lifeaftr | oh i wish you'd open up for me

[At the very least, when Guzma realizes Lillie's been sleeping on the floor, he has laid out one of the thick beach rugs he received from the Jormun when they partied on the beach - among with some soft, fluffy pillows and one of the numerous tigershark skin blankets the Drifter made from him and Luna. At the very least she'll be comfortable, and not sleeping on the cold, hardwood floor.

Guzma's actually on the way out just as Lillie comes in, hands shaking with the restrained urge to itch and tear away at newly formed buds and sprouts on his arms and neck. His jaw is set, teeth clenched together behind tightly pursed lips. He's been coughing a lot lately, the sickness is setting in pretty bad already... He looks up when the girl enters, plucking a few of the flowers free from his hair as they'v begun to curl around the frame of his sunglasses, like some sort of perverted flower crown. He didn't expect her back, and sort of hoped not to encounter anyone until well after nightfall, when he could sneak back here to sleep.

At the least, a plate of food's been left for her on her "bed".]

[She wraps it up a little sooner than usual that day. Traffic through the temple has been remarkably slow. She figures people are making arrangements. Talking to those closest to them. It's okay, though! She's there if they need her, but she's not a necessity. Never has been.]

[And she was coughing a lot. And her left arm was getting almost too numb to hold Nebby, with its open sores sprouting small white flowers far too delicate for their gory backgrounds. So she came back because she didn't think she could listen to anyone properly right now.]

[Lillie's cheeks are flushed with fever and a little bit of surprise embarrassment when she sees Guzma and smells the food. It never ceases to amaze her how kind and generous he is to her and Luna. The food, the bedding, the whole house was pretty much his and his alone, but he chose to share it with them and worked hard to keep them comfortable and safe.]

Oh...thank you so much, Guzma. I'm sorry if I surprised you. It was quiet today.

[Ah, things unsaid. One of the many things that exacerbate the symptoms of Overgrowth. Lillie feels a cough building in her chest and tries to fight it back, but that only makes it worse. She sets Nebby down so it can inspect the plate and pick at the food while she covers her mouth with her arm and hacks up a lung. Lillie's not sure if Nebby understands that she may be gone soon.]

[The flowers sprouting on Lillie's skin aren't hard to miss, though the color and lacy texture of them definitely does try its best to blend into her whole aesthetic. It's a little funny, that the orange-gold flowers on his body are such a contrast to his overall monochromatic scheme...which make them stands out far more than Lillie's. He only wonders, now, if Luna's going to stay unaffected by all this. Considering both he and Lillie have caught the disease--

He gets caught up in his thoughts, unsaid, and feels a choking tightness in his chest, taking in a deep breath to still the ache in his lungs. Lillie's already hacking, and he doesn't want to concern her with his own hoarse coughs. He's already begun to cough out bits of the damn flowers, as well as a mix of blood and...well, when he gets really going, he'll throw up. Gag reflex is a bitch sometimes. But he's not going to choke right he and now. No, he wheezes slightly and forces the ache to dull shifting rigidly to their stores. They have jugs of water, which should still be good.]

Here. [His voice is like a croak, and even Guzma can't fight the tiny cough that escapes his lips.] M'heading out a while...y'all get some shut eye, yeah? Don't go moving no where else until tomorrow.

Thank you...

[The water is a godsend for her sore throat, but she can almost imagine it catching and pushing past the petals in her throat as it goes down. There's nothing quite like the sensation. The worst part of it all is that, before this whole mess, she would have found the sweet Baby's Breath blooms to be beautiful. Now they filled her with dread.]

[Nebby bumps against her leg softly, food forgotten as it senses the severity of things. Lillie crouches down to pat it's head reassuringly before looking up at Guzma. His flowers, Nasturtium if she's identifying them correctly, are so heavy and bright, she can't imagine they're anything but agonizing. It's ironic that if they weren't growing out of his skin, she might have prepared them into a tea to ease their coughing.]

I won't go anywhere. But...

[There's a long moment after she trails off where she keeps her eyes fixed on the floor. She sits down in her pile of pillows and blankets and places the plate of food on her lap where Nebby can reach it. The little cloud seems to have mostly lost interest - more concerned with the growing apprehension and nervous energy radiating off of Lillie. She should just come out and say it. He can ignore it if he wants to. Will probably ignore it if he wants to.]

I know you probably don't want to be around me very much, but you can always talk to me, too. Like the people who come to the temple do. That offer extends to you, even here at home.

