lifeaftr | [Closed] Pride of Lions

[The wind off the sea does little to clear his head. Keith spins and slashes, going through the motions of honing his skills. But his head isn’t in it. He has memories of being different. His skill level in comparison is...

Ten years younger. It feels wrong. He feels wrong. It will pass but- He stops, sweat running down his chin. His eyes narrow and he growls. Keith turns and stalks away back towards the fire pit in front of the house.

They were screwed with again. He grabs for the kindling and lays it out in the bare pit. Ember drops off the roof as he arranges the burnable material in the right order. It’s still early but he might as well start making breakfast now rather than later. He can work off all that energy.

Far better to be productive than enraged and...aching for that connection and level of comfort he had in his memories. He shuts it out and grabs the spear his older self made, taking a moment to hone the point while the Phoenix hops into the pit and bursts into flame.]

[ Shiro feels off-balance, unsettled, like everything's been turned upside down and inside out. In a way, it has. He's ten years younger, but he still remembers. He remembers a lot, but mostly, what he remembers... ]

Keith.

[ His voice is soft, and he falls into step beside him.

His finger feels bare without the ring, and he's not sure he likes it. ]

Takashi. [Shiro is beside him. His hand looks wrong without the ring. He tucks that into the same box as his thoughts about himself and leans into him. The spear tip is thrust up within range of the dancing flames but not enough to be touched by them. Fire hardening anything isn't about letting it burn.

It's a lesson in patience and the irony of that while he stays tucked up against Shiro's side is not something that escapes him.]

Thought I'd make breakfast a little earlier. Can't seem to settle today. [If Shiro wants to talk about the strangeness they both are not sure how to feel about...he's up for that. But it's up to him, he won't make their decision to push that out there.

He can't tell if it's respect for Shiro or cowardice on his part.]

[ The thing about them is that they've always been able to pick up on how they feel, on what they're thinking. Then again... it's obvious what's on Keith's mind. It's on his. They're both missing their rings, but it's less about the object than it is what they mean.

He wraps an arm around Keith, gentle but strong. ]

I can't blame you, [ he replies softly. There's a moment or two of silence that passes between them before Shiro speaks again. ]

Do you want to talk about it? About our future.

[One of the many things he loves about Shiro is being treated not only like an equal but that his feelings matter. Shiro's thoughts and feelings matter to him too. Everyone's does. But being given that avenue to say yes or no...

His heart beats a little faster in his chest and he rests his head on one powerful shoulder.] Yeah, I want to talk about that.

[There's a bit of silence as he tries to find the words and finally all that comes out as he lays the spear aside is,]

I keep looking for it and getting mad at myself for being careless. But then I remember it's not there and we haven't been together for eleven years.

[ He nods, and he's quiet as Keith speaks. His words cut right to the bone; Shiro feels exactly the same way. He presses a kiss to the top of Keith's head. ]

So do I. [ He closes his eyes. ] It doesn't feel right, not wearing it. It's such a small thing, but...

It meant everything.

[He tips his head up and runs his hand along Shiro’s jaw.] I’ll do it again, whenever you’re ready. I don’t mind waiting if it’s you.

[It still means everything. He is willing to wait to have that weight again. He never needs a symbol to tell Shiro how much he loves him.] You’re it for me. As long as you know that, I’m okay.

[ He leans into the touch not unlike a cat. He opens his eyes. There's so much love, warmth... Shiro touches his forehead to Keith's. ]

You're the one for me, too. The same goes for you. Just say the word. [ He places his hand over Keith's, and he grins. ] I think we just proposed to each other.

[His lips twitch at the corners then turn up. He turns his hand and threads their fingers together. Shiro's hand is warm, it always is but like this, it soothes some of the aches.

No matter what they have this. This is theirs.] I think we did.

[His hand still feels bare but knowing Shiro feels the same way...] We should sort out all our memories first. It feels weird. I can see where my skills are lacking what I would do in other circumstances.

[He can see so much and it bothers him. Yet he feels like the one person who will understand that better than anyone is right here. He tucks himself up against Shiro.] ...was this what it was like when you first woke up after...Allura moved your soul?

I'm not complaining. And... yeah. Figuring out all these memories should come first.

[ Spending the rest of his life with Keith... he can't imagine a better way to spend it. His uncertainty about the future seems so far away, but Shiro knows that it really wasn't that long ago. He remembers his younger self--how he'd felt so confused, bewildered at the fact that he couldn't feel anything from his disease.

But here, holding Keith, he knows that he has a long, happy future ahead of him. He doesn't take it for granted. Shiro's lucky, and he's glad for every single day.

He presses a kiss to the top of Keith's head. ]

It kind of was. [ He squeezes Keith gently. ] Mostly, I was trying to get used to being a person again. But everything felt... amplified, intense. Sometimes it was a little overwhelming. [ A little. ] And sometimes it didn't feel real.

