lifeaftr | take a one way ticket to the bacchanal

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take a one way ticket to the bacchanal

Who: Connor and the Jormun and y'all.
What: It's a weed party.
When: Weed Day
Where: The Monkey Compound.
Warnings: I mean. Drugs. There's drugs in this post and a disappointing lack of Alan Cumming dressed as a goat.

Connor kind of only means to invite the Jormun over because it's 4/20. He can't, like, not do anything for 4/20? Then it kind of occurs to him that after the utter disaster of the last island and the, uh. Questionable? Findings? On the new island, people might actually want to have a party.

So he scribbles a invitation somewhere on the rock:

Party on 4/20
Monkey Compound
Be there or be square
The party itself is kind of - there's a fire? And something is roasting over it? There's a couple tables, none of which are remotely the same shape or size because they're all that kind of wooden table. You know, the kind that rich people get to look rustic. There's also some chairs and benches, but let's be real: this was a party put together by a dumpster fire of a human being. Aside from the baskets on the center of each table that contains some fruit and a bunch of assorted bowls made out of coconuts - some of which contain suspiciously blue milk - there's not a whole lot of decoration. It basically looks like the kind of party that might show up if you searched "sad birthday parties" on a stock website.

He tried, okay? There was a serious attempt, given that realistically Connor actually was just gonna hang out with the Jormun and get high until he decided that other people might actually. Want to hang out or whatever?

Besides, we all know you're here for weed jokes anyway so it doesn't really matter what the actual party is like. Pretend like this is playing in the background or something.

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Kravitz chuckles, his chest shaking a bit where it's pressed against Taako's shoulder. He leaves his hand on the other man's hip, not forceful, but present. He's never sure exactly how open he's supposed to be at a public gathering, but he wants to look like he belongs here a little, so sue him. He's gonna stay cuddly until Taako gives him the veto and that's that.

"Really? Well, that just won't do. Your birthday, after all, how could they." As if they don't both know they co-opted this entire shindig. "I certainly don't yet know who to avoid, but I'm going to guess you're preparing to tell me."

Now there's a realization, and Taako nearly straightens up with the shock of it. He doesn't have that much in the way of humorously cutting commentary, and not just because he wasn't kidding about how few people are here that he's actually paid attention to. Not just because he's in a Good Mood, fueled by free weed and birthday festivities.

"That's the thing," he mutters, and he's so much quieter about this than he would be if he were actually embarking on some kind of AoE roast. "I don't think you need to avoid any of them."

Okay, he should avoid some of them for Kravitz reasons, but not Taako reasons. And like, that's good, right? So why does he sound like he found some kind of horror movie secret in the coat room and now they gotta leave before the sacrifice begins?

"I mean, I wouldn't take any life advice from them, but people here are chill. Except on Lawful Batshit island, but I'm pretty sure that one sank. Weird, right?"

He blinks once or twice, because-- well, it's not a bad answer, but certainly not the one he was expecting, and certainly not out of Taako. Not that it's bad that he's making friends and not picking fights, but like-- well they both know it's unexpected. Still, Kravitz smiles a gentle look at him, pressing another gentle kiss to the side of his head.

"Well, it's better if the locals are friendly. Even if no one's local, and we're all trapped here." He's realizing that made very little sense, and he tries to start over. "What I mean is-- less to remember of the bad, then."

Plus, he has other questions, especially from that last description. "Though, when you say 'lawful batshit island' do you mean that place with all the guards? And arbitrary rulesets? I hope this isn't going to sound ridiculous, but that sounds like a dream I had."

Alright, no need to be that surprised, Taako is very charming and good at people actually, that's not the source of the revelation, shhh.

Even though he kind of suspects he's being rewarded for good behavior...well, there are worse things than being given affection just for being a generally decent person. Which he's doing for island survival purposes anyway, win/win. At the very least, it puts him off guard enough to be fairly agreeable. "Kind of a low bar, huh? Guess that's fair."

Thankfully he finds some other bullshit to get back on almost immediately. "You're right, that does sound ridiculous. Hey did you try any cookies? My friend, the baked goods spider, made them." He says this very pointedly. "Yeah, weird dream shit is a thing here, think its just, how the planes are. That place was even worse in real life, trust me."