[The admission is almost startling, and Guzma turns to actually look at the girl, a flicker of guilt crossing his expression for just a moment. Is that what she thinks? Of course she does...it's not like he hides it well, she looks like one of those things, those Ultra Beasts, and not only that, but--

Like her.

Everything about Lillie right now reminds Guzma of Lusamine and he hates how much he hates it. How it grates at him and unnerves him and makes him want to just get away. He hates this weakness, and how much that psychotic woman has molded this poor girl into a shape fit for her own likes. It's disgusting, and he wants nothing more than to break that pretty porcelain doll that Lusamine has fostered so nicely, but he knows. He knows how he is, and doing such a thing would break more than just the so-called 'mold'. Destruction in human form...there would be nothing left at all. Nothing to even salvage, and that's not the sort of person he wants to be.]

Kid, that's not--

[But he can't get anymore out as the unspoken feelings make the vines inside his lungs coil, and a fresh path of flowers seems to blossom forth, causing Guzma to nearly double over, hand over his mouth as he begins to hack loudly into his palm. pieces of orange-gold petals, mixed with spit and blood, catch on the floor despite his best efforts, and Guzma has to actually lean heavily into the wall to support himself.

Haha...couldn't even give him a goddamn chance to speak, huh? Well, fuck this then. His breathing is ragged once the fit seems to die down, and his throat is raw and pained. He wheezes a bit, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, leaving a wet, crimson smear on the back of his hand.]

Oh, Guzma!

[Lillie sets the plate down on the floor along with Nebby and hurries over to his side. She presses the jug of water into his hands urgently, hoping he'll accept it and at least rinse the taste of flowers and blood out of his mouth before it makes him throw up again.]

[This time, she doesn't swallow the truth. She decides that it's better that they put all this out in the open. They live together now, there's no dancing around it every day. It's little things that give it away. Their first conversation. The way he doesn't look her in the eye most of the time. How minimal their conversations usually are, unless Luna is there to lighten the mood.]

You don't have to explain, or lie to me. I know my mother must have done and said awful things to you for you to be so upset with her. And I know I must remind you of her. That's the way she wanted things to be, I think.

[There's no hesitation. No trailing off. It feels like a weight is being lifted from her chest as she says the words. She doesn't even notice the two or three petals that fall out of her hair unprompted.]

I understand.

[He's tasted his own blood hundreds of times, it's nothing new, but the spicy taste of the flower petals mixed in with it is definitely a bit...different. At the very least the flower itself isn't even more harmful to him than it could be. There are poisonous flowers out in the world, and it's no doubt someone out there on this stupid island may be infected with them, and suffering doubly so.

He takes the water, only to try and wash down some of the soiled petals in a vain attempt to drown them, but he knows it does nothing. Water drips down the corners of his mouth and trickles off his chin, which he wipes with the back of his hand, quiet only up until Lillie begins to...

Help? Is this help? Guzma knows it is, and it's a conversation that he had been hoping to postpone. Now is probably the worst time to discuss that and the force with which he slams the water jug rattles the walls of their flimsy home, his muscles tense from the exertion and the effort not to go into another fit of coughing. Why does it have to be this? Why now? Why did she have to arrive now, in the midst of all this? It just had to be this girl...the one who is a stark reminder of all his past mistakes.

And yet...when he snarls, it's not directed at her, and the words are, strangely, earnest.]

I don't hate you, kid... If that's what you're getting at. You're as much a victim of that demented witch as I am, if'n not way more.

[Lillie yelps, recoils when he slams the jug down. Once again she's said the wrong thing. Opened up and struck down for her efforts. It's exhausting, dancing around Guzma's temper, but it's even more exhausting holding onto this knot of questions and conflicted emotions in her chest. So she gathers up her courage and stands just a little straighter.]

[She's shaking, and the tension hurts her failing body, but it has to be said.]

What did my moth- ...Lusamine, do. I know I came here before the worst of it.

[It must have been worse than what she'd done to Gladion and her, since Guzma knew it happened. Lusamine was too subtle, too insidious. She must have slipped up and done something huge, showed her hand before she could act on it. She knows it must have been something beyond just making hollow promises and lavishing him with praise when he did what she wanted him to do. Must have been beyond playing pretend, treating him like a toy. She must have discarded him, like she did with all of her toys that weren't beautiful anymore.]

[For all her careful pulling of strings, her mother had a terrible habit of pushing just a little too hard, just once, and breaking the illusion. So what, Lillie wanted to know, did she do.]