[He shuts his eyes for a moment. He hasn’t been able to let Shiro go. He couldn’t let him stay as a trapped soul or a dying man who had never had a say in his creation. Both ‘Shiro’ were important.

And he knows Shiro is downplaying it.] ...it makes sense you spent a year as a soul.

[And a year as an unknowing sleeper agent. Keith doesn’t fill that portion in.] ....is it still that way?

[He lifts his head and turns to fully face him. As a rule he keeps an eye on how Shiro reacts to subtly support him when he needs it. And talking about things is always on each other’s time. But he had brought it up and now he wonders.]

[ He's quiet for a while before he nods. ]

Sometimes. I dream about being back in Black sometimes. [ He pauses and threads his fingers through Keith's hair. ] It's easier when I wake up and you're there next to me.

[ He still has moments where he needs to feel Keith's touch, or touch Keith--a simple touch on the shoulder, the press of Keith's weight against his side. Keith steadies him, helps him remember that he's here and real and alive. ]

[His fingers brush against Shiro's jaw as he leans into him and the hand in his hair. There's a ghost of ten years of memories of moments just like this. Their quiet talks and the support that keeps them both going and mends some of the damage life dealt.

Keith runs his hand down Shiro's chest and fists his fingers in his shirt to draw him into a kiss.] Easier for me too. When I have nightmares you're right there. Thanks for that.

[He still hasn't fully talked about why he has nightmares. Why he avoids flowers like the plague. But enough has been said...and his scars that match both markings of the Black Lion, and some of Shiro's own...likely says enough.] ...should get breakfast going or we'll forget about it.

[As much as he'd love to climb into Shiro's lap as if he were a sturdy tree and let the moment take them...they could get interrupted.]

[ He leans into the touch, pressing quick, little kisses to his fingers. It's healing, the little touches he receives and gives. Comforting. It feels like home, and he dwells on that thought as he returns the kiss automatically and easily. ]

You don't have to worry about me not being next to you. [ His voice is soft and warm, and he gives Keith a smile. ] And yeah. Breakfast sounds great.

[ He could lose a lot of time, just holding Keith and talking quietly. But other things are necessary, too, like food. Unfortunately. ]

Just let me know what you need me to do, and I've got your back.

Can you get the fire back up? It died down a lot while we were talking. [His voice is soft and low as he gets his bearings back. He'd fished this morning and he gets up to collect his catches from the basket he keeps below the water line. It keeps the fish fresh.

Keith hauls the basket up onto the bank and pulls out his glass-like knife.] I'll catch something else tomorrow. [He pauses and looks back at Shiro as he pushes his hair out of his eyes. As much as he worries he'll wake up and Shiro will be gone one day...]

I know I don't have to worry about you not being there. I'm just glad you know I'll always be there for you too.

Sure.

[ He works to get the fire up and going; it's not too difficult, and it gives his hands something to do. He glances to Keith and gives him a smile--the sort only Keith ever gets to see. ]

Yeah. You've always been at my side. [ His voice softens. ] I don't think I could ever tell you just how much that means to me, Keith.

[His smile in return lights up his eyes and softens his fond expression.] Take your time. You know I’ll be right there listening. We’ll figure out how to express everything in time.

[He doesn’t have the ring. But the vow and the loyalty are there. It’s enough. He lays the fish on a warm flat rock and gets up. He snags the water bucket he keeps for cleaning fish and sets it to the side. The glass-like knife is laid against one fish. He notes to himself he should forge pots and pans some time.]

Can you grab the other water bucket by the house? I’ll get these fish ready to cook while you get it.

[Allura is... relatively quiet, for much of the day. Part of it is realizing what else is going on. The rest is bottling up her own thoughts on the matter and wanting to help ease any worries the others may have had with her. Okay, and maybe laugh a little at a certain someone thinking she's a fairy. That was cute.

After a while, once she's done what she can for the others, she allows all the implications to hit her. Slowly, the princess of a lost people leans against the back wall and allows herself to slide to the ground. Allura wraps her arms around her legs and buries her face in her knees. The absence of her tiara is made all the more clear to her in the silent gesture.

She wants to believe that it all will happen. Everything from the false memories of the future, and yet she winds up simply biting back the whine that wants to escape the back of her throat. The tigerlily nudges her side gently, a chuff escaping her throat and the princess absently pets the creature's side.

She'll have to burn the remnants of the flower crowns later. If she could even find where she'd placed them as a small child. Right now, however, she continues to sit behind their house and buries her face into the furry and vined neck of her companion.]

[Footsteps come from around the side of the house. Keith appears, his hair hanging loose and damp from a shower. He sits down at her left side and takes something out of his pocket. Several Phoenix feathers are woven with leather thread and beads, gently clinking against each other. He lays it on his thigh.

After a moment of silence, he gently places a hand on her shoulder. He has a thought and he intends to follow it through. For now she needs to know she isn't alone and he does that, speaking softly.]

