lifeaftr | January Event: Rejection Rooms

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January Event: Rejection Rooms

JANUARY EVENT: REJECTION ROOMS

Who: Anyone and everyone!
What: Rejecting your Light comes with dire consequences
When: January 25th - 28th
Where: All over Monsun
Warnings: Violence and possible character death; please note any specific content warnings if they come up!

You're Ruled by the Things You Feel

This log is primarily for the Rejection Room portion of the event, for ease and convenience. To quote our event post:

Characters intent on rejecting their Light will find themselves irrevocably drawn to Monsun's shores. They might not even be aware of it - driven by their rage, their paranoia, their fear, or all of the above, and more. Monsun, for its part, is happy to receive them. Its landscape has become so warped over time...and those parts of Monsun consumed by shadow will start to distort, molding into structures that such characters are only too happy to hide within: Rejection Rooms.

Those who challenge the Rejection Rooms need not worry about death for themselves - damage taken within the rooms will simply translate to exhaustion outside of it, with seemingly mortal wounds leading to expulsion from the room itself, and an inability to re-enter.

The same holds true for the boss of each Room. Failure to beat them into expulsion means that the Room will continue to feed from their wildly catastrophizing mind, until there's nothing left to save at all.

So, simply top-level below with your character if they've signed up for a Rejection Room and prepare for whoever wants to gamble a confrontation. We recommend linking to the comment that details your character's Room, for the benefit of others. Remember to communicate; if your character is still trapped in their Room by the event's end, they will suffer a character death, though characters who merely try and fail to free them will not.

If your Rejection Room opt-in comment did not receive any response or additional discussion from the mod team, consider your Room and moveset approved; we want to allow for retroactive edits to your comments and plans, if those become necessary!

Some useful links, for reference:

[ ♆ ] OOC Event Post
[ ♆ ] Rejection Room Sign-Ups, for information on what Rejection Rooms look like
[ ♆ ] Deaths Page; death penalties have been reduced for the duration of this event, but remember to let us know if your character is still stuck in their Room by the event's end!

Event Timeline

[ ♆ ] January 20th: The monthly Storytelling occurs.
[ ♆ ] January 21st: Shadows of both initial variants appear.
[ ♆ ] January 23rd: Shadows of both initial variants disappear.
[ ♆ ] January 25th Lights and Rejection Rooms appear.
[ ♆ ] January 28th: Lights and Rejection Rooms dissipate. Those still trapped in their Rejection Rooms by the event's end will suffer a character death.

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh no, I've not forgotten. Of all those who have experienced what you were, I am the one least able to forget. I'm the one who lives within a fraction of the darkness you claim makes up your entire being and I will live within that darkness for the rest of my days. Any glimpse of light this place gives me is merely a small flame that serves to remind me of why I did what I did and gave what I gave.

[Blade no longer at his throat, Ignis steps closer to Ardyn, confidence in his tone and every line of his body.]

I remember what you were for more reason than that. I remember because it's what allows me to see what you do not dare to let yourself see. I know the changes. Each tiny step. Each moment of bravery and confession. I will not betray those things I see anymore than I will betray you.

[Ignis takes another step forward, certain he is close enough now that he could steal a kiss if he wanted to.]

So kill me if you must. I will return and I will continue to burn no matter how many times you try to send me away. I live within the darkness and still I hold onto the light. It is here I've found balance and it's from this place I make my promise once more.

Et non supplantabuntur gressus.

What you fear will not come to pass.

You dare speak down to me--you dare claim to know me?! You know nothing but a shade and a memory, long lost and better left buried on the forsaken isle upon which he withered and died. He's dead. There is no light left within me now, you're wrong. You're wrong, you're wrong--!

[Ardyn's composure finally slipped and cracked like a glass knocked clear off a table, his entire body burning with shining red energy and blades beginning to spin haphazardly. When they did fire an instant later they did so with no direction, in wild arcs and aimless destruction as if Ardyn was lashing out at the throne room more than Ignis. His brother's greatsword crashed into the throne, axe and mace and star all breaking whatever they collided with.]

[Weapons fly off in wild directions and Ignis doesn't flinch. The wind of close calls shifts his hair against his forehead; sparks of pain bloom in his leg and shoulder--wounds caused by debris not weapons--and he still stands his ground.]

Am I?