[Why? Why does she have to gather her courage now, of all times? Why does it have to be directed at him, of all people? Guzma can't - he won't - raise a hand against Lillie, he has enough restraint, but every question she asks him plucks violently at the thing cord of his patience, rupturing cracks in the walls he's put up. He can feel his fury, his bitterness, his hatred trickle out from those cracks and he has to turn away from her, because the memory is a little too much.

He keeps making the same mistake - putting his faith and his trust into people who make him feel wanted. Feel like he's important, worth something, when in reality it's just a ploy. Get what they need, what they want, then toss away the unneeded bits. The trash. The undesirables. A means to an end, that's always been what he was worth, since childhood. Same story, different people.

He grits his teeth, looking back at her from over his shoulder, hissing under his breath in a trembling whisper.]

You really wanna know what she did? How horrible she was? How twisted and sick she was? Cuz I can tell you everything, girly, but I ain't gonna paint a pretty picture.

[This look does not ease her trembling]

[Pretty. A pretty picture of Lusamine. If she wasn't choking on vines and fear, Lillie might have laughed. There was only one pretty picture of Lusamine in the world and it existed only in Lillie's own mind. It was a picture from a time when she was young, very young, before obsession consumed her family, before she and Gladion were old enough to be judged as "pretty" or "ugly", before that was something Lusamine felt the need to do.]

[But that image was growing more and more blurry as time went on. As she met people touched by Lusamine's madness. Now she was asking Guzma to burn the picture completely and she knew it. But perhaps...perhaps this is what she needs. To let go of that image and accept that it is no longer the truth.]

[Besides, she has to fix this. Has to make up for what her mother did to Guzma, somehow. How can she repair that damage if she doesn't even know what the wound is? So from a dry throat she whispers:]

I...I want to know.

[Guzma stares down Lillie for a another minute longer, searching her face for something, something that would stop him from telling her. He sees nothing - nothing but a fiercely determined girl who's ready to toss her past into the fire, ready to move past the hope that things can return to the way they were long ago. He sees a reflection of himself, when he was her age, and makes him want to recoil angrily. She and Gladion were so similar to him, but Gladion made the first move - he escaped - and Lillie...Lillie was left behind to suffer the direction of Lusamine's ire.

He probably even made her condition worse for everyone past that point. Guzma inhales sharply, approaches his hammock and seats himself inside it. It's better that he sits, because that way it'll take him longer to react, if he has to get up to actually throw or break something. That, and she has a clear shot to the exit if she needs to run.]

Tch...fine. You're mom is nuts, kid, plain and simple. I don't know what's done and got to 'er, but she's a freaking psycho. I didn't trust her at first, when she approached me and made me a...a business offer. For the help of Team Skull in looking for you, and for basically doing her dirty work - because heck if she'd even muss up her fancy manicure, she'd give us a nice lil sum of cash, yeah? And pull some strings of her own to get us some necessities. How y'all think a bunch of no-good thugs and runaway kids could afford a speedboat? Or half the junk we got tucked up in the mansion. [Televisions, the newest gaming systems, stereos, Guzma and Plumeria even have their own personal laptops and smartphones.]

Deal sounded real sweet, so I decided to take it, but believe me...I didn't trust that witch s'far as I could throw 'er, but...well, y'know. She got a way of roping y'all in, making you see eye-to-eye with 'er. [He taps a finger to the side of his skull.] Warps yer perceptions of 'er until y'can't help but think she's an angel. Hmph! Eventually she even conned me into latching onto every word she done said. I did everything she wanted me to unquestioningly, and had I know the real depths of our contract I would'a bailed in a second.

She'd done went nuts over them Ultra Beasts. Still got no idea what she saw in those monsters - maybe cuz they were poisonous just like she was - but she had it in her head to let 'em loose in Alola...and she did. She got'a hold of you...got a hold'a that creampuff-- [He nods to Nebby.] ...and tore open a whole slew of Wormholes all over. Evntually, she opened one up that'd take her to their world. Initially, I thought she just wanted to catch one of 'em - quick grab n' go - but nah...nah.

[He begins to chuckle, hoarse, quiet, and wheezy, mingled with a slight cough. The flowers in his hair begin to fall away, curling up and becoming brown and brittle. It's working - his confession is working.] Once we were in their world, she didn't wanna go back. That Ultra Space, it's...it's like hell. It's dark, empty, and there's nothing there but them Nihilego. If you're not choking on the tense air in that place, then I guarantee you're choking on that thing's poison, because it's a goddamn parasite!!

[He growls, losing himself momentarily as he begins to relive the moment he was possessed.] Those things latch on to you and they...they possess you! You can't fight them, either - not on their turf - and when they dig into you, you just...you. You lose it. You're like a puppet to them things - they control your thoughts, your emotions, your body. You're filled with nothing but an intense fear and it's the worst. Cuz y'all can feel it happening, your whole body being taken over, and unable to do a single thing about it!

