[Open Log] parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

[prettypurpleparlor]

Who: Muffet and YOU (plus closed prompts for a couple people).
What: Gardening and home improvement, island-style.
When: The 15th.
Where: Islet 3, and various points around Enso.
Warnings: Arachnophobia? None I can think of, but if any come up I'll add them.

remember me to the one who lives there:
[If you're passing by Muffet's house that afternoon, you might see her up and about- emphasis on up.]

[Her repairs to her little islet home seem largely completed, with half of the building covered by a neatly repaired wooden roof, over a comfortable little room... but the other half is deliberately open to the sky.]

[Instead of putting a roof over the other half of the house, Muffet has strung a large web of her own silk over the top, blocking entry to curious animals but letting the sun and rain through. The reason for this will become obvious with a bit of looking- she's turned the uncovered half of the house into a walled-in garden.]

[The roughly-made wooden floorboards she put down stop where the roof does, leaving the bare dirt free for planting, and she's taken advantage of the space to grow bountiful amounts of various edible plants somewhere she can keep scavengers from getting at them. In the very center of the garden, pride of place is given to a healthy young pear tree.]

[And as for the lady of the house herself?]

[Well, she is a spider- which is probably why she looks perfectly comfortable walking around on top of her web. She surveys the garden from her rooftop vantage point, standing casually on a single silken thread. She seems pleased with how her work is coming along.]


and sow it all over:
[Or maybe you're at one of a dozen different spots on the main island- by the lake where blackberries grow, a spot in the marsh that has carrots, or really anywhere that an edible plant can be found.]

[She works carefully, taking only a very small amount of any one thing to transplant into her garden. Still, there's more than she can carry alone, which is probably why she's very carefully tying the latest portion of her gardening haul onto the back of a...]

[Wait, what is that?]

[For all its' odd appearance, though, the... cupcake beast? Muffin monster, maybe? Well, whatever it is, it seems pretty docile, calmly accepting whatever Muffet has it carry and following her lead around the island unprompted.]


tell her to buy me an acre of land [closed to Taako and Lup]:
[Oddly enough, there seems to be one area out in the front of the house that she's cleared neatly but hasn't planted anything in, a decent-sized spot in the shade of a nearby coconut tree.]

[She's been saving that spot for a while- specifically, for as long as she needed to make sure the rest of her house was in order, so she could be sure she wouldn't have to move again too soon.]

[Because as much as she appreciates Taako's offer to build her an oven, she knows the twins are probably going to charge enough that she won't want to pay it twice.]

[Now seems like a good time to start negotiating.]


answer as many for me [closed to Ignis]
[The bulk of her garden is kept within the house walls, where she can keep it safe, but Muffet isn't one to waste space. All along the sides and back of her house she's planted more crops, and she hums softly to herself while she tends to them.]

[Passing by, someone might just happen to hear a pleasant little tune...]

Comments

[prettypurpleparlor]

My objection isn't to physical violence in and of itself- it was that you brought it into a situation where I considered it unhelpful and unnecessary. Sometimes one needs to fight directly. I don't believe that time was one of them.

[Her tone is practical, not judgemental- she didn't consider it necessary. Guzma may or may not agree with her, and that's his choice to make, she's simply stating her own viewpoint.]

But as for the rest of it... 'sell out'? To whom, exactly? Weiss isn't an organization in and of herself, and neither are you. I don't work for either of you- we're all castaways here, and I don't consider anyone on this island to be my superior or my inferior. I work with all of you, as and when I choose to, because you've all proven worth the effort.

[Her phrasing doesn't leave room for doubt that she's including Guzma in that statement, too- everyone on this island is worth her time and effort, despite what he thinks of himself.]

What I intend to do is precisely what I've been doing: whatever I want to do. And no, that does not involve abandoning you.

If I have a problem with something you do, I'll inform you of that up front and in advance- I'm not an underling to follow someone's every order, but I'm not a backstabber, either. We're people, and people disagree with each other. That's just natural.

Should we have a serious disagreement at some point, we'll deal with that as best we can. Unless and until we reach that point, however, I don't see the need to borrow trouble. We've got a surplus as it is.

