[It's not funny, really. It's not, but Connor laughs anyway. It's bitter and helpless, because if only. If only that's what it was.]
I think I'm invincible because I can't fucking die. I keep trying and I'm still here. Still alive.
[Were he not on Monsun, he'd know that there's reasons why he shouldn't just give the fuck up. There's people who care about him. The dream on Ziziphus had shown him that if he'd just - he could be happy. He could, if he could just find the fucking light switch in his brain that would make him remember that life isn't just being imprisoned by your own goddamn brain.
Here, he can't think of a single reason to be alive. He just wants to stop existing, wants to be free of this hellish afterlife he doesn't even want.]
You could shoot me and at this point I'd probably thank you.
cw: oh here's the actual suicidal ideation
I think I'm invincible because I can't fucking die. I keep trying and I'm still here. Still alive.
[Were he not on Monsun, he'd know that there's reasons why he shouldn't just give the fuck up. There's people who care about him. The dream on Ziziphus had shown him that if he'd just - he could be happy. He could, if he could just find the fucking light switch in his brain that would make him remember that life isn't just being imprisoned by your own goddamn brain.
Here, he can't think of a single reason to be alive. He just wants to stop existing, wants to be free of this hellish afterlife he doesn't even want.]
You could shoot me and at this point I'd probably thank you.