[closed] i disappeared last night while sleeping in my bed, a field of lavender beneath my head

[deathfindsaway]

Who: Kravitz and Taako (ohshitsweetflips)
What: A conversation about some ideal worlds, and perhaps a more harsh reality.
When: Backdated to a few days after the Bliss event
Where: Camp BASE (Enso E6)
Warnings: Some depression, probably, but should otherwise be cool.

Whatever Kravitz expected out of this place, that last experience was not it.

Kravitz supposes he got lucky, in arriving when he did- plenty of peace, time to relax and learn how to live before everything turned to god kidnapping and near death. Even though Kravitz and everyone he cares for made it out, what he saw in there is still nagging at him. There's more in depth ways to go about the issue, but the biggest one is that there's just too much Kravitz doesn't know- from home, and in Taako's head. He feels like he should be used to confrontation, something he can handle and grasp, but... he needs this. He has to ask.

Obviously, he has the decency to wait until they're alone, though Kravitz spends the top of the day unnaturally quiet. Finally, he steps into the tent, parting the fabric with a hand and trying to quell the jumping in his heart.

"Taako? Can I, uhm... talk to you?"

Comments

[ohshitsweetflips]

Even if the Ethereal plane has been replaced with a terrifying neverspace, Blink suddenly looks really appealing right about now. Which is a horrible thing to think, and Taako feels kinda bad for that, but. Maybe that was an okay conversational opener in Kravitz' day, but here however many hundreds of years later, it's a great way to make the terrifying embrace of the void look more attractive than whatever conversation is about to happen.

But like. He knew something was coming, he's not that dumb. And it's not like Kravitz is wrong to have some...qualms. The real struggle will be to remember that, and not go on the defensive right out of the gate. Or the offensive. Or any other stupid shit. What he basically needs is to be a different person, but apparently even that causes a huge fuckoff mess. Can't even be glad death is here for him because at this point death may be looking for an out. Honestly fuck that shitty plant god.

"Yeah, that-- That's probably a good idea." He does not entirely sound like he thinks it is. Blame the sigh of misery in his words on leftover vine fatigue. His instinct is, of course, to keep talking, but he doesn't even know how to spin this yet, so he just draws in on himself even further.

[deathfindsaway]

It wasn't really a good opener and kind of never has been, but Kravitz has exactly 0 ideas and nowhere he can even begin to start here. He walks in, steps light and careful. For a man who embodies death, he sure seems to barely exist right now. Like if he had the choice he would simply disappear. Then again, he's basically a ghost as it is. What tether has he had to this world in so long that isn't Taako?

He's never felt quite this displaced. He doesn't know how to resolve it.

Kravitz sits nearby, keeping his hands in his lap. How close is he supposed to be? How can he mitigate this damage, as much as he can? As if somehow he isn't causing the damn thing. But he needs some kind of closure, even if he isn't certain what that is.

"So I, uhm." He stumbles with his words, his tone, nitpicking every moment of his existence. "I just... Taako, I know we've never really talked about our pasts or lives and I don't want to force you into anything, but. I want to talk about what we, what we both saw, under the influence of that... god." He'll pick that word, and not the affectionate name he's used in his head, which is losely translated to 'Vinefucker Liferuiner'. He breathes, and tries again.

"I just. You know you don't need to... do anything you don't want to. And it's not necessarily fair to hold you to any assumptions based on the influence of a third party, but I feel like I need to... understand you better. Does that make sense?"

[ohshitsweetflips]

There's a lot in there about not wanting to force or hem him in, and that makes him want to laugh bitterly. Newsflash, deserted island, etc. Not like Taako came here by choice either, but at least no one here has ever had to wonder if his companionship is motivated by anything but his own whims. Taako isn't the one who got bundled up into a chaotic and tiresome life without any other connections to lean on. It's actually not that funny, upon closer inspection.

"Yeah," he agrees too readily, because it's that or make this like pulling teeth, and he's still very determined not to do that. He's not sure it does make sense, but that's fine. It's fair, anyway, to want to be less in the dark than Taako has kept him. "Dunno how much help I'll be, but hey, knock yourself out. Maybe we'll both learn something."

That's a less than ideal tack to take, but it's not the worst, not outright combative, at least. It's just hard not to be a little bitter, even on top of his obvious disappointment in himself. None of this had to happen, everything was going fine doing things his way. And that's what he mourns. Fuck that Rapsho dickweed. "Just-- I don't really think you should read into it too much, you know? I mean I think we can both say an evil plant god that wants to eat us maybe didn't have our best interests at heart. Right?"

He looks up hopefully, because it's, kind of a sound argument? Kind of. Having given Kravitz carte blanche on the questioning front, he has to make at least one attempt at evasion, to balance it out. Who would he be, if he didn't?

[deathfindsaway]

He knows Taako doesn't want to have this conversation. It's the same hesitance that stopped him from stepping to this earlier, to not wanting to ask as soon as everything broke and it was safe. He had hoped he'd be able to get past this, not to let the worries nag at him. But he can't live in that space, not just for Taako's sake, but his own. He needs some sort of closure. Some answer. And by it's very nature, it's one Taako has to give.

"No, I-- I completely understand that. There's nothing that says this was a direct line from our fantasy to reality, and it's prerogative was simply to keep us happy and complacent. That doesn't necessarily mean... everything it could." He can feel the next bit sitting heavy on his tongue, and he can't hold it for more than a breath. "But I do want to make... sure. Or figure out if it is one of these things, so we can... figure this out."

Gods, he's scared. Why is he so scared? The stakes are of course higher here- he can't just leave, cut off contact and not let this blow over with a few hundred years of sulking in the Astral Plane. But he doesn't really care about the physical actions that might come after this. He cares so much more about what Taako says.

"I know I'm not one to typically ask for reassurances, or need to slow something down, but... you don't need to humor me just because I'm here, if that's not... where this has gone. I know we've spent some time apart, and if things have changed, you can tell me. I just want to... know. If your dream had any bearing on what you... what you want." He's not looking at him now, hands in his lap, hoping he gets the chance to use those words to waltz around the worst conversation he's literally had in his life. Kravitz swallows, trying to keep this from rambling on. "I don't want to be causing you harm."