ichininyaanshi: colored by <user name=throesofangels site=tumblr.com> (so i'll sit here in the silence)
松野一松 「мaтѕuno ιcнιмaтѕu」 ([personal profile] ichininyaanshi) wrote in [community profile] lifeaftr 2020-02-18 12:10 am (UTC)

[He cringes, and his eyes slide away from his little brother. No, Jyushimatsu isn't wrong. And the question he asks next is one with an answer that Ichimatsu would ordinarily keep to himself - tucked away in his head, because there's no point in saying it out loud. But he feels the threat of itching at his throat, and exhales slowly.]

You don't need me hovering over you. B-but... of course I would. That's normal.

[It comes out a bit awkwardly, but there's no bitterness. It's the honest truth. There's a difference between being needed and being wanted, and for someone like Ichimatsu, the latter is entirely fine... he needs others, but he doesn't need to be needed. Being wanted is good enough. All it means is that unlike him, Jyushimatsu could stand on his own two feet if he wanted to. That's a good thing.]

[The jealous, selfish asshole he was a few years ago might've thought differently, but he's changed a little since then.]

[... as for that first part.]

[Ichimatsu lets his head fall against the top of his twin's, eyes fluttering shut. His little brother is trying to help him so badly... and he can't really think of anyone else in the world he'd be this willing to let help. He's just annoyed that Jyushimatsu has to see any of his older brothers this way.]

[When Ichimatsu didn't.]


This Overgrowth... it gives all those liars and posers what they deserve. It was a pain at first. But as soon as we all realized that, I just kept thinking... "at least Osomatsu-niisan and Shittymatsu aren't here anymore".

[He wouldn't have been able to help them. The admission sits on his tongue like a thorn, but he can't get it out; he coughs wetly instead, a drip of sap and blood beading at the corner of his mouth. He swallows, and unthinkingly reaches to grab at his brother's hand. Like an apology for two deaths that never happened; for one death that did, and he did nothing to stop, and won't directly admit no matter how many flowers he has to hork up.]

I still don't know about that idiot eldest, but... Karamatsu would've died for sure.

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