[He wants to be gentle; he wants to take Ardyn into his arms and hold him until the pain is gone, but right now Ignis knows he can't. He has to be firm. For Ardyn. For his Darkness. For his Light.

For what they can be.]

If that light was gone, if he were dead and all that remained was darkness and daemons, would you fear? Would you feel pain? Would you hesitate and lash out in anything but rage and hate? Daemons cannot fear. Daemons do not feel pain. But you. You do.

You think I fear you? You, so powerless that you'll not even strike back?

[The weaponry vanished, Armiger and glowing aura vanishing in a flash of crystal.]

Without my brother and his line to beg for help, you're nothing.

[As serious as the situation is, Ignis can't help but laugh at that.]

Of course you don't fear me. Even with their power I am nothing but a stubborn little flame. What you fear is the brighter light that I am a reflection of. I am the reminder that won't go out; he is the light won't fade no matter how much darkness gathers.

Is that right.

[The growl in his throat was unmistakable, as was the fact that his skin had gone even colder under Ignis' hand. The darkness and malice in the stagnant air started to gather closer, as if drawn to Ardyn automatically.]

Perhaps we should test that.

[For a moment, Ignis is reminded of all those months ago when he found Ardyn fresh off Monsun's bad side. Growling. Cold. Stripped of all the human trappings he used to make himself seem 'normal.' He hadn't run then, and eventually he's drawn the man back out of the monster.

He's not running now either.

Despite the cold under his fingers, cold that feels almost as if it will suck all the warmth from his own body, Ignis only tightens his hold.]

Draw all the darkness you wish and we'll see who's right.

[Destroy. Destroy. Destroy everything. His Shadow had been right--existence was an almost comically ephemeral thing, so why even entertain it? And why bother with a magnifying glass when one could just drown the entire anthill? There was nothing here worth caring about. Empty words, empty promises, and frustration after annoyance after inconvenience.]

[The blast radiated outwards and upwards a moment later, a concussive burst of something tangibly malicious--a feeling of rage, of hatred, and the inexhaustible curses of a world hat had once struggled to survive in the darkness.

[It hurts. The pressure, the force of so much negative emotion crushing the air from his lungs before forcing itself in, clawing, trying to reach his heart and stop it cold. The sound that eventually forces itself free of his throat is something choked, winded, trembling.]

Ar...dyn.

[He's half bent over in a desperate attempt to keep his feet, and yet somehow, he's still got his grip on the redhead's wrist. Honestly, Ignis has no idea why he does what he does next. His arm already screams as if every bone was separated by the blast, but when he feels his knees give, he jerks as hard as he can on Ardyn's wrist, determined to drag him down to the floor with him.

And if he's successful? He will finally let go of the redhead's wrist so he can draw him into a hug, words a broken, shaking whisper.]

I'm...still here.

[He'd have needed a moment to recover from an attack on that scale, but a moment was nothing. Surely it wouldn't matter; this fight was over before it began. Now it would all be settled, and he'd never have to worry about anyone pestering him ever agai-]

[...Or so he'd thought, at least, but the next thing he knew Ardyn was yanked harshly to the ground and met with a hug instead of the knife he'd halfway expected.]

What are you...?

[It didn't make sense. What did he have to gain, why should anyone care for what was nothing but a monster after all he'd done and had yet to do for some of them? Why was he wasting his time?!]

...fight back. Why won't you just kill me and let it be done with--?!

I am...fighting back.

[His hands curl into the back of Ardyn's jacket. Not that he can really feel them. He just feels cold, so cold that he wonders if he could see his breath if he could see.]

Death is not the ending we're looking for.

[Without willing it, Ignis' head tilts forward, coming to rest against Ardyn's shoulder.]

Let me teach you to live again; let me be at your side forever; let me be your reminder.

I don't want to. Don't--you promised to help me find rest, don't say now that was a lie or I'll kill you.

[A small, tired smile pulls at the corner of Ignis' mouth even as a violent shiver runs through him.]

I'm not the one lying. If that is what you truly want, then I will find it for you, but that's not truly what you want anymore. Don't lie. You don't have to. We're the only ones here. No one else will ever know.

Be silent. Just...stop talking and kill me. I don't want to do this, I don't want to hurt you, so end it instead of this sentimental nonsense.

No.

[Despite how much he hurts, Ignis manages to make the word come out in a way that makes it clear he won't change his mind.]

I won't. I love you and I want your pain to stop. It won't stop if I kill you. It will only grow worse because it will be the proof you need that I was lying the whole time.