AND YOU WANNA KNOW THE WORST PART?! SHE LET IT HAPPEN! SHE LEFT ME THERE TO FEND FOR MYSELF AGAINST THOSE THINGS!! Job done, good work, Guzma, now piss off! [He roars, slamming his fists down hard on his thighs that they ache and sting, but he feels nothing. The adrenaline fueled by his anger numbs the pain.]

To hell with her!! I tore through that stinking mind control all by myself, you think it was easy?! And she didn't do a damn thing! She tossed me aside the second I fulfilled my role and she got her wish. I was nothing to 'er after that! All the praise she lavished onto me...I ate it up like a man starved, and once I had my fill, and she used me up, then she let me back out onto the streets. I left everything for her, because I thought it'd be better. I left my Team, my brothers and sisters, my home, because she filled my head with lies... Tch! If the island ever drags her sorry backside here, I ain't making the same mistake--

I'm tossing her sorry carcass off the mountain like I should'a tossed her limp body down the stairs of the alter when we got outta that shitty place!! Your mom is an ugly, terrible, black-hearted bitch that don't deserve nothing but a swift punch in the face and a knife in 'er back!

YOU WANT THE TRUTH?! WELL, YOU'RE MOM'S BEYOND FORGIVENESS! SHE AND MY OLD MAN CAN ROT TOGETHER, FOR ALL I CARE!!

[As he speaks, even as he raises his voice to a roar, Lillie remains still save for a slight trembling of her frame. Nebby cowers against her leg, completely silent and shaking - so much so that she's a little worried it might teleport her again, but she doesn't have a lot of energy to focus on it. Her attention is on Guzma. Searching his face for any sign of exaggeration or lies. But no, he's being honest. He's telling her exactly what Lusamine did and how it affected him. And when he finishes, she falls to her knees in both relief and despair.]

[Somewhere, deep in her heart, she isn't surprised by the details of what her mother had done. Used to his breaking point, discarded, ugly when his services were no longer needed. It's just what Lusamine does. Lillie had learned to swallow that long ago in the hopes of staying pretty in her mother's eyes. But the growing disinterest in her family and friends, the growing obsession with the Ultra Beasts, the little patterns in their interactions that warned Lillie she would be ugly soon...that's what drove her away in the end. Poor Guzma didn't have the experience with her to see those patterns. She can almost hear her mother's sickly sweet voice telling him how beautiful his life could be, smooth as silk, coaxing him away and right into her bear-trap smile.]

[But to leave him to Nihilego? She had not only discarded him as a person, but had been complacent in his potential death. That fact is what fills her with despair so deep she can't even cry. Guzma was strong enough to resist and retaliate. Anyone else would have died that day. No price was too steep for her perfect world. Nothing was worth more than beauty. Not even a human life. It was true, in that case, that she was beyond help. Beyond Lillie's reach.]

[When he's finished his tirade, Guzma feels...ill. His gut clenches and his chest burns and aches painfully. His skin seems to crawl and itch, and decent handful of the flowers that were sprouting from his arms and back - hidden by his hoodie and undershirt - wither and die. But that's not the only reason why he feels sick. Giving up that knowledge, that emotion, that fury that's been built up in him for so long is...strange. It's strange, and now that it's left his mouth, he feels like something else has left his body as a whole. He feels empty, void, and while his body still trembles with anger, breathing harsh and ragged, Guzma feels somewhat numb.

But Lillie's apology reels him back in, and he hisses bitterly at her, between her apology. Happy? They were happy?]

Hmph, yeah, so was I... you n' me are more alike than y'all think. [He leans back to lay in his hammock, breathing in and out in long, deep breathes, to soothe the tremor in his stomach and the throbbing in his ears. Whoever the hell said talking about your problems makes you feel better can eat shit. He still feels terrible; like he's going to vomit all over the place. Vomit, then sleep for the rest of his life. That, at least, is more familiar. Guzma always feels exhausted after he gets angry like that - it's tiring, and draining on his whole body.

He hangs his legs over the edge of his hammock, arms folded over his stomach and swinging slightly, listening to Lillie expose herself to him in return. It's not anything he wants to hear, and Guzma grinds his teeth because of how close to home this all hits. How many times did he try to talk back? To stand up for himself? Only to get lashes across his back or face. But abuse can take many forms, and sometimes the scars they leave aren't visible on the outside.]