[She'd genuinely like to be your friend, Guzma. But she's a friend, not a minion.]

[yallstupid]

[Guzma barks out a laugh, short and swift and with every bit of acid he can spit out between. Unhelpful and unnecessary? Please. He's not here to debate anything, or delegate calmly and rationally - idiots like that with their heads so far up their own asses don't listen to anything or anyone but what's force-fed to them...or their own hot air. He bursts the princess' bubble, and he has absolutely no regret at all. If anything, he regrets not holding her head in the fire and searing her damn lips shut.]

Not no more I ain't, but that's neither here nor there. [A shrug. Team Skull was an organization to some, especially its members. A criminal organization of stupid hoodlum kids with time on their hands and a bad reputation and hatred of those that wronged them. Of the poor hand they were dealt. And Guzma's been steering that ship for years.] And y'all know I meant, Muffy, you can cut that out. You sided with the dumb broad with a big mouth, tossing them kids under the bus so she could whine about herself.

Honestly, I thought you was smarter, but hey! You're right. I ain't y'all's boss...and y'can do whatever the heck y'all wanna do. [His smug expression falls a little at "not abandonning him". Hah, yeah sure...okay. Big words, madam, but you've yet to prove that. And Guzma's not the faithful sort.] Oh yeah, I had myself my disagreements, yup.

Don't no one remain conscious when they tel me they got a bone to pick, but then again, that was back when I was a lot worse'n I am now. I mean, look at me actually listening to what you're saying! Do I get a gold star? An A for effort? Or are y'all gonna try'n tell me we good to go, because I ain't a dummy, girlie. And disagreements ain't so easily fixed with a bunch'a fancy words and promises.

Not for me. [No, you have to prove you're in good standing with Guzma. You have to earn his trust and respect back. He has been burned time and time again; scorned, abandoned, and used by people he trusted. He's sick of it. He's sick of being a rag people can wipe their hands on and toss aside.] Tell me what y'all want from me, Muffet.

[prettypurpleparlor]

[Muffet is, in fact, quite sharp- which is why she doesn't waste time arguing his 'smarter' comment. He's got blinders on about nearly all of this, and she's not going to waste effort on the rest of it when she can focus on something actually useful.]

[Instead, she seems to be digging in her pocket for something, a thoughtful expression on her face. They've been in there since she arrived, not having found a use for them, but...]

Ah, here we are.

[And she pulls out 1 G, a single gold coin, currency of the Underground. She still carried a few around as pocket change on the Surface, more for sentimental value than anything. She holds it up so Guzma can see, smiling wryly.]

Not a star, I suppose, but gold I can do. Yes, I do believe you're making an effort, and I respect that. So, here's something I've never given up easily.

[She flips the coin into the air- a motion so smooth and casual that it's clear she must have practiced repeatedly back in Mt. Ebott, like the dramatic little soul she is- and lets it fall for him to catch.]

[She looks him directly in the eyes, tone serious again.]

Promises are a lot like gold: it's worthless in and of itself, nothing you can eat or drink, too soft to build tools or weapons from... the only value it has is what we give it. But if we do give it that value, then it becomes one of the most precious things on the planet.

What I want from you is not to get yourself or anyone else we know killed if we can reasonably avoid it. The Storyteller says they can bring the dead back, but angels know I don't want to try and test that to find out.

I promise you that I mean that.

cw: mild abuse mention

[yallstupid]

[The coin is tossed to him, and Guzma catches it easily and unflinchingly - listen, a trainer isn't a trainer if they can't toss and catch a pokeball. A good arm and a better eye just comes with the title. Once he's got it, Guzma opens his fist to inspect the trinket, turning it over in his fingers. Gold...haha.

It's always gold.

The one thing he covets, but not made like this. Not coins, but the color itself. Trophies, medals...ribbons. Gold is indeed prized, and it's something he has never, not once, gotten his hands on. The color has become a favorite to him for that reason, an obsession, due to the value it was given by him in his youth. A golden chain and pendant, hiding in his own pocket, seems rather heavy all of a sudden.]

