lifeaftr | Store post!

Entry tags:

Store post!

Who: Taako (feat. Lup)
What: the Adventure Store, Now with added Temple Cleanup
When: i consulted an oracle that said 'February'
Where: the temple
Warnings: you break it you buy it

Once again, it is store time. Which it technically is a lot of the time, actually, but shh. This time is notable for some signage, the largest of which reads 'Wizard Hut' in flowing script (they'll add a 'Jr' if Ren takes a shift) as well as a smaller, less...kempt notice, seemingly an afterthought:

1 Free fursona (somepurchasenecessarywhilesupplieslast)

2 Ball til you fall

3 Refunds are illegal

4 ~~Coming Soon~~ Pizza heaven when?

As always there is some already-made stock available for barter, but a third, smaller, and somehow even less informative sign reads 'Ask us about our other shit.' For those in the know, our other shit is custom transmuted goods (where possible). For those not in the know, guess you gotta ask.

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It was the fireworks, really, that had reminded Lup-- of the beauty in every plane, if you stopped to look, and that everybody was out here just doing their best. That all you can do is your best, and to take care of each other, despite what some miserable fucking dipshit specters would have you believe.

And as far as she is concerned, that includes the Storyteller. She'd worked tirelessly and more than a little guiltily to fix the most obvious damage the lich had done to the temple, but why stop there? The rabbit's been doing their best to make this island safer and more livable since people started popping up, and it's time to pay some of that back.

So while Taako and associates are running The Store^TM, Lup spends much of her time carting wheelbarrows full of rubble and weeds out of the temple - free wheelbarrow rides available to kids who ask nicely - Fabricate cracks in the altar and stonework shut, knock down unstable bits of ceiling with a spectral hand... Boy it sure would be sweet to have like, a carpenter? stonemason? building type person?? helping with this. Or, you know, anyone at all!

You here to buy something? Too bad! Lup's gonna put a broom in your hands whether you like it or not. And if you look like you know how to make windows, it's over for you fool.

The Knight might not be tall enough to operate wheelbarrows (at least not for more than 24 hours at a time), but they're great at pulling weeds, so when they see Lup cleaning up the temple? Naturally, they're going to help. It's the least they can do, since they're sworn to the Storyteller.

The first sign Lup will probably get of their presence is when they totter up to her wheelbarrow-having self, arms full of freshly pulled weeds. It's a little hard for them to see over the top of the pile, but you know what. They're trying.

They sort of jostle them a bit and peer around it, clearly attempting to work out the best way to get these wayward plants into the wheelbarrow without spilling them everywhere.

Lup's already been doing this for a while now and wasn't really expecting anyone to join in, so this cute little bug masquerading as a pile o' weeds is a surprise. When she spots them wiggling meaningfully at the wheelbarrow, she gasps in delight and hops down from a dilapidated half crumbled wall.

"Look at you busy lil bee! Got your hands full, huh? Here, we got this." And she's just gonna lift 'em up gently, weeds and all, until they're level with the compost pile. Knock yourself out!

They were expecting her to just take the weeds off their hands or something, but this is much better! They wiggle a little bit at being picked up, briefly surprised but entirely trusting that it isn't a prelude to something bad happening, and offload their armful into the pile.

Then they look up at her, tilting their head in a clear indication of thought.

Eventually they scratch something down.

need help ?

Does she need any help right now? Should they just go and do their own thing?

Teamwork completed successfully, she sets them back down, staying at their level for a minute to read their question.

"Sure I do," she quips and holds up her palm towards them. "Help with this dope high five waiting to happen!" Knowing this garbage island, nobody's even taught this child high fives yet and Lup just can't let that stand.

There's some more words they're not quite sure what to do with. But she clearly wants them to do something, so after a moment of blanker-than-usual staring they reach up and...very gently place their palm against Lup's, like they're not sure what to do with it otherwise but want to be very careful in assuming anything.

Then they look back at her for feedback. Are they doing this right?

Asgore, when he happens along, pauses to read all of the signs. In their entirety. Because he's painfully earnest like that.

When he's finished, he goes to peruse the containers, specifically any that have tight lids. Selecting three smallish ones, he brings them over to the shopkeeper. "Howdy!" he greets Taako with a smile. "How are you today?"

Yeah, he's one of those customers.

None of that is exactly what Taako expects to result from someone reading the signs that carefully, but then, Taako tries to avoid expectation in general. So he puts on what he thinks is a good customer service attitude and shrugs a little.

"We-ll, I'm marooned on this deserted island and still have to do things, but I guess it is what it is, huh?" He eyes both Asgore and his potential purchases, doing the math on both and refusing to show his work. "So, probably a no on the complementary fursona, I'm guessing."