...You're a good kid, y'know. Too bad that nasty woman couldn't see it. [Perhaps Lillie is naive in her kindness, her generosity, he hope for something better, but she's still just a child. Guzma is older, he's experienced the cruel reality of the world, and gave up on it and its people. She should at least hold onto her innocence for a little while longer, and her good parts longer still.] And don't apologize to me, girl, I didn't say any'a that to you for y'all to feel sorry for me. You ain't the one who ought'a apologize anyway. If anything, I owe you an apology, for what I done put you and that creampuff through...for the sake of your dememnted mother.

So, here it is - I'm sorry.

[Shouldn't she be relieved? Lighter? Emptier?]

[Lillie is trembling, but she can't cry anymore. Her chest just shakes silently instead. When did everything get so bright, so...loud? The ocean sounds outside are almost unbearable. The air feels heavy against her skin. Is this what a panic attack feels like? She's too tired for this. Far too tired.]

You don't have to be sorry. You couldn't have known. That's...probably exactly the way she wanted it to be. I don't hold it against you...but still, thank you for saying it.

[Nebby bumps against her leg and Lillie leans down to scoop it up, more petals and leaves falling off of her with every movement. She can tell she's going to throw up dead plants later. It does not do anything to calm her nerves.]

[Sinking into the blankets and pillows on her little corner of the floor, Lillie takes a long, steadying breath and holds her little Cosmog close.]

As long as we're being honest, can I tell you one more thing...?

[The feeling is mutual - Guzma brushes a few withered flowers off his arms carelessly, feeling his insides churn angrily. It's definitely the sickness, the honestly forcing the growing weeds in his gut to crumble and die, but also the whole of exhaustion he feels from confessing all of that. It's the fatigue of his anger, the emptiness that occurs when the fire's snuffed out. He knows the best thing to do is to let out the sick, then just sleep it off, but...]

Mmh? [Guzma hums curiously, glancing over toward where Lillie is from his hammock, kicking off a few more flowers. If this is honesty hour, he's not going to stop the kid. It helps heal, as awful as it feels to do so.] Yeah, go ahead.

[He closes his eyes, but he's listening. The light just hurts right now, when there's a growing throb to his temples, and a swelling fever in his stomach, a burning in his chest. Maybe he ought to keep a pot or something close by, to catch the sick, because there's no way he's not going to hurl within the next hour. It's been pretty constant at this point.]

You must have thought I hated you all this time, knowing what you did...I never hated you, but I was afraid of you from the first moment I met you. But I understand better now and...I know you don't want me to feel sorry for you, but I do feel sympathy...

[She struggles to find the right words. Fails. Cuts straight to the point as she squeezes her eyes shut. What if this makes him angry? What if he doesn't want her to feel comfortable? What if he doesn't want her to understand? It doesn't matter. She does feel more comfortable knowing he's human, and that he's been hurt, too. She does understand. And if that makes him angry, so be it.]

I just thought you should know that I don't think...I don't think I'm afraid of you anymore.

[There's a tension for a minute, as Guzma says and does nothing for several minutes - he just breathes evenly and digests all of that for a moment. It's not uncommon for people to be afraid f him, it's something he's more or less dealt with even amongst his own team members past, but having someone admit they've...grown past their fear--

Guzma exhales, then swings his legs out of hammock and approaches Lillie with a slight wobble in his step. His joints still ache from the plants, despite how many flowers have fallen off him - left behind in his hammock - but there's purpose in his step. One of his large hands reach out and clasps her very gently on the top of her head, giving her a slight shake as he utterly destroys any semblance of maintenance she's kept of it. His lifts at one side, almost proudly, then he releases her.]

Good job, Princess. [And as he speaks those words, a number of flowers wither and die, falling from his body - a token of his sincerity and his honesty.]

[There's a paralyzing moment that comes with Guzma's first movement. It's not...fear, per se, but a flash of disbelief. Then he ruins her hair and she wheezes a hollow breath of exasperation and tired laughter. For a moment there she was positive you were about to live up to the legend and give her a reason to be afraid again, Guzma.]

[But no, he wasn't a monster. He was more like a stern older brother. Pushing you to succeed and test your limits. And even if she wasn't partial to that method of learning, she had to admit it had worked on her. Certainly it had worked less painfully than subtle manipulation and pressure to conform to expectations ever had.]

[Flowers wither and die inside of her, causing her stomach to churn violently. It's bittersweet - healing by way of violent destruction of the infection. But Lillie holds it together long enough to mutter a reply.]

Thank you. You, too...

