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lifeaftr2018-01-02 05:26 pm
crosslaced) wrote in lifeaftr2018-01-02 05:26 pm
Entry tags:
but your love’s too good to lose [closed]
Who: Laurent
crosslaced and Damen dedamastai What:
When: first few days of January idk??
Where: Islet #1 Cottage #1
Warnings: gay.
[They've settled in as best as he could manage. The cottage behind the Chocobros’ can more than fit two, and has been refitted to that purpose; the supplies are more organised, they've found lights for nighttime, and what was once a tent has been turned into a canopy. That area is the most furnished, with feathers and a spread of furs, because even if Laurent has to suffer on Trashbag Island he's not going to just sleep on dirt.
It's not Arles, but it's something. He's also not sure what Damen has against Ignis, but he's taking this in steps.
Today’s agenda is full as always, and on the list is checking up on his Akleion. when Laurent enters the cottage he looks out for Damen- and interestingly, he carries with him half a dozen of the mana pool’s narcissus flowers.]
The Jormun have given notice about the sun. It's expected to set in two weeks.
Do you think we’re ready?
[It could be ‘we’ as the two of them or as the offworlders as a whole. Do you think we’re ready?]
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[There's prepared, which he believes they are or will be, and then there's ready. Experience has taught him that you can be as prepared as you like for something you know is coming and still be blindsided when it happens. There is no "ready," there is only "as prepared as I thought was necessary."
Which, knowing Lauren, will be something like overprepared. That's not a bad thing, in a case like this - though the flowers are a bit confusing. He doesn't see why they'd need to be stockpiled - he didn't even think they could be.]
Can those be kept? I assumed they wouldn't work if they weren't fresh.
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[He says this with a short sigh. It's more resignation than frustration, because he has been around the block many times and all of them are like this case.] I meant-
[Then Damen brings up the flowers, and unexpectedly Laurent drops his hand to his side- a ‘stop looking’ gesture, that's kind of too late considering how he's been fiddling aimlessly with them earlier. Like this was more of a whim than a calculated move, the flowers that is, and he realises now that he didn't think shit through. That may be what is happening right now. He may be flushing faintly. These may actually be for Damen.]
These-
They're not for keeping.
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[They aren't the same kind of flower that grow at the place, but he thinks that maybe some things don't change regardless of the circumstance. It's fine. They'll be fine, regardless of whether or not they're ready for what's to come.]
You're sweet, when you let yourself be.
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a h .]
There's a girl on the island who can make these- crowns, kind of- out of flowers, and I thought-
[Awkwardly, he pushes the flowers into Damen’s hand. It seems inefficacious to set things up when the cat is out of the bag as it is.]
You know my inadequacies in this field.
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[He's not quite stupid enough to waste favors on a crown, but he does like the idea of Laurent in crowns. Even if they're made of flowers.
. . . Which he's putting in one of the cups he arrived with, because these are his now. They're his flowers and he is going to baby them until they die.]
Or would you not wear one if I made it?
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[He would like Damen to meet Ren; Damen is warm and comforting like Laurent isn't.
The blonde sits down next to Damen, with a sideways glance at the flowers, and finds work for his hands- sharpening his knife or twining rope or some shit, the survival life is tough. Damen is going to have to do the crowning because he hasn't thought about that stuff for a long time. A prince would probably not be doing whatever he's doing right now.
His next comment is quieter, a serious question.]
How are you adapting to this place?
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[He says it absently, because it's just the two of them and he doesn't feel the need to edit his response.
But when Laurent asks how he's adapting, he doesn't respond for a moment. One the one hand: this is exactly what he wanted, in a sense. Uninterrupted access to Laurent, free from the shaky foundation of their ascensions. Everything between them was built on stolen time, and he had just wanted - not this, exactly. There was one kingdom, in his wildest dreams, but. Sometimes Damen thinks, maybe, that he only wanted a kingdom because a kingdom was what he knew how to want.