Don't worry Taako, he knows you're putting that charisma to good use. And to Kravitz' credit, he's mostly being clingy for his own wants here. He's already been laughed at by a kid today, let him have something.

He does look quizzically at him at that last part though. That's, uh, a lot to unpack there. "... Okay, so. Point one, baked goods spider. You're going to have to elaborate. Point two, are you saying I dreamed something that actually existed before I arrived here? What would be the point of that? Is that how it... finds people? Frankly, I was rather surprised in the moment to be dreaming at all. I don't-- well, I didn't sleep much before arriving here."

It always feels good to baffle Kravitz, gotta keep him on his toes. Taako looks unnecessarily vindicated, even though he's responsible for exactly zero of these things.

"Yeah, you'll meet her, she's a spider with good taste in color schemes. Good baker too, must be all the hands." And the Taako (tm) brand oven, but he graciously doesn't mention it.

The rest of what Kravitz says is less easy to answer. He's not sure what the point of any of this is, really, doesn't...seem like it matters much whether there IS a point, even.

Also, unfortunately, Taako's status as a planar arcanist is currently at war with his status as the worst kind of high elf. "Listen, technically you could be dreaming lots of things that exist, every time. You don't know you aren't. I mean like, statistically, some of 'em probably do exist. You ever think about that?"

Taako, why must you do this to him. Why does he have to suffer this way. All he's ever done is love you and also try to kill you maybe two or three times. What's a few attempted murders between friends??

He punctuates that with a heavy sigh, as if he knows it's ridiculous but now also can't stop considering it because Taako made it a possibility. "Yes, I suppose, that's possible, in the sense that everything one thinks or manifests into thought can be imagined as real. However, the probability of it's known existence, and the even smaller chance that the existence is shared, is baffling. Or at least confusing."

Kravitz tilts his head to look at Taako, not quite smug, but a little pleased he might have been able to reason out that zag. "I may not be a scientist, but I know how a planar system works, and multiverse theory. I've had a long time to study that sort of thing, after all."

Did Taako get any of that? Probably. Mostly. He thinks Kravitz just agreed with him for the most part, and yet it sounded so much less cool. What a dork, citing his own lifespan. That's worse than Wikipedia. He pats Kravitz consolingly on the cheek, briefly distracted by all the alive-person-ness that now entails.

"I don't think probability works like that, but I will burn this party to the ground before I spend time thinking about it. You can't make me, it's my birthday." Truthfully speaking, his more likely defense against unwanted pseudo-philosophical debates is to go to sleep, as prominently as possible, but he did kinda start this one, and Kravitz deserves better.

But not much better. "Anyway, point is, that place was real. And shitty. Real shitty, you could say. Though that is where we got the lobster, so, you know. Six of one."

Taako kind of starts everything, but in his defense, Kravitz met this man and got assaulted by tentacles, he knew what he was getting into. Besides, Taako is engaging. As much as he pretends to complain, he loves that they rise to each other's challenge, that Taako doesn't meet him with fear or some status he continues to try and tout. He's just-- himself. It's nice.

But perhaps all of that is a little too introspective and gay right now, so he just chuckles, turning his head a bit to press a kiss to Taako's palm when it touches his face. "Eeh, who needs math. Not us, not now. And who am I to judge when you get a whole lobster out of the deal of being nearly murdered?"

The sarcasm is evident, but he won't push. Best of a bad situation, right? "What I meant was more I had an idea what you meant. But by the sound of it, we'll be heading into many more in the future. Maybe with less murder and more lobsters. Really, I'm surprised you took it as a pet and didn't eat it."

'Engaging' and 'nice' are certainly words, and applying them to Taako is certainly a choice that could be made. At least his judgment is sound when it comes to evaluating the worth of a lobster in the face of near-death. And the fact that a jungle island is no place for math.

"Hey, at no point did cha boy nearly get murdered, I was having a great time." A great time just truly spectacularly failing to steal, on numerous occasions, which Kravitz doesn't ever need to know about. Murder was on the table but just barely, really. It was fine.

That's one misapprehension hotly clarified/denied, but Taako still needs to defend himself on another front. "And we were absolutely gonna eat that lobster, one hundred percent, that was gonna be a victory dinner." He sighs, and has a very sheepish cast to his ears despite his defiant tone. "But you try looking Ren in the eyes and saying you're gonna boil one of the only survivors from the plane's worst water park. I dare you."