[And then she sinks back into the pillows and resolves to let her body sort itself out. Recovering from this illness would be a process. For now, she suspects both she and Guzma could use a little quiet and calm. But her heart isn't as heavy now. Nebby isn't as tense, and calls out softly as if to congratulate them both. It's...over.]

I'm so sorry. [Her voice is hoarse and she can't meet Guzma's eyes now.] I...I can't wish for her death, it's just not who I am, but words can't express...

We...were happy, once, you know. All of us, together. I don't remember exactly why or when, but she changed at some point. She started...started to control everything we did, like we were her dolls. I tried to pick out my own clothes one day, because I saw a fashion magazine and wanted to try and look pretty like the girl on the cover. When I came out of my room and showed her, do you know what she told me?

She said "Lillie, you can't go out like that, you'll be laughed at! You look hideous, dear. Let mommy pick out your clothes. I just don't want to see you hurt, you know?" Her nine year old daughter. She called her nine year old daughter hideous, for wearing a skirt and blouse instead of a dress she'd picked out herself.

[There were other occasions. When she felt sick and didn't want to eat one night, and her mother told her she'd worked so hard to make dinner, but if Lillie didn't want to eat it, that was okay - she could just have water, instead. That wouldn't upset her stomach. She'd taken away the plate before Lillie could even answer. She only had water for dinner, breakfast and lunch the next day, until she finally lied and said she felt better at dinner out of desperation. And how many times had she heard the phrase "Lillie, that's not very pretty of you."? How many times had she felt legitimately guilty and ashamed for trying to be independent in even the smallest ways?]

That's the kind of person she became. And I always thought that...that maybe if she could change into such a cruel woman, she could change back into a kind one. But she just wears people down until they have nothing but her, just to throw them away, just...just because she can, probably. Lives are just tools to her. Things to be used up in pursuit of her own happiness. I'm so sorry, Guzma. I'm so, so sorry.

I understand now. It's not just on the surface, she's rotten on the inside, too. I can't fix her. I can't go back to what we had. Worst of all, I can't ever fix what she's done to the people around her. What she did to you, what she was willing to do to Nebby, what she did to Gladion and me...it's all because she's ugly. Not us.

[The flowers around her arm wilt rapidly. She only notices because feeling rushes back into the flesh there as the roots wither away from nerves and stop cutting off bloodflow. That single, final sentence has kickstarted a purging process, petals falling from her hair and hands the more the realization sinks in.]

[ after returning from her expeditions, hifumi decides to make good on her word to visit lillie. now that it's been confirmed that emotional honesty is the key to fending off this disease, she thinks that taking lillie up on her offer may be wise. she can share some small things with her, since lillie sounds so young and is still yet a stranger; but she will also lend an ear if lillie would like to talk as well. an equivalent exchange, one that will hopefully be helpful to someone.

hifumi heads to enso and sees the girl in the white hat. hifumi approaches her slowly, staggering as flowers begin to bloom out of her palms and her ears. ]

Lillie-san...?

[Lillie isn't in great shape herself. She knows about the cure, too, and is all the more glad she offered to listen to peoples' dying words because of it. Maybe she could save some lives this way. Perhaps not her own life, though. She's tried to be honest, but the truth of the matter is that she doesn't know how she feels about so many things. Honesty is hard when the truth isn't known to you.]

[Her left arm hangs useless at her side, wreathed in thick bundles of delicate white flowers, scabbed and still bleeding. Blood stains the front of her white dress - in flecks some places and in still growing patches in others. Her lips are cracked and dry from breathing (albeit barely) through her mouth so much. But when she hears someone say her name she looks up and forces a smile. A small cloud-shaped creature is nestled against her side, unusually subdued for those familiar with its usual behavior. It blinks up at Hifumi curiously as she approaches.]

Yes, that's me. Are you Miss Hifumi?

[ lillie looks young--younger than her, at least. it's enough to make hifumi's heart churn when she sees how much the flowers have consumed her left arm, how she's bleeding out, and hifumi reaches for the first aid kit she's holding underneath her arm. she's lost a lot of feeling in her hands. carrying it in her hands that are riddled with snapdragons has been challenging, to say the least.

still, she manages a smile, sitting beside lillie. she fumbles with the kit a little, struggling to open it, but she does get it eventually. ]

Yes. It's a pleasure to meet you, despite our circumstances. [ she gestures to the bandage. ] Would you like me to bandage your arm, Lillie-san? It may help with the bleeding, at the very least.

It's nice to meet you, too.

[Lillie takes note of the difficulty Hifumi has with the kit and the severity of the flower growth on her hands. She knows now how difficult it is to lose feeling and control like this. So many people were suffering through it, too...]