He's never had the ability to stop and consider doing anything besides what he was born for: ruling. In a sense, he understands what Kastor was so angry about. It's too late now, obviously, but he understands now that what he just plainly accepted as the path to follow was, maybe, stolen. Kastor wouldn't have made a good king, Damen knows, but still. The world is wider, less clean-cut, than he saw it and that's not something this place has given him to struggle with but he's struggling with it all the same.]
. . . You think I would be used to this sort of thing, but it's strange. Who I am has no meaning here - who I was has no meaning here. [He stops fussing with the flowers, instead tracing the edge of the golden cuff on his wrist.] And I don't know who I am, if not that.
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Of course practical concerns like the sun dying has nothing on his feelings. A part of Laurent is fondly exasperated- this is definitely the man who faced him as an enemy prince and said he would have given an army if Laurent had just asked nicely- but the rest of him is realising that maybe this is a problem. He's never been a serious contender for the throne, and so it was easy to take that mantle and kick it aside the moment he reached Nyoi-Cho. Damen… is like Auguste, and Laurent can't think of his brother as anything other than a future King.]
I know who you are. You're the man I- the man I fell in love with, Damianos.
[He reaches over and places a hand on Damen's arm.]
A good leader, a good partner- stunningly lacking in self preservation instincts, but a good partner nonetheless. You're a man so honest and true that you can scarcely think of deception, even towards someone who's done you nothing but harm.
[Laurent is well aware of the parts in Damen that persist with or without a crown. Obviously. When Damen was just a prince to him, Laurent had gone ahead and flayed the man. Now, as he lifts his eyes to Damen's, he knows he is much much more.]
Do we have to have a kingdom? Could we not just make do with... this, for now? You could learn who you are without the crown, here. With what we have.
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[He feels useless, is the thing. It's fine now, with a war looming: that's something he knows. He can fall into old patterns and not have to think about anything too much, but all that's done is made him realize how . . . utterly useless he is outside of that. He can't cook. He couldn't grow anything if his life depended on it - which it more or less does, here. He isn't a healer in the slightest. He can hunt, but he never had to deal with an animal after it was dead. How do you skin a creature? How do you prepare meat to cook? There are all these skills he's never had to learn, because someone was always there to do them for him.]
- you've learned how to take care of yourself. I know nothing but war and wearing a crown. That's fine now, fighting alongside the Jormun, but what of after? What happens when I no longer have the excuse of settling in to cover for my lack of contribution?
[In other words: "if I can't provide for you!!! then what is the point!!!!"]
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You too can learn. This isn't Vere, people are very willing to teach what they know.
[Besides, a lot of this is the result of careful networking with people who can actually do shit. Not because laurent can cook or anything like that.]
I know it will be hard on your pride. If you need help getting over that, I can throw you out.
[Winky face. Because nothing motivates like the threat of death???]
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[Or someone else's house. Someone who could be trusted to not coddle him, but who could also be trusted to not literally leave him to die. Damen knows that much - Laurent would never leave him totally adrift if it could be helped. Laurent would actually go to great lengths to make sure he was taken care of - the assortment of things Laurent had thrust at him and told him were his now were proof of that.]
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[There is no real threat in his voice. It could even be said to be playful, because Damen is absolutely right and they both know it. Even if Laurent were to turn Damen out, he would be trailing behind like a parent to a frolicking child- ready to run in at any stumble or fall. This is his life now.
Still, this is nicer than dealing with his uncle. The prospect of a future walking with Damen on these Islands… even what they have now, talking with the sound of the sea around them, is so much simpler and sweeter than anything back in Vere. Laurent leans against Damen lightly.]
Besides, you couldn’t pretend we fought.
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[He isn't, and he understands that the way they yell at each other over things like whether or not Damen can use his horse to carry items - if it can carry him, he thinks it should be able to handle an assortment of items that aren't anywhere near his weight - and whether or not a particular defensive move is worthwhile is the kind of thing that they don't carry with them, but other people think they do. After everything between them, it's hard to be too angry about arguments that are eventually settled or arguments they only get into for the sake of arguing.
