January Event: Fade to Black

[lifeaftr_mods]

JANUARY EVENT: FADE TO BLACK

Who: Anyone and everyone!
What: Your true self comes to roost
When: January 21st - 23rd; January 25th - 28th
Where: All over!
Warnings: Dark subjects such as violence and self-destruction are likely to come to the forefront - please mark your content accordingly!

Down in that Darkness

This log is primarily for the Shadow and Light portions of the event, for ease and convenience. Your Shadow can be either the Persona-inspired sort - a "brutal, bitterly honest recreation of a character's worst flaws, darkest fears, and deepest secrets" - or the edgier, more laughable variant. The Lights, on the other hand, will do their utmost to convince their real selves of their best qualities, no matter how little they want to hear them.

Remember that the Shadows will be present from January 21st to January 23rd, and the Lights will be present from January 25th to January 28th.

On January 25th, we will post a separate log for Rejection Rooms!

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Some useful links, for reference:

[ ♆ ] OOC Event Post
[ ♆ ] Rejection Room Sign-Ups; remember to note your interest in these as soon as possible!
[ ♆ ] Deaths Page; death penalties have been reduced for the duration of this event, but still do let us know if your character dies regardless!

Event Timeline

[ ♆ ] January 20th: The monthly Storytelling occurs.
[ ♆ ] January 21st: Shadows of both initial variants appear.
[ ♆ ] January 23rd: Shadows of both initial variants disappear.
[ ♆ ] January 25th Lights and Rejection Rooms appear.
[ ♆ ] January 28th: Lights and Rejection Rooms dissipate. Those still trapped in their Rejection Rooms by the event's end will suffer a character death.

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

Comments

[hyperlit]

[The Light nods, slowly. Attachments are not something that suits an occupation that is unmoored by nature, suited to wandering without direction. Perhaps it was the seeming unpredictability of it that arrested the Drifter so, and shook their world to its core. They were not used to being picked up off the ground. It had little to do with who or what they were, and everything to do with the nature of the person who could look at a blue-skinned creature and decide that it was worth saving, despite all that the tint of its face brought with it.]

"Your loss," [says the Light, as gently as it can make the words,] "was one of the hardest things they thought they would ever have to live through. It is one thing to be prepared to be disparaged, discarded, and cast aside. This, they were used to. This, they could shoulder.

"It is another thing entirely for someone to pick them off the ground. And yet another thing, to lose the one person who had ever seen them as something worth saving."

[Gods were not ephemeral creatures, the way the rest of the population was. Gods could look at the soul of the matter and decide who might serve their purposes. But in the case of the Guardian - what could that sort of instinct be, but a blind leap of faith?]

[smallkindness]

[The Guardian knew their death was set in stone. Be it the dangers of their occupation or simply their sickness catching up to them, it was only a matter of time. Their death was inevitable so their life was something they used for the futures of others. For one more day, even if the Guardian would never see it.

They wouldn't be surprised to learn that what they did were simple footnotes in someone else's life. But for someone like the Drifter, who was used to people walking by while they suffered in the mud, it was unexpected. Someone who knew what they were - the Guardian was not blind - yet offered a hand to help regardless.

A single act of kindness that changed someone's life.

("...thank you. For loving someone like me.", they had said during the Trial, to the memory of their dying family.)

And the death that took it away.]

Kindness and sorrow. I gave them both.

[Both their own words and the Shadow's, a double-edged sword. A simple leap of faith brought change, because the Guardian simply saw someone who was hurt and needed help. They still saw a blue-skinned creature, knew what they were, and did not walk away.

Not then and not now.]

My appearance here...hurts, doesn't it?

[It is something they could easily come to the conclusion on. The Drifter's reaction when they appeared here, when it was no longer a one-off dream. And now, what the Shadow has said more or less confirmed it.

If the Guardian's death hurt them so, having them back was likely also painful.]

[hyperlit]

"It hurts, and it is welcome. It is both."

[An honest answer, though perhaps not entirely satisfying one.]

"It is not your fault. It is nothing you can control. Your actions shaped them into being someone who was willing to save an entire world at their own expense, even if that world regarded them as something lesser, and undeserving. They have no words to thank you for that."

[They have no words at all, most times. A drifter is a warrior, and a warrior should not express vulnerability, should they? What is sometimes a lack of comprehension can just as often be a full understanding of its nature, and a straightforward choice to disregard it utterly, despite that.]

"They feel obligated to...repay you for how critically you have changed them, for the better."

