to Guzma with a slightly apologetic bend to their neck.]

do not know how to turn off
touched it
began to follow

[It didn't bother them, but now that they're thinking of it, it could perhaps unbalance their routine - or make it difficult to sneak up on someone, if this creature is mumbling and murmuring the entire way.]

[So they touched it and it turned on? Guzma hums to himself, mimicking his blue pal and tilting his head to the side as well, as he observes the terrible creature and hums. If it activated by touch would the same turn it off, maybe? It's worth a shot. Otherwise, Guzma has a shovel...he could bury it.

Or smash it. Both options sound extremely appealing to him personally.]

Yo, maybe try poking it again? Might turn the dang thing off, yeah? Let it be someone else's problem.

may be sentient

[One cannot neglect or disregard a strange being, purely because it is undesirable. At least, that is what the Drifter would like to believe. They are perhaps relating to a strange, floating object that may or may not be sapient a bit more than is necessary.]

[They tap at it again, but it does not seem to respond in any particular fashion, merely humming indistinctly as it regards them balefully.]

communication appears limited

[That whole sentient thing makes Guzma visibly shudder, from the pit of his stomach to the base of his neck. The thought that horrible rock could be actually...living, thinking, plotting is unnerving, as as he gazes at it again, Guzma's grimace only worsens. Why would anyone think to bring this thing into existence? What unruly god willed this? Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

GUzma sighs, rubbing at his hair and slouching as his shoulders sag. There's really not much he can do with this - Guzma's not a tech savvy guy, and he's pretty sure his buddy here would object to his methods of getting rid of something.]

Then I got no clue on how t'turn it off and what-not. Guess if it ain't hurting nobody...s'not all that bad? Just looks plain creepy.

will try to find out

[If it upsets him, they don't want it to be a perpetual thing that throws him off. It's their hope that the answer is...somewhat reassuring, at least.]

[Even if that were not the case, it bears learning more about regardless. One never knows the perils of picking up unknown equipment without instruction. This is seldom a wise idea.]

good to know about equipment

True that, man, I'm hoping this is just an ordinary knife...

[Like, he needed a new knife - his was getting dull, and even just sharpening it wasn't really cutting it. It's time for a replacement, but now he's...a little dubious. If all the items have some sort of magical property, what does this one do? He didn't exactly test it, after all. One expects a knife to just be a knife, after all.

He looks at the Drifter before flipping said knife in his hands, tilting his head to one side.] Should I, uh...test it?

[The Drifter only considers that for a moment before nodding.]

recommended course of action

[They turn back to their floating friend. Try reaching out to grab at either side of its bulbous head to pull it down, but it proves rather heavy, and doesn't seem to appreciate being handled in the least. If they want to get rid of it, they may have to resort to force.]

[Will that hurt it?]

[It's a conundrum.]

knife is from here?

Mm, yeah. Picked it up in the pile - was looking for something kinda like this, since mine's been wearing out something fierce. Hopefully it ain't too cursed or nothing, I don't need no sentient knife following me around...

[If he wanted a Honedge, he'd sly his ass to Kalos and catch one, but he's not that type of Trainer. That's more the work of spooks and weirdo ghost trainers like Acerola.

He flips the knife around in his hand a bit, before kicking around some earth to find...aha! A root, that should do nicely. He kneels down, the usual Guzma squat, and gives it a few tentative prods with the blade. ...Hm, nothing crazy happening. He picks up the loose bit of root and...squish?

Why is it squishy?]

What the--?! [It smells sweet? Almost cakey.] Is this...no way. I ain't about to eat dirt to test this out.

[Even in spite of their own...current predicament, the Drifter does not have an immediate solution to how to shut off their floating companion, exactly, so Guzma's own struggle quickly catches their attention. They blink, stare at the chunk of root he's cut away. Their sense of smell, impeded as it is by their mantle, is not so nonexistent that they cannot smell it.]

[It smells sweet.]

does not smell like dirt

[In response, Guzma make a sort of noncommittal grunt, and looks at the now spongy substance in between his fingers dubiously. He has a guess as to what it is, but he's not sure, and testing the theory isn't on the top of his list, all things considered. Still, that seems like the only way to be sure...]

Jeez...the world sure likes to test me. Bottom's up, I guess. [And with the Kanye-est of shrugs, Guzma pops the piece of root into his mouth. Yolo.] Mmh...I knew ith.

[He talks between mouthfuls, like an animal.] Ith's cake.

[The Drifter watches perhaps not anxiously, but with the air of someone who's ready to act if things go catastrophically wrong. They do, after all, still have a number of healing vials on hand, which would hopefully save someone from being poisoned or sickened by eating something they should not.]

[Guzma makes the leap from smelling it to eating it, which is admittedly not the Drifter's instinct, at least at first, and they start very slightly but freeze as soon as he starts speaking again. It's clear that he's not hurt, or that the taste is even unobjectionable.]

[It's cake.]

knife turns things to cake
?

[Guzma chews, swallows, and nods his head.] Seems like it, with is, uh...well. It's something.

[Not what he expected at all, but you know what? He'll take it. I mean, with this thing, he'll never really go hungry, but his teeth might rot out of his skull (before or after he develops diabetes is anyone's guess though) something fierce. Probably going to need maybe a bone knife one of these days, after some of the more crafty people can make 'em.]

Not exactly what I anticipated, but, uhh...better'n that thing. [He waggles the knife (blunt edge first, he's not a barbarian) at the still floating orb.]

[They almost want to know what would happen if he attempted to cut into it with the blade, to see if it would turn that into cake as well. But they also haven't forgotten that it may very well be sentient. That would be a cruel end to submit.]

supply of food

[Not the healthiest food, they'll grant you, but now he certainly won't go hungry.]

Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Gonna have to, uh...get used to the idea of eating things what don't look edible though.

[That's gonna get weird, too...especially if he forgets something like wood, leaves, and hell...rocks haven't been touched by his knife. Heaven knows he'll make that mistake and chip a tooth one day or something, god.]

And--mmm... W-Well, if'n your...buddy there gets a little too noxious for your tastes, bro, I guess I got you. [Meaning he will spear that thing easily, Guzma's far less generous than the Drifter, but he won't outright attack it if it's not hurting anyone. And like hell is he gonna eat anything with a fucking face like that, either.]

[The Drifter has at least considered simply because of the proximity of one item to the other, so the suggestion isn't innately horrifying, but they very politely shake their head. It is...nice? Of him to offer? In a sense? They can acknowledge that.]

will learn how to deactivate if possible
no cause for violence

[No reason to kill something unless it's trying to kill you first, after all. That's the rule of most drifters, and they're no exception.]

The best part about winning is getting to loot the bodies [OPEN MINGLE]

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