It's okay to not be okay.

[Ears wiggle slightly, picking up the noise even though she otherwise doesn't budge. Allura would place the weight distribution and the silence of each one if she didn't also remember the difference ten years had made in them. It throws her off until he sits beside her without a word.

She recalls being closer to everyone, remembers allowing them to see how she truly feels without hindering herself. To discover it was all a lie...

It's a silent promise she starts to work towards that she doesn't entirely freeze at the weight of Keith's hand on her shoulder, both of them still shaking with quiet sobs and hitches in breath. She longs to hear Coran's voice, but-]

I know. [She says so quietly to hide the hints of frustration and anger as much as possible. It isn't aimed at him. It never will be again.] I just...

[The sting is too fresh again. Her people still suffer from Lotor's actions somewhere. They aren't free nor even aware that his perceived role as their savior is a farce. And here, they were all toyed with. Again.

She lifts up her head a little at first. It's enough to show some of the tears the fur didn't catch. Allura looks to him for a moment and nips at the inside of her lower lip, and her eyes say it all: she feels like she's missing something, too. It's a fight with herself to hide it again that she barely wins before turning to him fully and hugging him.]

I'm sorry, Keith.

[He turns so he can wrap his arms around her and let her hideaway against his chest. They were toyed with and he doesn't like it. Allura's tears spark anger in him. It isn't the Roaka's fault.

But he feels frustrated at his lack of ability to comfort her. The shadow of his older self reminds him in fragmented memories sometimes all someone needs is a shoulder. Or a chest to cry on.] I'm sorry too.

...it's not the Roaka's fault but. [But he's still angry and he knows she is too.]

Edited 2019-05-30 01:41 (UTC)

[She accepts the gesture and rests her forehead on his shoulder as she buried her face there. She hates it when others see her like this. She's supposed to be a ruler, capable of forming a calm mask despite what might be brewing beneath the surface. She's found lately both here and back in their reality that isn't the case. She hates it, and she hates being toyed with even more, but what choice did they have in this particular case? It feels like it had all been taken away, and yet... how could that be if it never existed in the first place? And perhaps, that is what stings the most. And knowing what that meant for Keith and Shiro...]

I know. [It's such a quiet thing, but the angry undertone is there.] Believe me, I...

[She gently fists the cloth of Keith's shirt with both hands.] -had words for them when I emerged as I was when I was a child.

[Enjoy the mental image, Keith. Allura going on one of her lectures with the appearance of a six-year-old. Even she'll admit it hilarious in hindsight. When she isn't angry for all of them. Quietly, she adds:] ...I want to be as okay as I thought I was in regards to showing you all how I feel, and yet... even saying that feels like a lie.

[Especially since she'd started to have feelings for someone, but has never said anything after realizing how much another of their friends meant to them.]

[Anger boils inside him. How many ways will they be toyed with before its enough? He presses his face into the top of her head and listens. There's nothing he can do to help.

Just be there, his older self's memories whisper to him again. It's enough to be there.

Well, he's not going anywhere.] Think of it as a goal. You know how you want to be, build the plan and the path to get there. It doesn't have to be what we saw. It can be better than that.

[There is something he can do. He'll do it. It won't take much and finding a stone for it that works could be...fine.] We'll be better than those people we seemed to be.

[It's a mystery, and one she really rather hopes is answered quickly. Especially in regards to tugging at certain desires she knows won't come to fruition. Not for a long while, and not all of it here.

What worries her the most is that she doesn't remember the role Lance has in that future. It's all hazy at best, and she hopes that means at least in that potential reality that he's happy with Mira. Doesn't help to calm her concerns, however. Even as she wonders if he recalls him mistaking her for a fairy queen.

But a goal, huh. She could work with that. Plans kept her relatively sane after she awoke in a future foreign to her. They'll do so again. Slowly her grip loosens, and she begins to calm. The anger and general upset don't abate entirely, lowering instead to a manageable calm. Quite a lot needs to be sorted out in order to make a plan of any kind. She nods the once.]

We will. [It's a promise as much to him as it is to herself.] Have you spoken with Shiro yet?

[Because of all of them who'd been messed with the most... The concern for them outweighs her own worries about what those memories whisper to her of.]

[Keith runs his hand up and down her back in a calming manner. He waits until her grip loosens before he picks up the Phoenix feather with leather cord and beads. He weaves it into her hair until the bright feather and beads hang down just above her ear.

He takes another feather and beads from his pocket. He weaves it into the other side. It soothes the fury just a bit. Phoenix feathers and Allura go together well. He pauses to answer.] He’s alright. We haven’t talked about what happened yet.

[He adjusts the weave a little one side.] We will. We’ll work it out. We’ll all work things out.

[He nods once then makes a satisfied noise and draws his Marmora blade.] Take a look.

[Closed] Pride of Lions

Keith

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Allura

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