You don't have to if you can't. It's been doing this on and off all day, I'm sure it'll stop soon...

...I'm...not so sure about that.

[ she hates to potentially instill fear into lillie, but she thinks it's better to tell her the truth than feed her lies and leave her to bleed out. hifumi fumbles with the bandage wrap, but manages to hold it out towards the other girl. ]

I can certainly try. Is that alright with you?

Oh, if you're sure...then yes, that's fine. Thank you very much.

[She'd hold out her arm to make it easier, but. Well. Her control over that limb is limited to say the least. "Gone" would be more apt. In the crook of her good arm, Nebby makes a soft, echoing noise. It beams up at Hifumi, wiggling the closer she gets, not defensive or protective but curious and happy to meet someone new.]

[Lillie can't help but smile. Nebby could be cheerful through even the darkest nights. It gives her hope that she can pull through this.]

[Why did Pyrrha keep going back to that island? She'd been taking on more and more expeditions as time wore on, not even the threat of the flower illness had really slowed her down all that much. She didn't want it to. She would keep going as long as she could. Maybe... if she tried hard enough, and ignored the flowers she coughed up by the day, she would find a clue in a hidden bunker, or another stash of Fluro.

Or maybe she would just die one of these days. She wasn't partial to thoughts like that, even if they were worming their way in now.

At least Lillie is easily noticeable, thanks to her hat, and the small creature nuzzled into her lap. She should at least say hello, maybe see how she's doing herself. Even with the few flowers in her hair, and the couple on her arm making her sheepish.]

Hello there... [She doesn't know this person, but she'll force a smile as well.] Pardon me, but, you look tired. Are you waiting for anyone?

[Lillie must certainly look tired - she sleeps on the floor to shelter Luna from the disease, and while Guzma has set up some blankets and pillows to ease her discomfort, it's still not pleasant. By now, the delicate white Baby's Breath blooms have begun poking through the skin on her left arm, spiraling around from shoulder to wrist. She's begun to lose feeling there. Has started leaving that arm limp in her lap. The front of her white dress is stained with blood from her unceremonious transition from Stage One to Stage Two. She knows she's not a particularly pleasant sight.]

[So when someone approaches, her smile doesn't really reach her eyes. Nebby, at least, seems unaffected by the floral infection. It trills a greeting to Pyrrha, but makes no effort to escape Lillie's arms for once.]

Oh, hello. I'm...[She shakes her head, laughing quietly.] Not for anyone in particular, no. I'm just here to hear people out if they want to talk before...well. If they want to talk.

[It isn't a very pretty sight, but one that Pyrrha has become increasingly, and sadly, familiar with. There was a similar method to the way she carried her right arm to the way Lillie tended to her own. White Edelweiss flowers had sprouted from the forearm, curling all the way up towards her shoulder as stage two took hold. Every so often, she clenched her fist, hoping to regain a bit of feeling in her arm, with little luck.

Inwardly, she thanked the fact that her hair was so brightly crimson. It hid the blood from the flowers there. It did not help the headaches.]

I... see. [She understands completely.] That's very sweet of you, and a very kind gesture. Um...?

[There was almost a name in there somewhere?]

Hm? Oh, I'm sorry - I'm Lillie. And this is Nebby.

[The little creature in the crook of her arm looks like a cloud made of stardust. It calls out again at the mention of its name, always happy to be a part of the conversation.]

It doesn't seem to be affected by the illness at all, thankfully...I don't know what I'd do if it was.

[So there really is someone waiting here. A kid, as he'd suspected from her announcement, and... some kind of cloud? Looks like a pet, or something.

By now, walking is something of a struggle, with the flowers that had sprouted from his ankle making their way up his leg; he's gotten hold of a large, sturdy enough solid branch to use as a crutch, but it's still slow going.

He stops a few feet away from her, and between the illness and the exertion of getting here, he can't keep the concern out of his expression as he looks this child over.]

You doing alright?

[Nope.]

[Lillie's left arm is surrounded in a thick spiral of flowers, too delicate and soft looking to be sprouting from scabbed sores. That arm sits limp in her lap, only an occasional twitch of the fingers when a root wraps around a nerve to break up the stillness. The blood on her dress is dry, though some fresh flecks exist from coughing up petals (which she has covered in dirt and leaves to prevent alarm).]

[Nebby is quiet, but watches Ginko intently. It's unusually subdued behavior, for anyone who is familiar with the cloud's usual rowdy antics.]