He hums knowingly as Taako explains, because okay, sure, that's likely why half the pets in camp are just pets. "Ah. Yep. That-- That tracks. She's a little hard to say no to, I admit."

Actually, that brings him back around to another question he really should ask. "How did you come to meet her, anyway? Another person dropped into this? I... assume she isn't from Faerun." Not that he thinks he knows everyone Taako knows, but he's only ever heard of one child, and Ren tends to make herself known. "Not that I'm saying I mind her or anything. Simply trying to get my bearings. She is rather friendly."

Kudos to Kravitz for asking this question in what is definitely the most urbane and least judgmental way possible. Honestly Taako was banking on maybe Kravitz just. Wouldn't notice? A kid who seems quite happy to call these two idiots real actual family words and lives in the jungle in a hobo camp like that's fine. Or like, obviously Kravitz was gonna notice, but maybe he forgot that’s not standard? Maybe he wouldn’t just wouldn't question it?

But he is, and now Taako has to decide, very quickly, where on the scale of 'utterly flippant' to 'embarrassingly sincere' this answer should fall. 'Found her in some ruins,' is a strong contender, just to see the look on his face; but considering circumstances the temptation to give an actual explanation is surprisingly strong, too. But ultimately he has no idea how to even word that morass of bullshit. He kind of went along with it for a lark, only realizing as time went on how much he hates that she lived the childhood he only thought he had, or even worse actually, and so now he and Lup are consolation prize elves. Nah.

"Funny story, actually, I caught her looting-- you know how we all showed up with bags with our names on them? Yeah, she was just going to town on those suckers. I gave her a few pointers." He says this last with the kind of casual humility that signs charity donation checks, before switching tracks completely, taking on a hushed and speculative kind of tone.

"I don't think she even knew it was stealing? I think her world's mostly dead, probably makes the looting a breeze. Except for the ghosts, she did say there were just like, shitloads of ghosts." Or that's what the takeaway was for Taako, re: ghosts.

If Kravitz knows anything, especially with Taako, it's how to roll with whatever he's putting forward today. A lot of what he does is an enigma that Kravitz knows he doesn't have the brainpower to spend overanalyzing, so for minor things, he's just more likely to let it happen to him. But that doesn't mean he's not curious. It's like a rationing of questions, where he has to pick out the ones he really wants answers to lest he gets lost in a forest of bullshit.

But he nods, seeming to accept that. "She is rather blase about the undead. Which is a bit worrying if her world is really crawling with spirits-- certainly sounds like someone isn't doing their job over there." Is he going to stop being bitter about that? Nah, not yet. "So then she followed you home and now you're an uncle, hm? Quite the progression."

He won't tease him about it, though he is smiling at the thought. "It's good that you're looking after her. This place is bad enough without children running around alone stealing things."

Teasing would almost have been better than this mysterious and straightforward approval he doesn't know what to do with. You can't just say things and mean them, Kravitz! That's not how conversations work! What does that even mean, 'good'? It simply isn't done, and the gravity of it is evident in Taako's general flusterment level, which is approaching 'Blink into the ocean' heights. But at least he's spared any further explanation of his uncle status by an opportunity to steer this all somewhere less fraught with sincerity, which he pounces on with obvious relief.

"Yeah, stealing alone's just a bad look all around, she really lucked out. Though at this point, I'm pretty sure she couldn't steal anything if she tried, you know? I mean, not that she's bad at it, but people are just letting it happen mostly. If it seems like something someone's gonna miss, we just put it in the store anyway, so Ren's driving the economy, if you think about it." He couldn't be more proud.

Oh no, Kravitz said words and they're his words and they mean things. Take that, Taako. Take his emotional honesty when it comes to how much he adores you and the things you do. The ultimate zag. The incredible con. It's truly his magnum opus.

He does smile when Taako just barrels forward, letting himself be taken along for the ride again but leaving enough barbs in his wake to trip him up. He just stays close, resting his head on Taako's to nestle his lips near his hair, giving him another gentle kiss above his temple. "I'd say we're all lucky to have you, though certainly not as anyone's moral compass."

See, look at that, Taako. More of him saying things and meaning them. Take that, you goobus. "Though, did you just tell me you let Ren steal precious items and then sell them back to the person they got stolen from? People are just... cool with that?"

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take a one way ticket to the bacchanal

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