[He sighs, and like everything else, it's a reedy sound that catches in his voicebox. Jyushimatsu really just went and asked him directly, huh. Well, that's just how he is. Ichimatsu wanted to avoid this topic if at all possible, but considering how his death was the punchline to this exact set of issues last time... now that it's been brought up to his face, there's not much room for him to wiggle away from it.]
[Not that he wants to as much as he should. Sitting here, with his immediate younger twin, sick and splayed up together in an overwhelmingly nostalgic way... makes it feel okay, somehow. Like more of a dream than something he actually let happen and accepted without a second thought. Maybe that's the difference between who he was then and who he is now - or who he is without anyone, and who he is with his brother.]
[Jyushimatsu is scared, though. He can feel it in the hand trembling against his. So even though Ichimatsu is the joker of the family who spits out blunt things like tacks, he keeps his voice low and gentle for his little brother, one of his hands moving up to brush away the bloodied petals he'd coughed into Jyushimatsu's hair.]
... death here isn't permanent, Jyushimatsu. I knew that before it happened. Anyway, for me, it was like... the same way a sick cat feels. They prefer hiding everything and going off alone, too. [It tastes a little bitter as he says it. That's the exact same analogy he gave to Drifter last time, too; they hadn't found it a good enough excuse, either.] Even then, though... I kept thinking of those two right until the end. A-and the rest of you, too. How you'd all handle it, and if... you were there...
...
I-I think... maybe... it was the wrong thing to do.
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[He sighs, and like everything else, it's a reedy sound that catches in his voicebox. Jyushimatsu really just went and asked him directly, huh. Well, that's just how he is. Ichimatsu wanted to avoid this topic if at all possible, but considering how his death was the punchline to this exact set of issues last time... now that it's been brought up to his face, there's not much room for him to wiggle away from it.]
[Not that he wants to as much as he should. Sitting here, with his immediate younger twin, sick and splayed up together in an overwhelmingly nostalgic way... makes it feel okay, somehow. Like more of a dream than something he actually let happen and accepted without a second thought. Maybe that's the difference between who he was then and who he is now - or who he is without anyone, and who he is with his brother.]
[Jyushimatsu is scared, though. He can feel it in the hand trembling against his. So even though Ichimatsu is the joker of the family who spits out blunt things like tacks, he keeps his voice low and gentle for his little brother, one of his hands moving up to brush away the bloodied petals he'd coughed into Jyushimatsu's hair.]
... death here isn't permanent, Jyushimatsu. I knew that before it happened. Anyway, for me, it was like... the same way a sick cat feels. They prefer hiding everything and going off alone, too. [It tastes a little bitter as he says it. That's the exact same analogy he gave to Drifter last time, too; they hadn't found it a good enough excuse, either.] Even then, though... I kept thinking of those two right until the end. A-and the rest of you, too. How you'd all handle it, and if... you were there...
...
I-I think... maybe... it was the wrong thing to do.