Anywhere the struggle is great

[piercetheheart]

Who: Gladio, residents of Isle 1, and anyone else that shows up
What: Guys, GUYS.... shower time
When: Evening of May 8
Where: Just offshore of the Cove on Islet 1
Warnings: Gratuitous use of a wet Gladio

Over the last few days, since arriving really, Gladio has been doing his damnedest to keep track of all the things he needs to do, keeping track of all the projects that need tending to. It really is something of a miracle that they've gotten by for so long with so little.

His very first project is to make tanks for fresh water. There are two and it does not take terribly long to build the actual tanks. Prompto helps him gather wood and in those first few days he has enough animal fat to melt down and protect the wood of the base for the one he means to be an actual storage for drinking water. Both tanks are squares, roughly 4x4 cubes built on the edge of the grassy area that slopes down to the beach so he did not have to build them on frames. The first lined with clay and filled with sea water (for now at least). The second was split in half, the lower compartment for filtered water, the upper awaiting layers he was still working on.

Both had bamboo pipes that fed out, the shower tank already set up so that one could stand at the bottom of the hill, beneath the the output above and... well... shower. Gladio had already moved a few baskets of gravel and stone over so that the area beneath the shower was no longer sand and would not wash away as easily. The bar of soap that had come to him in his knapsack was sitting on a rock he'd dug into the hillside as something of a shelf. Now that everything was assembled it was time to test his work.

The first moment under the spray had him cursing, the water far colder than he'd have liked. Which had him marching back up to the top of the hill, poking around at the violently smoking, extremely hot mound of mud where he was making charcoal to collect a few stones. Makeshift wooden tongs to pick them up, far too hot to handle with his hands, and immediately upon dropping them into the shower tank the water began roiling around the stones, spreading the heat into the water.

"Perfect!" And then he was running back down to the base of the hill to bask under the spray of warm water, leather pants and boots long since cast aside and now his boxers sticking to him but he wasn't quite ready to scandalize anyone yet.

Comments

[shatteredlenses]

"This isn't about what I can or can't do, Gladio," Ignis frowns slightly as his friend continues to pull away, but worry that he might set off another spell like the previous one keeps him from following this time. Of course, once he figures out what Gladio is likely doing when he drags his shield over and props it against himself, his worry almost loses its battle against his need to protect.

In the end, he settles into a sitting position near to, but not touching, the Shield. It will have to do until he manages to learn more about what is going on in Gladio's head.

"This is about helping you to deal with pain you are long overdue help dealing with. You can't keep all of this inside you, and I can't help you if you do. There are things I've been told about the future--about the darkness--but none of it is enough to really know why you're hurting so badly," he reaches a hand out in Gladio's direction. "I need you to help me help you. It hurts me so much to know you're in this much pain."

Especially, considering he knows his older self is responsible for a big chunk of it.

[piercetheheart]

Ignis talks about the hurt like it's something he can just let go of, surrender and let it float away and it's frustrating. The only way he's been able to keep going for years has been to bury it all inside, to push it down and away and work himself ragged so he never really has time to think about it at all, never mind process it. It's... absolutely terrifying, to think of just putting all of it out in the open, all of his weaknesses on display.

Especially when Ignis could ruin him so easily with any one of them.

And that's almost more frightening, knowing that somewhere, deep down, there's part of him that doesn't trust Ignis not to hurt him. It would be so easy and he honestly doesn't know how he'd survive it a second time. It's easier, safer, to keep everything closed and locked away.

Ignis wants him to just lay himself bare like it's magically going to fix something when he knows nothing will change, he'll only make himself more vulnerable. And Ignis doesn't want to know what things have been like, the depths of the darkness they've been living in. Maybe some part of him wants to protect Ignis from suffering with the same knowledge he has, maybe he just, selfishly, doesn't want to live it again to tell him.

But the fact that he keeps pushing only sparks that deep well of anger in him again, he doesn't yell but his tone is sharp.

"Cor's dead." But that's the first time he's really admitted it aloud and as angry as he is the words leave him like a punch to the gut, all of the air rushing out of him and he looks helplessly up at Ignis for a moment. How can this help?