Damen doesn't blame them for thinking that - the Jormun also think the matching gold on their wrists is a show of marriage. To correct them about that would take too long to explain and force him to say a number of things he would rather avoid, so he's taken to making noncommittal statements about it when they ask.]
I think most people would believe me if I was maudlin enough. [He covers his eyes with an arm and lies on the floor.] "And then he tells me that she would have always picked my brother over me. It's not as if that worked out badly, but sometimes I think maybe I should have stuck to women. At least you know where their claws are."
[It's extremely overdramatic, because honestly? Damen hasn't felt the need to stick to women since the first time he'd seen a boy with perfectly smooth, porcelain skin and hair so light you'd be forgiven for thinking it was blonde. Jokaste was always just the prettiest thing that was most convenient. She would have made a good queen and he loved her, but nothing about her was especially different from the Kyras before her - other than the fact that he'd felt she maybe wanted to settle down with him for a reason other than the throne.]
Nikandros wouldn't fall for it, but nobody here knows enough about my past to comment on how the last time a girl broke my heart I swore off them forever because boys were less complicated.
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[A wry smile turns into full out laughter- as full as it can be by Laurent's standards anyway, which is not much other than the tell-tale shaking of his shoulders- because Damen's acting is so bad it's hilarious. You know what? He's sunk far enough in life that someone might actually buy this. This ridiculous, adorable showing that would fool no Veretian but stands a chance on this remote island. ]
I wasn't serious about turning you out, but now I want to see this happen. Will you tell them how I've ruined blondes for you forever?
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[Just because he's kind of hyper-focused on Laurent doesn't mean hot blonde people stopped being hot and blonde, is all he's saying. Also he's like. 75% sure the cute blonde one is the same-ish age as Laurent and that somehow makes it worse.]
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Yes, so I wouldn't pawn you off on them.
[pensively,] That one is… friendly. He's more like Erasmus than he is me.
[Was this the right comparison? He's thinking of how Prompto has a same eagerness to please, a… similar softness. But who knows how much of this came from Erasmus’ training. Prompto would make a fair consort, he thinks, but a consort is very much different from a slave.
Besides, Damen has a precedented preference for viciousness. Which is ridiculous, but it gives him some security in his position.]
i'm sorry
I wouldn't. [He reaches out, hand settling over Laurent's wrist and covering the cuff there.] Even when I'm angry with you, you're still the only one I want. This was supposed to wait until after the upcoming battle, but -
[He reaches for his knapsack, digging through it one-handed before pulling out six books and setting them in Laurent's lap.]
For you. They're not what I asked for, but I'm told the Storyteller is like that sometimes.
1/2
I didn't mean-
[It's not like he's upset with Damen or anything, he’s not. It's only that there are standards in choosing a partner -a king’s mate especially- and if Damen were to set eyes on Lunafreya and realise how brighter she glows Laurent would be hurt, grievously, but would he really blame him? It’s just a fact of life. Much like how nobody would want a feral horse who is wild, unmanageable, and frankly an asshole.
Nobody except Damianos, reassuring him immediately, giving him- books.
The gem on his cuff- the source of his magic, he'd said, the mark of his contract- tingles with nervous energy. If Damen looks, it's shimmering like a blue-tinted mother-of-pearl - the colour has brightened into something almost white.
Those are books and he receives them with the feeling of a corkscrew driven into his chest.]
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gg]
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[Damen gestures at the books. They sure exist and he's pretty sure someone gets fucked by a horse in one of them which probably means the Storyteller is making fun of Laurent, but Damen is going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Laurent does like horses, if not like that, so maybe it's just some weird cultural thing he doesn't understand. Maybe this is just what literature is like, here.]
The fact that they're books was the important thing.
nsfw text alert
“Suddenly, I'm completely lost in a mass of pounding erections and cold scaly flesh.”
[brb laughing again.]