"What is a fursona?"

Why the fuck are we doing this today, Taako? Why?

There are many potential responses to that question, most of which involve some degree of hooting or falling off his seat, but that would all be terrible service. Plus, this guy is just. So sincere. So sincerely some kind of goat. Oh no.

Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to answer without resorting to any kind of straight up derision, so he has to just trailblaze this one. "Well, it's." Oh no. "It's like it's you, but--" Taako is off to a good start. "But uh. You know. An animal? That I would magic you into. Like a demonstration, you know, cut a can in half with this knife, imagine what it does to tomatoes! And the stuff in the store...is the tomatoes. Right?"

Asgore listens with the exact same amount of earnest attention. "I'm afraid you have lost me a little bit with the knife," he admits, brow furrowed, because he was following it all up until knives and tomatoes got brought in. At least, he's reasonably sure he was. "But it is like temporary shapeshifting, to learn what it is like to be an animal?"

How fun and educational!

Is there a transmutation spell that lets a person just sink into the floor? There definitely is and Taako will definitely request that from the ST next. In the meantime, he'll just. Feel a little bad for bewildering this nice, painfully earnest man. Blame the dad-energy Asgore brings to the table. And Taako's native allergy to sincerity.

"Yeah, it's for learning, sure. Mostly learning how good I am at transmuting stuff, so you'll want to buy it. But also learning about who you are as a person. That's an animal."

"Oh!" Asgore perks up. "I have heard of humans having animals they consider their particular guardians. Is it anything like that?" Taako's pretty clearly not a human, but that's such a basic general concept that he can imagine it carrying over between multiple universes and species.

"What a fun idea! But you are right, I do not think I need something like that." It could be interesting in theory, he supposes, but the idea of shapechanging magic is a little unnerving. Also, chances are strong that he'd just turn into a goat. Asgore does not want to literally be a goat. "But do you think you could demonstrate transmutation magic on something else? It sounds very interesting to watch!"

It is, unfortunately, nothing like that, since there is no quality inherent to either the Polymorph spell or the elf casting it that guarantees any kind of aptness. But that's why the store has a no refund policy, so Taako just smiles noncommittally, neither confirming nor denying anything.

Unfortunately, he does have to answer the next question, which is an entirely reasonable and respectful one despite Taako's deer-in-the-headlights look. Which is dumb! This dude doesn't even seem like he'd be mad if Taako refused. He'd just be disappointed, which is somehow worse.

"Well, the thing of it is, the thing with that, specifically, is--" Taako's on involuntary vacay and sucks at magic now? That's not cool. "It's actually not interesting. What if I just cast Levitate on you instead of transmuting something else? It's still Transmutation. Technically."

"Is it?" He must have misunderstood the meaning of Transmutation entirely. "Oh gosh, that is not necessary. But thank you anyway!"

Asgore really only meant to give the man another way to demonstrate his magic, since he seemed so keen on the "fursona" idea. But levitation is a difficult craft, at least among monsterkind, and he doesn't require anything on that level. It only sounded interesting.

Anyway, where were they? Ah yes, bartering. "I intend to use these to store tea leaves," he explains, nodding at the containers he brought up here that started this whole thing. "I would be happy to trade some of my most recent harvest in return, if you enjoy tea. If not, I have several other crops."

I don't think I want to know what the fuck a fursona is, but ball til I fall? Are we dancing our asses off again?

[ Because Molly would be into that, let's be real.

Tail flicking curiously, he's crossing his arms and ~~snooping~~ looking around, because Molly hasn't really been in the temple other than when he has to be for... things. People selling stuff is always great, even if it's a pity that Nott isn't here to steal her little heart out, or Caleb for that matter. ].

I always imagined wizard shops to have a lot more books.

Now, Taako doesn't have time to unpack all of that, but he's not gonna let that stop him.

"You can dance, if you want to. But this is Wizard Hut, not Nerd Hut, so no books." He concludes with an insincere little 'out of my hands' gesture. Maybe this guy should ask for Wizard Hut's manager.

"Tell you what, though. I'll sell you all the ingredients at a discount, and you can write your own book to go in the store. How's that?" Taako grins his brightest, most entrepreneurial grin.

"Guess wizards are different in your world, because being a huge book nerd is apparently the way to go in mine." Shrug emoji. Molly has no idea how magic works, he's just going off Caleb's gigantic book boner.

The offer to make his own book has the tiefling giggling, shaking his head vehemently. Him, write something? That would be the day. Just horrible chicken scratch and spelling errors everywhere. "I will spare you that horror, my friend. I am, however, looking for something that saves my hair from the communal 'soap'."

