[ He would sell away all of his love for baseball if only he could forget the shame that was his high school life. After thinking he could get anything in life by acting like a delinquent, and failing spectacularly at it. Ichimatsu bringing it back bears a weight in his stomach, most of which is undiluited embarrassment.
His brother was right - the both of them were liars, believing that they could be something they were not designed to be. It wasn't part of them at all. Jyushimatsu liked laughing more than growling like a feral dog to random passerbys and letting his pants loose to show some superiority he didn't have, literally flashing his ass to everyone. He wanted to cringe hard at the memory.
But eventually they both changed. It's just that Ichimatsu didn't become fully honest and genuine, trapping himself in denial and putting up the front of a borderline criminal surrounded by darkness when in reality he just wants to hang out with cats and get some friends.
The friends part seems to be a little settled thanks to Ren and some other people here, but it's clear that's not enough. Ichimatsu caught the sickness, which means a lot of work still has to be done.
He takes the clear hint behind those last words. Ichimatsu wants to try. With that information now available, Jyushimatsu slowly pulls away, keeping their hands joined but now looking at Ichimatsu in the eye. They're both tearing up, but there's a shine of determination in Jyushimatsu's gaze. ]
You should try, for your own sake! Nii-san, I... you have no idea how liberating it is to just be myself and not put up a front! How great it feels when I laugh and disregard the laws of the universe cuz I'd rather do what I want! It's hard and it can be embarrassing, but you're gonna feel so much better after that!
It gets easier.
[ He nods to himself, and holds up Ichimatsu's hand in both his own. ]
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His brother was right - the both of them were liars, believing that they could be something they were not designed to be. It wasn't part of them at all. Jyushimatsu liked laughing more than growling like a feral dog to random passerbys and letting his pants loose to show some superiority he didn't have, literally flashing his ass to everyone. He wanted to cringe hard at the memory.
But eventually they both changed. It's just that Ichimatsu didn't become fully honest and genuine, trapping himself in denial and putting up the front of a borderline criminal surrounded by darkness when in reality he just wants to hang out with cats and get some friends.
The friends part seems to be a little settled thanks to Ren and some other people here, but it's clear that's not enough. Ichimatsu caught the sickness, which means a lot of work still has to be done.
He takes the clear hint behind those last words. Ichimatsu wants to try. With that information now available, Jyushimatsu slowly pulls away, keeping their hands joined but now looking at Ichimatsu in the eye. They're both tearing up, but there's a shine of determination in Jyushimatsu's gaze. ]
You should try, for your own sake! Nii-san, I... you have no idea how liberating it is to just be myself and not put up a front! How great it feels when I laugh and disregard the laws of the universe cuz I'd rather do what I want! It's hard and it can be embarrassing, but you're gonna feel so much better after that!
It gets easier.
[ He nods to himself, and holds up Ichimatsu's hand in both his own. ]
How about that?