[He finally finds the strength to raise his head.]

I love you. If you can't accept him now so that you can understand what that means again, then I will wait and keep waiting as long as I need to. Someday you will find balance again. I believe in you.

You don't love me. There isn't a single thing worth loving. You--I...I don't--

[What the hell was he doing? This whole thing was useless, so Ardyn should have just brought it to an end. But...he just couldn't. All this and he couldn't even bring himself to kill one person? Worse yet, he was accomplishing nothing but hurting the only person he didn't hate, so what was the point of all this?]

[He hugged Ignis tightly, hiding his face against the advisor's shoulder.]

Why?! Why won't you just forget this worthless endeavor and leave me alone?

Edited 2019-01-30 13:27 (UTC)

I know you don't remember so it's impossible to understand, but that's not how love works. There was a reason I just...didn't bother for so long. It hurts and it's messy and it doesn't make any bloody sense most of the time, but that doesn't invalidate the joy and comfort it brings.

[He lets his cold, pained body collapse against Ardyn again, holding him as tightly as he can.]

Now that I've let it in, I'm not ever letting go again no matter how often you ask or how much logic you throw at me. It's not worthless and it never will be.

Don't lie to me. You love what you believe I am, nothing more. Not you or anyone else will ever care for what I've become.

Edited 2019-01-31 00:47 (UTC)

[Ignis is silent for several moments before sighing and then shifting against Ardyn's shoulder so he can turn his blind gaze in the redhead's direction.]

I will admit that back at the beginning that may have been true. I didn't understand what I was doing then. I didn't understand you.

[This is obviously difficult for him to say, and as a result is voice is soft and hesitant at times.]

Honestly, I'm still not sure I know what I'm doing, but I like to think I understand you a little better now. It wasn't some idealized version of you who I hurt at the beach party and who helped me understand after that I couldn't let my optimistic hopes blind me. It wasn't some the Healer-King of old who sat on the floor with me and shared his deepest fears as flowers and thorns threatened to tear themselves from our bodies, and it was certainly no mere human who held me so tight in his exhaustion that we had to pile him under chocobos in order to win my freedom.

[He raises a shaking hand so he can gently run his fingers across Ardyn's cheek.]

Once it may have only been the daemons that remained, but that is no longer the case. You have become more than what I first loved, more than you believe yourself to be.

I can't...do this, Ignis, I can't be whatever it is your influence has been turning me into. I don't know how to be anything else, and it's driving me mad because I don't know what I am with you. I--I-

[Ardyn shook his head, whatever else he was going to say cut off by a choked and muffled sound, black miasma briefly staining Ignis' shirt before evaporating.]

...I'm not worth this. I can't take it anymore. Please--please, just end it.

You can.

[It's hard to keep the words steady and confident when he hears the choked and muffled sound that Ardyn makes. He cannot see the miasma, but he can imagine it there and it breaks his heart.

Why must this pain Ardyn is feeling be the very thing that proves he can be more?]

Listen to me. You are worth it and you don't have to do this alone. I'm here and I'm not leaving no matter how many times you ask. You survived two thousand years of hate and rage. You can survive this too.

You...you have no idea how near insurmountable such a task truly is. I just want everything to stop, I want to stop having to live this way. Don't you comprehend that I have no other option, I-I...

[He shook is head against Ignis' shoulder, words unsteady and shoulders trembling.]

...please. I can't bear it anymore. Not alone.

[Ignis shifts his arms so that he can wrap them around Ardyn's head where it's come to rest against his shoulder. He then settles his cheek into the redhead's hair.]

You're not alone. You've not been alone for a long time. It's no two thousand years, this time we've been together, but there can be more if you will just give it a chance. The unknown and the confusion can stop if you can find just enough strength to reach out. I'm right here. You don't have to reach far. This task is not so insurmountable as you feel it is. I promise.

...you won't stay. I'm not-...I'm not your king, I'm not the Chosen. I'm nothing and no one of consequence, just as I've ever been. Why should you stay with something like me, is it just because you take pity on something so wretched and broken?

Edited 2019-02-02 02:46 (UTC)

No. You don't need to be either of those things to be of worth to me, to be loved by me.

[He runs his fingers gently through Ardyn's wild, red hair, voice a loving whisper.]

Or, if you must be one, then know you are Chosen. By me. Because I can see your value when the Astrals could not.

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