Believe me, darlin', I know the value of gold. Had it beaten into me way back. [Literally, actually, but the crooked, almost deranged smile creeping onto his face threatens that she not ask questions about that topic. Not that he would answer.] And I can't promise you nothing when someone gets in my face like that, when they spit words like embers at the feet of me n' everyone else here, thinking they spitting gold... I don't back down from a fight easily, Muffy, sense like that never been in me.

But I ain't here to die so long as I got my pokemon to look after. If'n them other misfits can play nice with your boy Guzma, then I got no issue with 'em, yeah? I know my limits, Muffy, for the most part, it's them other folk what you gotta look out for.

[Because they inevitably tip the scales of Guzma's patience, after all. He only has so much to give before he snaps.]

[prettypurpleparlor]

[Muffet catches enough meaning from Guzma's expression to understand that it would be both unkind and unmannerly to ask about it- although she doesn't get the truth of what he's actually implying, monsters having never had the mindset for those kinds of things. The idea of deliberately hurting one's own children is still too bizarre and alien to her, even after this long living around humans, to be the thing that comes to mind.]

[This is probably for the best, as it would only be more frustrating for the Storyteller if they had a furious spider lady asking them insistent questions about whether their island's time-bending properties could possibly bring Guzma's father here so that she, personally, could beat him up.]

[Implications aside, she replies to his actual words with a calm, casual nod.]

So long as you can keep to fighting and not killing, I can accept that.

[While she speaks, she idly reaches down to a gap in the webbing with one hand, gesturing slightly to send down one purple thread that attaches to something and pulls it up with a quiet little snapping sound.]

[She holds it up, revealing it to be one small branch from one of her healthy crop of blackberry bushes, laden with small dark fruits.]

On the subject of looking after your Pokémon, I remember you mentioned to me some time ago that there were some berries on your world that I wasn't familiar with. Do you think these would make an acceptable substitute, for either you or them?

[Muffet knows the value of gold. But as tightly as she holds to it, hoards it... in the end, even she knows:]

[You can't eat gold.]

[Sometimes, other things matter more. And sometimes, a meal can be a peace offering.]

[yallstupid]

[If that were the case, Guzma may actually...do a lot more to that man than simply beat him up (again). It's perhaps in the best interests of everyone here than he stay as far as possible from his person - and that of those that actually know and care about him. Not even the people of Team Skull, not even Plumeria, know the full details of his checkered past, just the barebones. He doesn't easily divulge such things, after all. The wounds will always remain raw, the scars will always burn, or ache.

He glares at her again, very suddenly. Is that what she thinks of him? Is that what she sees? A murderer?]

I don't recall it was me that was holding a sword. [He motions for her to come down, it's hard on him to look up at the woman from here, and he'd prefer they be on equal ground when talking.] I never killed no one...even I'm not that kinda person. I been pushed to do it, sure, and maybe I woulda if'n I was a worser person, if'n I got riled up 'nuff.

[Or if Lusamine really egged him on. He really would have killed those kids. He would have attacked them enough to fatally injure or kill them. Because she willed it. And he followed her. Stupidly followed her.

The next question is...a bit odd, and Guzma raises a brow. Nice shift change, he was starting to tire of this topic, too. If they've come to an agreement, then so be it. He doesn't kill anyone, she doesn't interfere. That's the bargain, right? Seems fair enough.]

Mmm...looks almost like a Bluk berry, just smaller. [Usually the berries he knows were thicker and almost as big as a golf ball.] Doubt they have the same effects, but I'd assume the taste is the same, yeah? Sweet, a bit dry with a sour skin? Why you asking, anyway?

[prettypurpleparlor]

[There was a time when Muffet would have thought that she wasn't that kind of person either, but then Mettaton told a lie and made an offer. It doesn't matter to her whether or not she succeeded- she'll always know that she would have done it, and that's the kind of knowledge that can't be taken back.]

[So she doesn't assume that anyone is beyond killing, these days. You never know what your limit is until you hit it.]

[But whatever their limits are, they have an agreement now to mark them clearly, and she'd much rather talk about food any day. She smiles sweetly and, with a nod at Guzma's gesture, hops down from the roof. A line of magic is more than enough to slow her fall safely for such a small height, and it dissipates as she lands neatly on her feet.]