[smallkindness]

[The Light is right. It is not a satisfying answer but they do appreciate its honesty.

What resulted from their single act was indeed something the Guardian could not control. They were no God, never to touch unknowable concepts such as omnipotence. They died unknowing of the change that occurred within the Drifter. To save a world that hated them, considered them not worth something as basic as a little kindness.

Sorrow and hope. "It hurts, and it is welcome. It is both."]

Even at their own expense?

[They have to ask. After the back-and-forward over their last healing item, offering it to the Guardian despite being far more injured, it clued them into the idea.

The Guardian did not mind if they wished to pay it back. The Drifter would not be the first person who offered them something in exchange for their help.

But it would be the first time it would be at someone's expense, especially like this.]

[hyperlit]

"Their conception of their life, and the inherent value it has...is skewed. They do not regard it as having inherent value in what it is. Only in what it has the potential to do."

[There is an innate hypocrisy there, of course. A lack of balance. The world put less value on the Drifer's life, and thus, they did the same. And over time, that inherent bias came to be integrated into how they saw themself.]

"They do not see it as happening at their own expense. They see their life as an expendable one. They are dying, and largely unwanted for what they are. Their life can be easily given for a cause greater than themself, in their eyes."

[smallkindness]

[It is disheartening to think of, but the Guardian can see how the Drifter would come to that conclusion. To be told over and over that they were worthless, that their life meant little due to a single thing they could no more control then the sickness that affected all. Hearing that enough times...eventually it became "truth". That the worth of the Drifter's life was less then nothing and so it was fine to give it up for greater cause.]

Not easy to change.

[The Drifter's Shadow would not be the way it was, they think, if it was so easy to change. What is integrated into the soul will always stick in some manner no matter how much time passes. The Guardian's family despite the Trial, the Drifter's worth regardless of those they have met here.

Hope endures but so does sorrow.]

I met a little girl...when I first came here. She spoke fondly of them.

[hyperlit]

[The Light nods in solemn agreement. Growing past a lifetime of careful conditioning, both internal and external, would take longer than a year's worth of trials and tribulations. But the Drifter already has more friends here than they ever have had before in their life. Already, they have formed attachments, even if they've no idea how to admit to them.]

"Ren, was it?"

[The Light would presume as such. Ren knew them from the very first day they set foot here, and from then...they had come to learn to adapt, to change, to suit what one small, frightened child might need.]

[She does not know, perhaps, and the Drifter certainly does not, what kind of impact one small person could have on a wanderer such as they.]

[smallkindness]

Yes. She called them a friend. Sometimes family.

[It had been a surprise to hear but at the same time it was also good. That they had met someone who could look at them in that way, even if Ren was one of those that the Shadow said that did not have context for why the Drifter is the way they are.

But a lack of context is a good thing too. She did not know what their blue skin meant or what a drifter was. Ren saw the Drifter as they were, through the eyes of a child. These people may be enough to slowly chip away at that wall until it falls.

Not today. But maybe one day.]

She is a good person. Everyone here they have met are.

[hyperlit]

"They are."

[Ren...well, she is among those that have known them longest, and the length of time does not necessarily seem so important, when it comes to these things. The Knight had been the same - referring to them as family, when the Drifter finally was at least willing to put forth the vague idea that this was...that they could consider someone to be a friend. At least, symbolically.]

[This did not pay out in a matter they anticipated.]

"They learned a great deal from you. To pay forward in kindness, and expect nothing in return."

[smallkindness]

[It is far different then Buried Time. While the Guardian had not suffered the disgust and disregard that the Drifter did, they cannot say they had any close friends. They kept a certain distance between themself and others, keeping things professional although not coldly so.

But the lands of Enso were another story. Perhaps it was due to the nature of the lands forcing others to be close but there were enough friendly people that made it hard to stay that way. For better or for worse.]

I didn't expect it. [They couldn't - the domino effect is impossible to predict.] But if it helped them, then I'm glad.

[That something good could come out of a simple act, even if it lead to a new kind of pain, was heartening to hear.]

[hyperlit]

"I think that few do. But you were an anomaly, and they could not accept it at face value."

[And so they chose to accept a mindset they could not understand, take it into themself and carry it with them to prevent the inexorable progression of guilt. The guilt progressed regardless, of course.]

[There is no escaping that, exactly.]

"It is why they attempt to quantify it in the form of debt, and paying back what one owes. It is the closest tool they have to compare."