[It always happens like this. He starts to crumple, and then he's made of fragile, red-stained glass, needs to be handled with kid gloves, needs to be gently and carefully let down so he doesn't hurt anyone, so he doesn't start bawling like some fucking infant. If he could be grateful for anything, he could be grateful for that, with Jay; he never switched tacks in a way that was obvious, never felt the need to rush in and pat someone's ass for something that wasn't even really an accomplishment. His comfort was awkward and stumbling and imprecise and weird, but - ]
[Maybe that's why it felt almost genuine, in its own stilted, Jay way.]
[So wipe your nose, Tim, try and swallow it down like the pathetic, scared little boy you never really stopped being, and answer.]
Do you really wanna...do this? Right now? [There's an unspoken plea there, couched between the nervous upward dart of his eyes and the concave bow to his spine, the way he keeps trying to shrink down.]
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[It always happens like this. He starts to crumple, and then he's made of fragile, red-stained glass, needs to be handled with kid gloves, needs to be gently and carefully let down so he doesn't hurt anyone, so he doesn't start bawling like some fucking infant. If he could be grateful for anything, he could be grateful for that, with Jay; he never switched tacks in a way that was obvious, never felt the need to rush in and pat someone's ass for something that wasn't even really an accomplishment. His comfort was awkward and stumbling and imprecise and weird, but - ]
[Maybe that's why it felt almost genuine, in its own stilted, Jay way.]
[So wipe your nose, Tim, try and swallow it down like the pathetic, scared little boy you never really stopped being, and answer.]
I'm s - I've said...
[Words fail.]
[It's what they do.]
[Breathe, please. Breathe. Don't break down, please.]
Do you really wanna...do this? Right now? [There's an unspoken plea there, couched between the nervous upward dart of his eyes and the concave bow to his spine, the way he keeps trying to shrink down.]
[Do we really have to do this?]