A Bluk berry, you say? Funnily enough, where I come from these are called blackberries. Not a terribly creative name, considering the color, but I can't fault them for accuracy.

As for why I want to know...

[She pops one of the berries into her mouth, smiling impishly.]

Are you saying you don't want to help me taste test these?

If I'm going to offer to share what I'm growing, I need to know if you'll all like it, don't I? I'm hardly going to, say, serve poor Ariados a meal she can't eat, that would be terribly rude of me.

[yallstupid]

[Guzma shrugs lazily. To be perfectly fair, Bluk berries were named for their color, and the fact they turn the mouth black when eaten in vast quantities by gluttonous pokemon like Munchlax or something similar. He holds out his hand, palm up, willing indeed to taste test the little berry for himself. He knows his pokemon's favorite berries, but those are different than what's available here.

Besides, pokebeans are the favored treat in Alola, and Guzma is pretty sure those can't be harvested here. He'll have to make do with what he can until the next time he has a favor saved up to obtain more of them.]

Oh, believe me, girly, there ain't much Ariados won't eat. Pokemon are all omnivores, 'scpecially once they've been caught. I mean, Ariados here's got 'er preference on live prey what wanders in 'er webs, but berries she'll scarf down no problem. Ain't seen one she don't like, yet. [Honestly, the spider was a food vacuum, she would so often steal things from the pantry, and be fed scraps or snacks by the grunts that be became the resident garbage disposal around the mansion.]

Golisopod likes things sour, a bit salty, too. Ain't a big fan of sweets, like I am, but he'll eat 'em. They just gotta be catered to 'is tastes, yeah.

[prettypurpleparlor]

Well, I can't fault someone for knowing what she likes.

[The berries are sweet and just a little tart, nicely ripe- they've been taking to her garden quite well.]

Hm... if he's fond of salty food, he might like some of the things I've been doing with seaweed, recently- it's abundant enough that I can afford to experiment with it a bit, and it keeps well when dried properly.

[yallstupid]

[Guzma shrugs - Ariados isn't picky, and that's actually made her pretty ease to please when it came to feeding. His other girl, Masquerain truly was the hardest to raise on his team. She was feisty, and very picky; preferring her food to be both spicy and sweet, but it had to be an exact, perfect balance. Anything more or less than one of those two and she'd turn her nose up at it and flutter off.

But, it did make him learn how to blend berries together to feed her. Lots of trial and error and, ahh...quite a few broken plates in frustration on Guzma's part, but...he got her to eat. And heck, he even learned to trick her into eating things he wanted her to as well. Vitamins she wouldn't otherwise get unless force fed at the Pokemon Center.]

Seaweed's one of Golisopod's main food sources in the wild, yeah, along with hard shellfish like Shellder n' stuff. Pretty sure if you got anything with that in it, he'd love it. That or something with sea salt. Been meaning to make some for myself, actually, but never got 'round to it yet.

[He also didn't have anything to really...put it in.]

We're probably getting close to wrapping.

[prettypurpleparlor]

There do appear to a fair amount of little shelled creatures around the beach- snaplings, we've been calling them. I've managed to make some rather good rolls using them with the seaweed.

Yeah, I'd say so. <3

[yallstupid]

Ah, yeah, those things? I seen 'em. [Oh thank god they have an actual name--or, uh...nickname, it sounds like, because Guzma likened them a bit to Squirtle as it'd been making him sick to his stomach any time he'd find his partner impaling them on his claws and greedily slurping out their innards. Or prying off their claws and legs while still alive and just--

Guzma shakes his head. Yeah, okay. Breathe. They're not Squirtle, don't look a thing like them, and they tasted pretty good when boiled. But oh, a roll with that meat baked in? That actually sound stupendous...enough to make his stomach stop churning and start growling. Like a dish full of steamed Kingler legs...oh man. +__+]

Yo, I think I can speak for me and Goli when I say we'd like a sneak-peek at that recipe, yo.

[prettypurpleparlor]

Hmm, here's a thought- I'm not doing much tomorrow, why don't you two stop by for lunch and you can try some of them for yourselves?

[yallstupid]

Sounds good. I'll head on over when I wake up.

[So, uh...about mid-afternoon. Probably. Definitely not before twelve, anyway.]