Please let him buy some coconut oil soap and save those lovely purple curls. He's suffering, it's a tragedy. Just ask his roommates, they get to hear him complain.

See, here's the thing. Kravitz swore, at the point at which he started living at Elf Camp, that he would work the store. At the time, he didn't know what 'the store' was, what it was supposed to be doing, or what working at it even entailed. He still doesn't think he knows. When he tried to ask what the price for everything was he got laughed at, so he dropped the subject to spare further embarrassment.

So here he is. Behind a counter. Mr. Death Cop Cabbages, playing cashier at Fantasy Walmart.

Kravitz seems pretty bored, flicking at the bits of wood on the ground, but if someone approaches he'll do his best to straighten his back and look like he's being attentive. "Uhm... hello. Do you need anything?"

Legion will, at some point, come around to check out what's being offered.

When they see their ally, they immediately approach.

"Uncertain. Do you accept data, physical labor, or materials for trade?"

Oh thank goodness, it's someone who already likes him and probably won't laugh for not knowing how to run a store. He takes a quick glance at the sign the elves put up, and then decides to wing it. "Uhm, barter is best. We have a variety of goods, and uh, if you need something made we can possibly accommodate for a custom price."

He sort of skitters around for something to write on, turns up empty, and just crosses his arms. "Are you looking for anything in particular?"

He is correct that they probably will not laugh at them: Legion is unable to laugh.

"Acknowledged. Materials most desired for bartering?"

They're interested in a lot of things here. Narrowing it down will depend on specific costs of items.

"Additionally, we are curious: how is ice acquired?"

If there is a method other than magic, they wish to know.

Well, that's good, but their questions still land him into having absolutely no goddamn idea what the answers are. But Kravitz is not a quitter, so here he is trying out here.

"Uhm, I don't think we have a must-have list right now. Anything uncommon would be more valuable, as well as anything used for building or something we can use magically. Which uhm-- ice is a magical creation around here, so. That's how."

He's like 20% of a convincing salesman. Just only that 20%.

"Acknowledged. We currently have in our possession that we are willing to trade: pillows, blankets, spare parts for both Geth and Umui robots, a bar of soap. We are capable of acquiring additional materials, or providing physical labor."

The answer about the ice is disappointing, but not terribly so. For now, they will focus on other materials.

"What is the approximate tensile strength of the rope?"

He listens intently, void of anything to write with so just trying to keep that to memory. Some of it they have, some they don't, but he has no idea what's objectively a fair trade and what's going to get him yelled at. At least Ren is liable to defend him.

"Uhm, good to know, and-- to my knowledge, it's simply rope. We have the ability to magically create the uhm, the structure for it, leading to why we have the resource often. But it isn't otherwise different than regular rope." That is to say he has no idea, but it is new since it's made here. "As for those items, uhm, it would depend on what you're interested in I believe. Or what you would be willing to do in terms of labor."

They chatter a bit.

"Our carrying capacity is greater than that of most organics. Additionally, we do not tire. We also do work on the farming islet, and would be willing to set aside a small portion of gathered resources for trade."

Their headflaps ripple.

"We are interested in the following: rope, containers and/or baskets, and writing material."

He nods as Legion speaks, committing that to memory. Alright, they can do that. Some of it they have right now, some he'll have to let the twins know to make, but he thinks he can make a good deal here.

"That-- I think we can do all of that. I'll put in your order uhm, right now, make sure we have the supplies or we may request you acquire some if necessary." He can do this, see, he has expertise. "Otherwise I believe supplies from the farming islet should be sufficient. Is that all right?"

"Affirmative."

That is an acceptable trade.

"Do you have a preference in type of supplies?"

There's not a whole lot of choice from the farming island itself, but Legion will try to accommodate what they can.

"I'm sure Taako and Lup will, since they tend to need specific components for supplies. I'll go ahead and get back to you about the exact price for this, and you can have the chance to formally accept then."

He looks kind of proud of himself for negotiating something good, and frankly, this is probably the most formal transaction that's ever gone on in the history of Wizard Hut, so he will still probably be laughed at. "We'll reach out on the stones as soon as we have a formal invoice drafted up."

"Affirmative."

Legion is a formal sort, and unused to barter, so Kravitz's approach works fine for them.

Their ally is busy. Their transaction is done. Perhaps they should depart.

For a moment though, they linger.

"Absolutely." He has no real recourse to ask Legion to leave-- it's not like there are other customers-- but he also has no idea how to end this if Legion doesn't leave. So he just keeps smiling at him, hands folded on the table. Staring.

He finally speaks after about a minute. "Do you... need anything else??"

"We do not."

And well, with that, they'll leave.

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Store post!

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Listen, you know why.

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ota, i'll match format!

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