"He- Noct was-" How does he explain what happened without telling him all the things that happened before. "It should've been me." Is all he manages to choke out. Not crying so much as just not able to find enough air.

[shatteredlenses]

"The Marshal's..." It takes forever for Ignis to get that much out of his mouth and even then he can't finish the sentence. Logically, he knows they have to have lost many over those long years of darkness, but hearing Cor was one of them...

And recently. From the way Gladio speaks, it has to have been recent.

He swallows hard and lets his head drop. If Ignis could see, he'd be looking at the rocks that make up the shower floor, pulling out patterns, using that to sort out the mess in his mind, but now all he has is darkness to look into. Emptiness that doesn't hold any of the answers he's seeking.

What is he doing? Does he really think he can do anything to help Gladio when he's been through so much loss and pain? Loss and pain Ignis can't even fully comprehend because he hasn't lived it yet. Used to being teasingly called the group's mother, he suddenly feels like a lost child. So far back in the timeline. So much everyone else has lived through he hasn't.

Unconsciously, he wraps his arms around himself, fighting back a shiver. Every time he thinks he's found a way to drive back the helplessness that's been his constant companion since Altissia, it finds a way back into his heart and mind.

Would it be better of Gladio talked to Noctis about this? Noctis has been through it all. Died and come back by some strange twist of fate, but if Gladio won't burden Ignis with this, he knows the Shield will never burden his King with it either.

"Noct doesn't want any of us to die for him. You know that. Not even you; no matter what the role of Shield demands. He would rather we all lived for him instead."

[piercetheheart]

"Doesn't mean Cor should've-" He cuts himself off again, shakes his head. He has to work at getting his emotions under control and a large part of that is seeing how upset Ignis is. He shouldn't have said anything, he didn't intend to so why did he open his stupid mouth.

"Ig..." There's a moment of hesitation, fear and uncertainty, and then he shifts the shield aside, holding his hand out to the other man. "C'mere." It was so fucked up, being so uncertain about something as simple as offering comfort. He hated that there was so much doubt when it came to Ignis. Sometimes, if he let himself forget, they could just be friends as though nothing had happened, just like the old days.

But there was so much history and it was all so charged. But none of it was Ignis' fault and Gladio tried, he was trying so hard, to give this man here with him a clean slate. He didn't want to blame him for the actions of a man he was not yet and may not ever be.

[shatteredlenses]

No one should have had to do anything in this stupid war!

It's the first angry thought that forces its way into Ignis' mind. Noctis shouldn't have to die. Neither should have Cor, Regis, Clarus, or any of the other thousands if not millions of innocents that were lost over the years of darkness. On top of that, Ardyn should never have been driven to the point he has been. He should not have been cast aside and so kindly nurtured into the madness that is his curse today. The man he was should never have been murdered by the Astrals and denied even basic human dignity afterward.

So many should nots. All of it Bahamut's fault.

Ignis says none of this to Gladio, though. Not yet. This isn't the time. Instead, he takes his friend's hand and allows himself to be pulled into those familiar comforting arms. Tears prick at his eyes again, but he does his best to hold them back. Whether they are tears of mourning for Cor or tears of frustration at his own helplessness, Ignis has cried enough today.

And, honestly, he has so much less right to cry than Gladio does.

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to lift some of this pain from your heart."

[piercetheheart]

Gladio draws Ignis close, pulls him in so that he's sitting between his legs, Ignis' back to Gladio's chest. He lets his arms wrap around him, leans his cheek against blond hair darkened by water. It doesn't matter that they're wet and he's only half clean. It doesn't matter that everything is a godsdamned disaster right now.

What matters is that, despite all odds, they're here and they're together and Gladio doesn't ever want to let him go again. A gentle squeeze, one hand shifting down to curl his fingers around Iggy's. He can't bring himself to care how much he gives away in this moment, pressing another fleeting kiss to Ignis' hair.

"Me too..." The first admission that the burden he carries is that, at least, and he buries his face into Ignis shoulder. "Just stay."