[Tim is the worst person to have to tell a secret to, because all that's left are the things Connor doesn't tell anybody. He's left most of the story in the gaps and offhand statements he says, and it would be cheating to say one of those things more explicitly. Which is why, after a long moment, Connor breathes out.]

I wrecked my car by driving it into a tree. [This isn't the secret, but he has to start there so the secret makes sense.] I said I lost control of the car. I don't lose control of vehicles.

[The unspoken truth in that combination of facts is that he was trying to wreck his car. That's not the secret either.]

Nobody ever asked why I was on my way to Ohio at 3am.

[Connor pauses, partially to swallow down the petals lodged in his throat and partly because he doesn't know how to word what comes next.]

I don't know either. I just - I had to leave. [He swallows again.] I spent the entire summer pretending it could be okay again. It wasn't.

[He coughs and there's no blood, but a flurry of white petals fall to the ground. His voice is clearer when he speaks again, but also quieter.]

The last thing I was living for was Miguel and I couldn't even keep myself from ruining that. Once it was gone, I didn't see the point in trying anymore.

[Breathe. In and out.]

And that wasn't fair to either of us, but when is love ever fair? It's not even fair that I'm telling you this. It's not fair that you had to tell me you're a murderer.