Yes...[She catches herself when her shoulder muscles spasm with a surge of growing roots. Shakes her head and smiles to hide the pain.] Well, as alright as anyone can be, given the situation. How about you, mister...?

[Boy, that... sure sounds like a lie. Ginko raises his eyebrows, but he supposes arguing outright wouldn't be too effective. So, instead, he just moves a couple steps closer before giving up and sitting down heavily on the ground, winding his tail around himself and laying his makeshift crutch over his lap.]

...As much as you'd expect. [He smiles weakly, but it doesn't take it long to waver.] You've... been up here talking to people to help them get better, right?

Well, truthfully it started out as an offer to listen to people who needed to work through being ill and possibly...well, dying.

[And an excuse to get away from the somber and often tense mood back in the shack she shares with Guzma and Luna. Guzma was grumpy on a good day. Flower hell has not made him more amicable.]

But now that I know it helps cure people, I've taken the job more seriously, yes.

I see. That's very thoughtful of you.

[He means it. But, Ginko himself didn't come up here to make confessions. Maybe he will, if it comes to that, but...] Have you talked to anyone about yourself yet?

Oh, um. Not really, no.

[The creature in her arms squirms. She's clearly a little hesitant to let go, but ultimately relents so that Nebby can float over to Ginko and bump against his leg cheerfully. She's gotten better about letting the little Cosmog wander - so long as it stays close by. Nobody here even knew what it was, let alone how to exploit it. And she wasn't trying to hide from the Aether Foundation, so. Free Nebby 2kwhatever.]

[He's distracted, briefly, by the little animal. After a moment, he lifts a hand to kind of... pat it? He'll try that and see how it goes.

His attention returns to the girl soon enough, though. He can pet a weird space animal and talk at the same time, that should be fine.]

You... probably should. [Stating the obvious there, maybe.] It's great that you're helping people out, but you really should look after yourself, too.

[The attention seems to please the little cloud, because it cries out energetically and settles itself next to Ginko, looking at Lillie as if expecting her to come join them. She doesn't have the guts to just approach a stranger like that, but she appreciates the vote of confidence from Nebby.]

I guess...it's just that, well...I don't really know what to say. Everyone is admitting things about themselves, but I really don't think too much about who I am, or what I feel.

[This in and of itself is an admission - an acknowledgement of something painful for her. The story behind why is just so long and complicated that she's sure nobody wants to hear it.]

Mm... kinda understand that, myself. [Sure, his hesitance is partly related to not being sure he wants to admit what he does know - about who he is, why he is this way. But there's a lot that he doesn't quite know how to explain, even if he wanted to.]

But, I suppose this is a good time to start thinking about it. Even if you can't figure much out on your own, talking back and forth with someone might help you work something out.

[Hey now, she came here to hear other peoples' dying words, not figure out her own!! Lillie opens her mouth to say something, but thinks better of it, causing growth to surge in her chest. Something unsaid is as bad as a lie, it seems. She places a hand over her heart as if she can press down and mute the pain there.]

[But still, the sentiment is appreciated. He's right, too - talking it out would almost certainly help. But where to start? What to say? Maybe...]

We could trade, if you'd like. That way we can both heal.

[He... well. Actually he doesn't much like that, but he can't say that it's much of a surprise, either. So he only hesitates for a moment before nodding.]

Alright.

Anything you can think of to talk about?

Thank you. I think...I think it's easier if I believe I'm doing it to help someone else.

[Lillie is quiet a moment as she thinks of what to say. Should she start at the beginning? That would take a very long time. A lot of explaining bad memories in the vague hope that she'll realize something in the process. Or should she start with the here and now? With Guzma and Luna and the island?]

I guess...I should be honest about why I'm out here and not resting at home. It's...well it's not exactly a lie to say it's to help others and hear them out, but it's also because I'm afraid of Guzma. I know I shouldn't be...Luna trusts him, and she would never trust someone who isn't good at heart, but I think he might hate me.

Right. [He gives a small nod, and... well, yeah. He understands that, for sure.]

What makes you think that?

I know...I know my mother did something terrible to him. I think I remind him of her.

[Her hands ball into tight fists.]

But I'm nothing like her. I never will be.

...Guess that could do it.

Do you think he actually hates you, or is he just put off because he's reminded of her?

oh i wish you'd open up for me

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1/2 - forgive the upcoming headcanon, both because it's sad and because it's. headcanon.

/smooches uwu np, np i have a slew of headcanons myself

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august 12; cw body horror

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August 12th! slight body horror cw

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yikes i'm super sorry where did those 6 days go,,

let's say the 13th or so?

sounds good! cw for body horror from here on out

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